We Could Hear a Pin Drop in the Middle of a Linkin Park Concert
It was inevitable that the topic of Jasmine suddenly getting sick and dying would come up last week while we were in Indiana. It was, after all, the first time we had been there since it happened. We never go anywhere without dogs in tow, so everyone is used to seeing us with them when we are visiting. Some people already knew what had happened, but more often than not it was news to people that we had lost the sweet little girl.
The topic was apparently heavy on Alexis' mind, just as it was on ours. The first night that we were at Grandma's house, Alexis sat with her 4-year old cousin, introducing him to Meg and Cody. Then she went on to detail her version of why Jasmine wasn't there. I sat a few feet away teary-eyed as my 2-year old explained something so complicated using phrases and words far more mature than her age would seem to dictate.
It was one of those soft conversations that I might have missed if I weren't cursed with the inability to filter out background conversations. I've always been that way--stuck with Super Ears. It's a blessing when I'm running a training session because I definitely hear every side conversation going on in the room, and can either adapt the class to resolve issues, or freak people out with the realization that I totally know what they are whispering about in the back of the room. It has been a curse when I have had to work in cube land. It's really hard to focus on your own work when people all around are engaged in a million random conversations. It's not that I WANT to hear them, I just do. The only thing that works to block it all out is a good set of headphones and some very loud Linkin Park.
I suspect Alexis has inherited those Super Ears from me. Of course little people always hear everything that is going on around them, but some of the things that she's been saying since we returned to Pittsburgh have convinced me that she heard WAY more than she should have while in Indiana.
I know for a fact that Alexis was cheerily playing thirty feet away in a play room on Thanksgiving Day when I was talking to one of Mr. Husband's Aunts about the whole Jasmine situation. And yet, Alexis has recited that conversation to me almost verbatim. She overheard conversations that included words like "dead" and "cremated." She didn't know those words before, and I'm certain they weren't used when she was in close proximity. She must have been tuning in those Super Ears at some very inopportune times.
I hate that any two-year old has reason to have a vocabulary that includes death terms, and I really hate that mine does. So, don't mock me when I give her my old iPod and load it with some really loud Linkin Park.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Reader Comments (28)
I say 'load away'. If using music protects them, I say go with it....
A Mom's gotta do...
Yeah, my WildChild hears EVERYTHING - never misses a conversation - EVER! It's painful. Very painful. Now that she can spell, there is no hiding from her.
Music does work - and she so enjoys her cd player - yeah, Santa is bringing an MP3 player. YEP YEP YEP.
Found one at ToysRUs (website anyway) that clips and only has 3-4 buttons. EASY and can be clipped to shirts and jackets. YIPPEE.
I hated working in the cube world. I apparently have the same ears because I overheard so much gossip, and a lot of it was about ME. People really need to learn not to gossip in a cubicle. It is asking for trouble.
I hated working in the cube world. I apparently have the same ears because I overheard so much gossip, and a lot of it was about ME. People really need to learn not to gossip in a cubicle. It is asking for trouble.
They do hear everything - especially that stuff we wish they wouldn't. I'm sorry your sweet girl had to learn any of this so early, but I'm all for drowning it all out with Linkin Park. Wish they'd had mp3 players when my kids were young.
I have the same problem with my nose....I can smell something bad way before anyone else does, if they ever do....But at least you have a temporary solution to Alexis' super ears!
I'm so sorry she had to take on the grown up responsibility of explaining that. Poor A.
But, I still can't help but think Edward Cullen - had the ability to hear every conversation & liked LP.
Im sorry she has to learn these things so young. But with you and Mr Husband behind her Im sure she will be ok.
That picture...her eyes are so beautiful.
Knowing about death is not a bad thing, really. Death is a part of life, even if it is a part we don't want to know or experience. My children's first experience with death was when my brother, who was living with us at the time, died in an accident. They were 3, 4, and 6 years old. They handled it very well for being so young. Better than a lot of the adults.
My heart still breaks a little bit for you each time I think about this. But I know that you and Mr. Husband handled it in a way that ensures Alexis will learn these life lessons in a way that reminds her of all the awesomeness of life while accepting the not-as-awesome parts. Hang in there.
First, I love that picture. Gorgeous!
Second, my heart hurts at hearing you talk/write about her explaining where Jasmine is. Sweet thing she is doing her best. I would've been teary right with you.
I think Karen said it very well. Death is a part of life, and it's one of the things that pets teach children with their exceedingly short lives. I think it's great that Alexis has the words to explain what happened and seems very resilient. She's going to be a very pragmatic girl as she grows up.
Peace - D
Aaron is also too well versed with death. After 3 funerals of close family members in less than a year, he understands funeral homes and cemeteries way better than a 4 year old should.
I'd like to suggest that headphones full of loud disco music works just as well. DISCO INFERNO, SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING and IT'S RAINING MEN really drown out dribble!!
Hallie
How right you are. Everyday I wake up hoping the world is a little kinder and gentler than it was when I went to bed the night before so my children can be spared all the bad things. The MP3 sounds like a great idea to me!
It's crazy what they pick up isn't it...Maybe load it with the Backyardigans?
how sad :(
we have had to deal with the death of a loved pet, too. It sucks.
And I don't blame you one bit for the linkin park thing!
btw I am back from my blogging hiatus for good now.
awwww :( And I agree. :(
i love Linkin Park...
i can't imagine how tough that is to deal with. We touched on death, when my mom and grandmother both died. Genny was 6, at the time, and I felt like even that was too young...
They do hear it all, don't they? Poor girl, having to learn about death so young.
I have super ears too. Mark also inherited them.
It is a testament to your parenting that she can talk about this very adult and very painful topic with such calm rationality. Children will always *react* the way their parents *act*. If she'd seen you wailing hysterically she would have forevermore melted into a puddle of uncontrolable sobs any time Jasmine's name was mentioned. Because you handled it so well, so does she. I've seen too many kids turned into major drama kings and queens by over-reactive parents. Alexis will most likely never have that particular problem. Have I told you lately that you are definitely on my list of good mom examples? xoxoxo
Sounds like she just wants to be (and is!) like her Mommy!
Awww. Alexis just melts my heart. I agree. I want to keep them young and innocent forever. In this day and age it is next to impossible.
I can't imagine the things that J has already heard. I wait for the moment when he will finally find his words and repeat it all back to me and ask the dreaded questions.
I know they'll come.
As for super ears . . . man would that have come in handy as a teacher. All I had was the infamous stink eye. And that was just plain creepy.
No 2 year old should ever know about death. It still hurts me knowing that it touched your family.
those super ears tend to go along with sponge brain. they soak it all up and it stays in there...
and no, she has no business knowing about death now.
It's tough to deal with at any age, but 2 is way to young to have knowledge of that topics. I'm so sorry.
My daughter also seems to have Super Ears (which I do not). It always surprises me when she hears an airplane really far away outside through a lot noise by us. I have to mute the TV and strain to hear. This is why we have to have white noise on in her room while she sleeps, or else every little noise would wake her up. We know from before the white noise machine.
I can totally relate on this one. Morgan will, out of the blue, tell someone her doggie went to Heaven. In the next breath, she'll tell them she misses her Baylee boy so much and wants to hug him one more time.
Not fair.