Memories. Saved.
As we slowly inch closer to the date that we are supposed to move (3 more weeks), the bittersweet starts to show its face. There is no doubt that we need to sell our townhouse that we live in now. Financially, it's the right thing to do. We've been out of space longer than Justin Timberlake has been lookin' good. We are SO over the whole home owners association thing. Alexis needs a fenced yard. There is ZERO doubt that it's the right choice.
But.
Looking around, there are little memories, important memories, memories I want to keep. There's the scuff in the wood floors that I swear Alexis used to trip over. It's totally a crazy thought that a tiny little scratch could make a newly walking baby trip, but she really did have a magical way of falling right there. All the time.
When I walk up the stairs, I see a flaw in the molding. It's the spot that the Bulldog, Meg, once decided to attack. She literally chewed a hole in the wall, and we've never known why. It was a one-time crazy, so I can only guess the wall told her that her butt looked big when she stomped down the stairs. That spot reminds me that the puppy isn't the only house destroyer in the family, and at least he goes after furniture which is easier to fix or replace.
Walking into the kitchen, I always notice the corbels that hold up the small section of counter to the right. They are a reminder of a kitchen remodel gone horribly wrong, but that later turned out perfect. Mr. Husband spent hours staining those corbels, and even longer perfectly mounting them to the wall so that they would safely support the stone counter top. They weren't in my original vision, but he made them work.
Upstairs, I take pause when I walk past the spot where Jasmine passed away. It's just a little corner of our bedroom, but it's so much more. It's her spot. It's the place where she was when I last heard her whimper, where the spirit of the best dog we'll ever have left us unexpectedly in the middle of the night.
And then there is Alexis' room. Every inch of it holds memories, but most especially the walls. I spent hours carefully hand painting murals in her room in the weeks before she was born, before we knew she was a she. There's the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe on one wall, Hey Diddle Diddle on the next, and Humpty Dumpty on the third. It's the Humpty Dumpty wall that most gives me pause. On that wall is Hank, the horseman. When Alexis was tiny, her changing pad sat directly below Hank. She used to stare up at him lovingly, chattering away, each time we changed her diaper. I used to joke that Hank was her first crush.
A single guy is (hopefully) buying our house, and I'm sure that little floor scratch, that mark on the wall, those corbels, Jasmine's spot, and Hank will all be completely meaningless to him. That makes me sad. Fortunately, I have this little spot to write down those memories so I can bring them back later.
More fortunately, we get to start making new memories in a new house.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Reader Comments (25)
you painted that? You have skillz!!!!
the best part about moving is that Alexis is just old enough to probably remember the process. I have REALLY distinct memories about the first night in my house, perched on the deck railing talking to the new neighbors. It's nice to remember!
Thank you.
I am crying now.
no. seriously. you PAINTED that?????
Hank and Co. look photoshopped on. I'm in love with them myself.
I tend to think of all the new fun and memories we'll be having in the new place because if I focus on losing the old memories I'll cry.
As much as I want out of this house, I know I will cry like a big sissy baby when we finally do move on.
I think a home become a part of you and moving on from it requires a grieving process.
I'm glad that you wrote about those memories. My dad is always saying there must be something wrong with me, because I have this weird ability to leave a house (my parent's house I grew up in, and our old house), and never look back. My dad, on the other hand, still drives by both houses when he is in the area.
@Jen--I still drive by our old house, and when we were last in Akron, we went by our house there, too.
I have never commented before. I went by my old townhouse last week to help my old neighbor move. I didn't think I was attached to the place until I peeked over her balcony to look at my former yard. I got all teary eyed. The new owner (also a young single guy) kept the yard art that I had left. He also was maintaining my cats gravesite. It's been two years since I left. I think that is so kind of him.
Good luck in your new home.
Patti
I didn't get terribly attached to our house in California or the house hubby and I lived in when we got married, but I SERIOUSLY dread the day we move from this house . . . the house my children are growing up in and the house hubby and I are growing older in. My kids have already added so much 'character' that I can't even fathom not seeing the dings and scuffs everyday.
And LOVE the mural! You have mad skillz!
I get ridiculously attached to places. We haven't lived in our house in the 'burgh for 2 years but this past trip home was the first time we could bare to drive past. (And they paved over my flower bed! The one I spent an entire weekend digging out!). I have a house in Ohio that owned (my first) that I still haven't been able to drive past. Enjoy the bittersweet!
@Patti--Thanks for delurking! That is insanely sweet of the guy that bought your place. He's good people, for sure.
I'm spending a weekend digging up perennials to move because I think if our garden is allowed to go to hell (or gets ripped out) I will pass out. I take a little solace in knowing that the neighbors will, too, but still.
Wow! You are talented! Are you going to paint a new mural on the new wall?
New memories are good. And these memories of the new house? These are the ones that Alexis will remember.
@Allison Says--The mural I have thought out for the playroom will be EPIC. It might take me a year to do it, but it's going to rock.
I am so easily attached to things, I can't even imagine how I will feel when we move out of this house (if that ever happens). We've lived here ten years and so many memories have been made here. Just the thought of moving brings me to tears (and my girls too). Have fun making memories in your new house!
I was all sad when we moved from our first house into a much larger house.
Until my brother told me "it's just a pile of bricks. They can't love you back. It's the people that live in the house with you that matter"
Strangely that helped and now, I never get attached to a house.
When it's time to clean the oven, I move. Only joking, sort of.
I felt that same way about our first home, where we had our first two babies. I wish I had more and better pictures of the innards of that house. Still miss it, 15 years later.
I tear up when I think about leaving Jack's room. Logically I know that we are taking everything with us, even the turtles that are on the wall, but I seem to have some crazy emotional attachment to his room. I can't explain it, but I have already warned Jim that there will be tears.
sweet.
oh I KNOW. I've already started getting anxious about the tears that I know will come when we leave in August. It's hard to distance yourself from your home, even though it's just walls and a floor and some paint... but really it's more than that. If it were just Dan and me, I don't think it would be as weird... but having a baby and now a kid in the house with you, it changes everything.
Also: I don't think I've ever seen the pictures of Alexis's room! I wanna see!!!!
It's so very bittersweet leaving your current home (I can TOTALLY relate right now!), especially when it's where you brought your baby home to.
It is bittersweet. Good luck in the new home.
Ugh - Moving is tough! We lived in NC twice and neither time was for a particularly long time (15 months and, later, 2 years). Both times, despite our dislike of the area, we had such amazing memories in the houses. *sigh* Savor your pictures and memories.
Oh, I totally know how you feel :( It is so hard to leave those things, even having the memories of them, you still want THOSE things, too. And the mural I completely understand how hard it must be to leave that. *hugs*
Oh, you might have to sell your mural skillz! I would rent them should I ever actually finish walls to paint on. Peanut was supposed to have this whole Hundred Acre Wood themed room but since he still doesn't have a room, well, never mind.
You will get all new memories. And they will rock.
That's what I love about blogging. I print out my blog each month for my brother who doesn't own a computer and even after just one month, I remember funny things the girls said or did that I had already forgotten. Alexis is going to love this incredible lifestory you're writing for her.