I Am Not Amused
As I hurriedly rinsed the soap from my hands, a tiny little glint caught my attention. In a rare show of vanity, I glanced up at the mirror. I'm not one to actually check my appearance during the day because, really, what am I going to do? Comb my hair? Touch up my makeup? HAHAHAHAHA! No. I'm not going to do a thing. Why bother even looking?
I leaned closer, confused as to how there seemed to be exactly one strand of very blond hair, despite the fact that I desperately needed to touch up my blond highlights. "Weird," I thought.
Then I did a double-take. "No freakin way. Is that?"
My eyes grew wide as I ripped that one lonely hair out. I wasn't completely sure, but it seemed to be . . . white. Or gray. Not blond.
That was a year ago.
Guess what happens when you stop highlighting your hair, and decide to dye it even darker than your natural color?
Uh, yeah.
That one lonely maybe-white-maybe-gray-maybe-blond hair dared to show its face. And it brought friends. Like, a dozen or so of them. Not only are they peeping through where there should be dark brown, they are LOUD and they are PROUD.
The mother truckers are ruining my plans for not ever dying my hair again, what with their taunting and screaming and mocking of my eyes. They are all, "HA HA! You used to always be the youngest at everything, but now you're just an old woman! HA HA! See what happens when you have kids! HA HA! Hey! Look at me! I AM PROOF THAT YOU ARE OLD, BIOTCH!"
Flipplesnuckleshnart.
It's still better than having bird poop all over my head, though.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Reader Comments (22)
LOVE that she's dancing with the monkey/gorilla/dudewiithbirdpooponhishead.
Tomorrow I will take a picture of my roots and make you feel much better about yourself. I got my first grey hair at 18. I am almost 37. An old stylist told me that I was "beyond" highlights because they're really just for blending with the grey and well... apparently I'm "beyond" blending too. Grey hair can #suckit!
I am at least 50% gray according to my hair guy. L'Oreal Feria rocks. ~deep sigh~
Btw, love the Scandinavian curse. hee hee
I have little whisps of it on the sides of my hair, but not anything tremendously noticable. My beard is getting in more and more, but I like it. I attribute my lack of gray for my age to the fact that I don't have kids, and therefore get to drink a lot.
I need pictures as proof.
I have visible greys in my hair, especially in my bangs. I'm 20. argh
My hubby says I have a few gray hairs...I SWEAR they are blond-I am not vain...I agree with your "why bother checking the mirror" persona...I do not have any gray on my head...the "grey hairs" he reported were truly blond (even w/o highlighting I have always had mixed colored hair)...but I do have a few gray hairs in a place I will not name..which I feel is WORSE! I am sure i am older than you and praying my grandma gave me her hair gene-she is JUST NOW turning grey-she's 90+ srsly.
bwahahaahahahahaa... *gasp wheeze breathe cough gag*
bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa.......
welcome to my world.
I made a promise to myself I would not color my hair until I started going grey. That was 15 years ago. Unfortunately - it's time to start coloring.
I found a hair the other night and almost wrote about it. I swear it's blonde. I swear!! I destroyed the evidence just in case it is not blonde. The husband has grey in his beard and sideburns. I must keep it so I can continue teasing him about being old! I must! His father is almost completely bald, though, so I need to be grateful he's just greying :).
HA!!! true indeed...bird poo really sucks. Seriously though, I'd rather get gray hairs than be 20 years old again. I get those stray wiry monsters too sometimes, but my man's got a lot more gray than I do so I figure as long as he has more than I do, I'm OK.
I have a few gray pop out here and there. I'm not sure if I'll ever dye my hair or not. I don't want to, because my hair is a unique shade of auburn, and I'd never match it well...But I don't know if grey is my preferred alternative.
My dad's bald friend had a bird poop on his head before. Yuck.
I decided long ago that I wouldn't dye my gray hair. I would bring it back into style and be radiant.
... Yeah. I found my first gray hair when I came home from having my first baby. I was 26. Now they're peeking out from my temples and hiding under the rest of my curls. No one else claims to see them. But I know. I know those suckers are there.
We'll see how long I can hold out without coloring.
I don't know what's worse, gray hairs or the fact that you used to be blond and are most certainly not now but still want to be. Not that I know anyone like that.......
Bird poop... ha ha ha!
I. am. so. with. you. Did you SEE how many http://www.crazyadventuresinparenting.com/2009/06/looking-old-maybe-feeling-old-not.html" rel="nofollow">gray hairs I have on my head?
Ha. I started going gray/white at 18. TOTALLY white haired now at 35. Lovin that I have to color my hair every.4.weeks. I understand you... a little. :)
Oh go ahead--sinead o'connor yourself--you never look anyway right?
he he he
Wait till she is a teenager. Then you can light a room with the 'whites'
(they are not grey. Grey is for grandmas...)
Count yourself lucky woman! I got my first when I was 26, and they've been invading my head ever since.
I HATE white hair. I don't have that man, but I have dark brown hair, so they are VERY visible.
i'm all white. if i don't dye it. and quite frankly, having to dye my hair every 3 weeks, i'm thinking it is a LOT cheaper to have bird poop on my head. ok, so it might be disgusting. but i could get really fancy smelling shampoo.
My mother and her mother and her grandfather and her great-grandma were white by the time they hit 50. I am 38. Blonde high-lights no longer conceal the gray. I went back to brown and must color once a month. It stinks. And after 2 weeks, I can't pull my hair back because then the gray roots are really exposed.