Our 'Hood is Diverse, Yo
When we first moved to this neighborhood, it was very lacking in the diversity department. Everyone pretty much fell into one of two groups: there were the retirees who had grown weary of their over-sized homes and decided to move into smaller quarters, and there were the young couples/singles who were just starting out. Over the last six years, we've watched as our neighborhood has slowly become a little more diverse.
Early on, there wasn't a single kid anywhere. Now, for the first time, we have our very own gang of no-good punks. As they are constantly playing in the street unsupervised, and have not developed a healthy fear of oncoming traffic, I don't expect them to be a problem for long. I'm pretty sure one of the remaining retirees will manage to take out the whole lot of them in one clean swoop. If one of the snots manages to escape crazy Granny and her Buick, he will probably fall victim to drowning in our pond. Along with their lack of respect for cars, the hooligans also don't understand the words, "Get out of my yard, you stupid brat!" or "If I catch you stepping on my flowers again, I'm calling the police!" (I'm looking for a new line if anyone has any ideas. I'd prefer something that doesn't make me sound 80.)
While people with kids were moving in, they brought with them a wider range of ethnicities. We live in a very white part of town and are lacking a lot of the diversity that you will find in most of Pittsburgh. However, I'm pretty sure you could (finally) put together an entire rainbow of people with various belief systems if your were to go door-to-door selling Girl Scout cookies. In fact, there's probably more diversity in our little 'hood than in all the rest of our township combined.
But now we seem to have achieved a whole new level of diversity in our little corner of the world. The photos are a little fuzzy, but I pinky swear that they are what I say they are.
First up, we have the trash that the garbage guys decided they weren't picking up this morning. This isn't the first time we've seen this sort of pile, and it's probably not the last. Just for the record, two people live in the house and there was no party this past weekend. I'm positive.
In and of itself, that is quite an amazing feat. Now couple it with the pile of incoming packages that were no more than 50 feet from the proof that we have some serious white trash alcoholics in our midst:
I feel really bad for the lady that lives in between those two.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Reader Comments (43)
I think a line something in order of "the flower beds have electrical currents running through them" may be fun.
Good Lord that's a lot of beer. See how I did that? Lord? Beer? Ha! I'm cracking myself up tonight.
I say embrace your inner 80 year old.
Are you sure you weren't taking pictures of my in-law's garbage and deliveries? Sure looks awful similar . . . :-)
As for the hoodlums - remote sprinkler.
I just hope your neighbors are too drunk to realize you keep a blog, log on to it and see that their house is on there. Nah..they are. Look at all that beer!!!! No worries!
maybe if you text them to get the heck off your flowers they will notice.
Hee hee hee on the pictures- lucky you!
You sound like me! My husband tells me I'm the mean lady all the kids hate. I'm pretty sure my reputation follows me because I am NOT the house all the kids end up at. It's the only reason I can come up with that they don't want to play here. I'm just too mean.
nice. there's nothing like empty beer cases to class up the neighborhood!
Did you have to go covert to get those pictures or do you just have one rockin zoom? I would totally get caught, I know it!!
I'm not a drinker, so I don't really know, but that much beer doesn't seem healthy. Just sayin'.
at least my drinking problem is contained within my recycling bin(s). Maybe if your neighbors shared some of their beer with the garbage guys, they'd take away their boxes.
Sixteen cases? Eww. But, you never know about those Christian online places. Check this one out: http://www.book22.com/merchant2/
Wow. Crazy.
CELERY you.
that is A LOT of books...
lol @ the middle girl.
That is a lot of Jesus. And a lot of drinkin. Hey. I thought of something you can tell the punks (asuming they're guys)..ahem... "Next time I catch you in my flower bed your penis will be our new door knocker!". Huh? Huh?
did you just recently redo your template? I really like it.
16 cases of beer, that has got to be a record holder somewhere!
The title of the post cracks me up!
Maybe they just wanted to use the boxes...?
Actually, I think I used to be between those people. Only the alcoholics? Not white trash (el Salvadorian). ANd not 2. More like about 15 (in a 3 bedroom house). Much more beer though and it was Modelo, rather than Miller.
And they were evicted a month ago.
As for the punks? Our dogs take care of that. There are still a few people convinced our Kerry is a pitbull (rolls eyes) and LOTS of people think our podengo is a coyote mix. So they avoid our house like the plague. The adults on the other hand....
Yeah, I am hoping the beer drinkers were just cleaning out their basement. Yikes!
You totally snoop at your neighbors packages don't you? You're the neighbor hiding in the bushes taking pictures, so I'm not sure you are the good neighbor poster child.
I'm not exactly in the know about punk speak, so this might not make any sense, but how about "Yo, my flowers are sick, so you best step, 'for I bust a cap in your ass, dawgs"?
Tell the kids your yard is full of underground electric fences and they are set to go off at random times. You have no control over it and it'd be a shame if they happened to be in your yard at the same time the fence goes off.
Actually, that wouldn't be a shame. It'd be pretty freakin' funny :)
That is whay my driveway looks like after a weekend with Hallie...
Kimmy
I'll tell ya what I did with a bunch of skateboarders on my front sidewalk. hehe
These kids would only board RIGHT in front of my house WHILE my boys were napping. They jumped, and fell, and yelled, and cussed RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE AND ON MY NEWLY INSTALLED GRASS (that my hubby broke his back laying).
Anyway, I decided to befriend them. Every time they brought the gang in front of my house I would take all three of my boys outside to "watch" the "cool" boarders. I would throw out my sweetest mommy vibe while trying to talk my best jive. I know, it was funny. My boys asked them a million questions without stop. Soon the boarders found out that the smoothest sidewalk in the area wasn't worth the fanfare of a lame mommy and her three curious boys. They have never come back. hehe
Suckers.
That's funny!
I apparently am 80 because when the crazy girl across the street decided to "pick" all the flowers I'd transplanted just that day I made her bring them all back, all 36 of them, and plant them right back into the ground while I lectured her on private property and work ethic.
I still can't figure out why her parents took out that restraining order on me.
Ya, that problem is going to eventually solve itself...grab a video camera.
Ha! Beer and Christian books all in one pop! Now that is great entertainment. Don't you just love good bloggin' material that just falls right into your lap?
I say you threaten to sick the dogs on them. hehe. Meg could be scary looking.
I love what kathryn did! Kill 'em with kindness and incessent questions from kids!
I see the punk kid skateboarders in the street by our house and I smile at them. I think they are so cute! Look at those widdle boys thinking they are sooooo coool. Awww, how precious. I think they'd flee if they could hear my thoughts, but I get an unsure, half smile back from them.
But they are down the street from me and move enough out of the road that I can drive by. My husband, the crotchety young man that he is, wants to run them over. I tell him no.
p.s. I tagged you for a meme.
Just do what my husband did shortly after we moved in.
We noticed that there was a gang of kids that hung around late at night, in the street, yelling, screaming, running in everyone's yard, even our BACK yard that is fenced....and we have an in ground pool so we didn't want the liability or the pool hoppers....god I'm getting old.
Anyway, one night when they were all out there....him and a friend decided to have a roman candle war...you know...where they shoot fireworks at each other. His idea was to show these kids that he was crazy and they should stay away!
I just laughed at the burn marks on his a** and as for the kids...they stay away, but I swear they laugh as they walk by our house now!
Christians on one side and beer on another? Your poor neighbor is caught between the forces of good and evil! Wonder what that makes her?
And regarding your Granny/Buick comment? Um, just call me Granny.
I love your neighbors already! When are you hosting a party and when should I be there?
Can I bring anything? :)
Hallie
Maybe they are praying for more beer? Ya never know.
I think you should send the toddler out there to chase away those bad boys with her schnazzy car, she can run 'em over! Either that or send Meg out there to share some of her butt perfume with them. Now that would clear them out quickly, no? :o)
Lizzy
I'll trade you your alcoholics and religious freaks for my auto thieves and muggers, K? ;)
Are *you* the lady in between those houses?
And yup, I'm with Cheri, great title to this post!
Are you sure you don't want to be friends with the beer drinkers? Looks like a hook up to me! I love neighbors, oh they make life so interesting!
Good lord! Drunk neighbors (who drive) + kids in the street = I think this issue will work itself out soon enough.
Yeesh. There's always one icky family on the block. Sorry you've got two.
LOVE your graphics!
Oh neighbors..........they sure do spice things up, huh?!?!
There's a group of punks always on my mom's street. The don't even move to the side of the road at all when a car comes. They make you go around them but it's hard when they are smack dab in the middle of the street! I yelled at them one day and then I was embarrassed because I felt like I was an old bitty!
That is pretty diverse!
I'd MUCH rather have the alcoholics than Mrs. Kravitz . . . you can keep the Bible thumpers . . .
Wow. Yep, that's some real diversity if I ever saw it!
Whoa dude. Thats a lot of beer! Either a) because they live on their own, they were too lazy to take it out and so it sat for quite a while til someone got sick of looking at it or b) you're right, they can down 16 cases like no ones business. I hope for your sake its door #1, cuz door #2 could put anyone at risk should they decide to drive after such a task. Wowza!
I have a story for you-email me and I'll tell, but I can't post it!
As for the neighborhood--well we might as well be in the same one~ only instead of biblethumpers we have jehovah witness and instead of alcoholics we have car collectors (one has been sitting in the street in front of my house for about six months now)
I always ask the kids where there parents are--and if I can talk to them. That usually stops them around here.
Good luck. Oh and today we saw "the beast" emblazoned on the back of a pick up in my next door neighbors driveway!
How amusing.