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« I Pretty Much Only Talk to My Kid in the Car | Main | Blah, Blah, Blah. I Still Think They're Ugly. »
Wednesday
Aug262009

She Even Imagines She's a Goody Two-Shoes

I was in the mood to fight, so instead of reaching down and restarting the High School Musical CD when it ended, I let the Justin Timberlake CD start.

"I want to listen to High School Musical," Alexis said.

"It's my turn to pick music," I replied. I nearly always let the kid listen to whatever she requests in the car, but like I said, I was in the mood to fight. (What? You don't start fights with your kid? Well, you should. It's fun.)

"I'm going to tell your husband," the kid threatened.

I had to laugh at that unique response. "Go ahead," I tossed back over my shoulder.

Alexis dug around for a few minutes and eventually came up with her purse. It must have been sitting beside her car seat, jammed into some crevice. She quickly slid the zipper back and rummaged until she found her plastic Tinkerbell phone.

"Hi, Daddy," she said into the phone. "Mommy won't let me listen to High School Musical."

She paused, as if listening to a response.

"Oh," she continued. "Five minutes? OK," she said as she hung up the toy phone. "Daddy said I can listen to High School Musical in five minutes," she gloated.

"No, he didn't," I replied. I told you I was in the mood to fight.

"Yes, he did," she said defensively.

"I'm going to call him and ask him myself," I threatened.

"Nooooo! Don't call Daddy! I'll call Daddy," Alexis quickly said as she grabbed her phone again. "Hi, Daddy. Mommy said 'no' but . . . " her voice trailed off as the so-called conversation continued. My money says the kid wins an Academy Award for Best Fake Phone Call some day. A few moments later, she said, "OK, Daddy," before shutting the phone again.

"Daddy says I have to listen to you," Alexis reported in her most annoyed voice.

How am I supposed to start a fight with my kid when she's such a self-policing goody two-shoes?

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Reader Comments (43)

Oh man! That's awesome! Maybe she'll end up being the type of teenager who tells you about what she's done wrong that very day, instead of years later like a lot of us :-)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjayna

That's the best fake phone call I've ever heard. She's way too far beyond her age. She also just proved what my own mom has always said that "you can't fight by yourself".

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMirth

Priceless.

And you know that means he actually says that often enough for her to just KNOW that would have been the response. :)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sports Mama

Oh, and the picking the fight thing with your kids? Soooo much more fun when they're teenagers!!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sports Mama

Just give in to the cuteness that you created, mama. Just give in . . .

You'll have a chance to fight the good fight . . . when the cuteness wears off.

In like . . . never.

:)

*oh, do I have a story for you . . . you'll appreciate the humor. Maybe I'll share it when I come in town in a few weeks. See, it'll be funnier if I act it out.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaski

Well, hopefully she'll get fake phonecalls from Daddy when she's 16. :)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndreAnna

Damn girl, you're doing a good job.
Who me? Pick a fight with a kid? NO NEVER :-)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

:)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

This is by far the funniest and most brilliant story ever.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchasingalittlelion

I have never seen a 3 year old act out such a perfect fake phone call! What a smart kid she is. You're lucky she is a goody two shoes or you'd be in trouble!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Nice story. You tell it well.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Are you sure that Tinkerbell phone isn't real?
:-)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter3carnations

sheesh, i might even consider having a kid if it was guaranteed to be as fantastic as your little one! go, alexis!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhello haha narf

she sounds great - just like my son!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermummyl

these hose pictures are cracking me up..

anyways - when she gets to the dating age (what is that now, 38?) - she'll be a pro at faking the emergency phone call to get her away from the date from hell with creepy mc-creeper. these are essential life skills.. alexis is set.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKell

@Kell--I thought the same thing last night. Her timing is nearly perfect, so she should be good to go when she's finally allowed to date. Age 38 sounds about right for that.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

That. Was hilarious. What are you feeding that kid to make her so GOOD??? Oh, and picking fights with your kids? I do it daily. Your right. It is fun times.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDina

SHUT UP! That is way too funy! How di dyou make her so good?
ps. Check out my blog, I'm asking questions that I think you may have the answer to!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPoltzie

That is hilarious! You have just made my day!! Thanks for that.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill

This is AWESOME! She is AWESOME!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

That's sooooo funny! She really is a great, and realistic, actress!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercaramama

That is hysterical.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle Smiles

@Dina--I can't even blame what she eats. Damn kid picks raspberries and blueberries over potato chips. I'm beginning to wonder if she's even human.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

Too funny! She's such a good girl! You'll have to let us in on your secret one day.

"I'm going to tell your husband." Priceless!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNo Princesses Here

If all REAL conversations would be so nice.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC @ Kid Things

De-lurking (I think; can't remember if I've commented yet or not) to say that is absolutely the most fabulous story!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Fantastic! I was never able to fight with or lie to my mom, so maybe Alexis will be like me. In which case, you are lucky!

I had the Music Battle in the car with Maggie today. I lost. boo.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Ha ha ha - Obviously, she values control of her own destiny over control over the radio. :) SUCH a cute story!!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie in MA

I am absolutely amazed half a day has passed without someone mocking the CD that is in my changer after High School Musical. Amazed.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

I pick fights with Carson all the time. It is fun!

You should remember this post when she's 13. :)

Maybe daddy snuck a real phone in her purse for emergencies...this of course would be one to her:) Awsome cuteness.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterourcrookedtree

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Really.

And don't be too excited. I absolutely accept the responsibility of making fun of you for your JT listening. Really. I'm HAPPY to oblige. :)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommyJ

That is priceless. How sweet she is.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMia

That kid totally rocks. That is all.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElaine A.

I LOVE it! That's great!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMy Two Army Brats

Love it, love it!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwojak1723

she should give lessons.

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe planet of janet

"I'll tell your husband"? WTH? Your kid is awesome. Boring, maybe, but awesome. ;)

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Dude - you have no idea how happy I am to know that other parents pick fights with their kids! I generally reserve mine for the car - watching them stem in the rearview mirror is a pretty okay payback for getting me up at the crack of dawn every morning.

She is going to be the kid that does something bad and then narcs herself out . . . which is not a bad thing AT ALL!

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFishsticks and Fireflies

Tell me this is made up. Because if it is not made up then that kid is too dang smart for her own good! :-)

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa @ Boondock Ramblings

@Lisa--Not one single word is made up. "I'll tell your husband" is now my most favoritest line of all time. I'm going to ask her if she's going to tell my husband on me every day for the next five years.

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

Oh my gosh, that's absolutely darling. I hope my kids turn out that adorably cheeky. :P

August 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinnie

I especially like the fake phone calls when they pace around while talking, just like a certain male does in our house.

September 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

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