Some Decisions Just Shouldn't Have to be Made
If you don't like political posts, now is the time to click away. I generally don't like them either, but sometimes you just have to say what you have to say.
And I have something to say.
I've had it up to my eyeballs with people arguing that the health care system is fine just the way it is. Frankly, I don't know what the right answer is, what exactly needs to happen to improve the situation, or what the best way to implement changes is, I just know it needs to happen. Something needs to happen.
I can choose to forget the price we personally have paid for the fact that the system has been broken for years (forever, perhaps?). We're likely still paying on credit card debt from a middle-of-the-night asthma attack that sent Mr. Husband to the ER years ago, while he was in college and without insurance. It's OK; we'll get by still paying that bill. I can ignore the two inch circular scar on the inside of my right ankle, a result of a childhood injury that was never addressed because my parents didn't have insurance and couldn't pay to take a kid to the ER for (what I now know was) a broken bone and severe contusions. I can cover that reminder with a sock. I can even pretend that I don't know just how much money insurance companies are making, and about how they are now using those profits to spread lies and propaganda, disguised as political posturing.
What I can't ignore is that which is not here.
My mom.
If you've been around for a while, you know she died of breast cancer when I was 19. What you don't know is that it was her own fault. She knew. She knew she had breast cancer, and she chose to do nothing about it until it was far too late.
When you don't have insurance and you don't have money, there are some medical procedures that are still relatively easy to come by at no cost. Mammograms are on that list. When she found a lump, she went to a free screening and was told that it was likely a problem, and that she needed to follow up with a physician.
But she didn't have insurance. She also didn't have the money to pay for care out of her pocket.
So, she did what she thought was right. She felt that it would be stealing to go to the doctor knowing that she couldn't pay. She didn't want to clog a physician's schedule with a non-paying customer when others could pay. She didn't want to depend on public assistance. She didn't want to take money out of your pocket.
She assigned a price to her life and decided her life was worth less than that of someone with insurance.
Sure, it was her fault she died at the age of 45. It was absolutely her responsibility to take care of herself first and then worry about the ramifications later.
But why should she have ever been in the position to have to make that decision?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Reader Comments (35)
I am with you - I know that the system is broken, and I know that something need to be done to fix it. And I don't understand why there is so much bickering and stonewalling when the goal is the same for all sides. It saddens me that people have to chose between putting food on the table for their families and getting the care that they need to live, while Hollywood or sporting leagues drop millions on 'the next big thing'. I just don't get it.
I sometimes have to choose between gas in the car to get to work or food on my table. We've eaten cereal for dinner more nights than I'd like to admit. The ONLY reason I have a job is for the health insurance - which I pay $450 per month for out of my paycheck (do you hear that teachers?). I actually lose money each month by going to work but I refuse to not have health insurance for my family. I've been there, I've had the broken bone that I refused to have repaird due to not wanting another bill I couldn't pay, I've been homeless, and I've been DENIED medical assistance and food stamps when I was. To not start a political debate though, you are correct there are ways to help fix the health care system, we just need folks who can do the right thing and not just cover their ass to stand up and make some changes.
I don't want to start an argument in your comment thread because this is an issue that I feel so strongly about I've had to stop reading the news about it. It makes me so angry and stabby I can barely stand it. Anyhow, what I came to say is that I agree with you 3000% and I lament the ridiculous game Congress and The President has been playing over this issue.
Amen! I lived for 2 years as a pre-teen without insurance and I saw the fear in my parents eyes every time I so much as sneezed. By the grace of God, my family never had a medical issue during those 2 years but I know the fear they had to have been going through when my son had a medical scare during the summer. I have insurance but every time I got a bill for an MRI here, or sedation there, I knew that without insurance my family would be beyond bankrupt. And just this year, our deductible was raised AGAIN and my monthly premium was raised AGAIN. If something doesn't change, in 2 years we won't be able to afford our insurance.
I've been lucky enough to have insurance most of my life. But a brief period between being covered by my parents and covered by my own left me with some large medical bills (for a pretty minor thing) that took a while to pay off. And even now - although I have a good job and insurance - my company had to make a change to our insurance to cut costs, adding on a pretty large (for me anyway) deductible. And so for the first time in my life, I find myself thinking twice about getting medical care because of the costs that we can't really afford. It's a terrible feeling. The system is WAY broken.
I agree with you 100%. I get so angry with my friends who are opposed to health care reform. When I was unemployed, there was no affordable option for me to have basic insurance. Why? Makes me so angry.
Love the new design by the way, looks great!
The amount of misinformation out there distorting the issue is staggering. What is unavoidable is that the present system is rigged against the very people it's supposed to serve.
This is heartbreaking. And I think everytime I hear about not changing the system, I'm going to forward this to that person. Starting with my ILs, who get Medicare, and don't want government in their health care.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I didn't know this about your Mom. I'm so sorry.
This post makes me sad. And angry. Sad that she felt that was her only decision; sad that she put her health behind those that had insurance or could pay. Angry that she felt it had to be that way. Breaks my heart.
I agree it's broken. After I resigned from my job with the State when Morgan was born, I lost my health insurance. Jimmy's employer only covered spouses or same sex couples (discrimination, much?). I was without insurance for 30 months. And it SUCKED! We made it work, though. I refused to have any other choice BUT to make it work. I needed a round of bloodwork--that, combined with the follow up doctor visits, brought me a bill of $975. A bill there was NO way I could pay all at once. I paid what I could each month, apologized profusely to the lab and doctor's billing offices, but I did what I could. Trips to the ER or Urgent Care were a last resort; ones that happened when I was in agony from an ear infection or whatever. Those trips would cost us a minimum of $150. Just paying for my birth control out of pocket was $370 for a 3 month supply.
NO ONE should EVER have to not get the medical care they need because they have no insurance or no money. It's just wrong.
Health Care is one issue in this country that makes me cry every time I watch/read too much about the debate. I am a political person and I am someone who works in a non-profit for the public. I recently just got a new job and I have chosen to find Healthcare on my own, because the one from work is just too expensive out of my pocket each month. I make little money to begin with. But I have been without insurance, technically am without it now, and my father is going through a medical issue right now with insurance and it is very draining on the family. When I meet/know/read about people and congressmen who don't want everyone to be covered or don't see why such a broke thing needs fixed all I see is selfishness. I see people who don't know how to invision their life in someone else's shoes and I see people who have never had to worry a day in their life. Health should not be connected to having a job. Everyone deserves the right to care, no matter what. And if we don't fix this problem, you can rest assured that this country is never going to recover from its current problems.
I couldnt agree with you more, it enrages me. Then I sit and watch major network shows & events and every other damn commercial is from Highmark or UPMC. The Superbowl, The Olympics, Pens games, etc. I dont understand! For one thing its not like we actually shop for and choose our health insurance, or at the very least a minority do. Who ever your employer decides is the most economical is who you will be insured by so what the friggin point of all these amazingly expensive ads?!? Who are they marketing to?
Not to mention maybe if they reduced their advertising budgets by a couple million dollars a year my insurance wouldnt cost $450 a month + deductible. To hear anyone say this system works makes me wonder about their sanity. I dont know what the answer is either, but I do know its not a bunch of bureaucratic nonsense that isnt going to help me out at all. I feel like they assume we are stupid. If they keep showing us all these pretty pictures and ways these places are "helping" our communities we will just continue to pay. That very well may be true, but we arent continuing to pay due to some undying love for insurance companies, its because we cant afford NOT to pay their ridiculous bills...the consequences are much worse no matter how you look at it.
AND they dont pay any taxes?!?!? Non-Profit my ass...
It's stories like these that the people in charge of HCR need to hear. The people who think that "everyone has access to healthcare because they can go to the emergency room." Heartbreaking and so very unfair. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry because it didn't have to happen. It shouldn't have happened.
i hate that you have such stories to share.
That's heartbreaking. And others who have written above are right-stories like this need to get out there. People should not be afraid to get treatment they need because of the cost.
My husband's mom died when he was 16 of breast cancer for almost the same reason. She found the lump and wouldn't go because of fear and also because of the cost. His Dad was self-employed and insurance was not the best-in fact-when she finally went and sought treatment-the insurance dropped them-even though the premium was paid. All her treatment was out of pocket. She fought for years-I am not even sure how the family paid for it.
You are right. People should not have to make a decision about needed treatment based on finances.
I'm so sorry that you and your family had to endure that. My mom is currently without health insurance and it takes A LOT to convince her to go to the doctor and worry about the bills later. Like you, I worry that one of these days it will be too late before she goes. Something does have to change.
Yeah. Something has to be done and for reasons just like this...I could go on and on and on about it, but your hurt and pain...Yeah..that tells the whole story. Right there. Stop arguing and get some kind of reform!
Oh, this is such a sad story, and makes me so angry...I live in MA where health insurance coverage is mandatory, and even thought that is 'supposed' to ensure that everyone has insurance, it is ridiculously expensive if you have to pay through the state and you get fined if you don't have it. Shameful. I agree with a previous poster that I'd work and lose some money each month if it mean having insurance.
I wish this story had a happier ending.
I am with Mattie. The system is broken, but I can't read any more. I love Obama but I feel disapointed he hasn't fought hard enough, I am disapointed that the GOP are pulling politics as usual, I am disapointed in the American public for not recognizing this as our next biggest threat after energy. It's all so frustrating I have completely shut down.
I agree 100%!!! I don't know how to fix it either. All I know is my mom will be losing her COBRA care in April and she makes too much money for gov't assistance, but too little to pay for insurance herself since she has a heart condition. My sister is working on trying to find a solution that doesn't cost $600 a month, but you are right, she shouldn't have to worry about that. She should be able to get care at a reasonable price.
I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I can't imagine ever being in such a position. I hope that things in Washington will progress and that no one will ever again have to choose to ignore their health issues due to lack of medical coverage.
*HUGS*
That's devastating.
Dbd lost him mom to breast cancer at age 20.
xoxo
supah
Well...the first step to recovery is that you have to admit that you have a problem. However, the ones who MUST admit they have a problem will never do it. They never take responsibility for anything. They would rather blame others and spread fiction to the sheeple.
This may motivate me to write up a health care / political post. And you know how much I hate that.
So sorry for your loss. :(
I grew up without healthcare after my stepdad lost his job at a factory after he tried (and failed) to start a union. He took a bunch of menial jobs and is now working as a manager at a cigarette store. My mom has never really worked much (she was a SAHM until all the kids were out of the house, then she worked for a couple of years till walmart pissed her off, and she told them she went 25 years without a job - she can do it again).
I loved when I was in college though - the oncampus health care was so cheap & if I got sick (which luckily was almost never), I could put the bill on my student account and pay for it later. They even had gynecological care, if needed. The only thing they didn't have was dental care, which I would have hit that up.
I never had real insurance until I got married. I still don't have a family doctor, and my ob/gyn's office merged with another and I don't really care how they are now. I don't have dental care, and I know I have cavities I need to take care of, but at $100 per cavity, it's something that I have to do a bit at a time. My parents still don't have insurance, and they both smoke like crazy. Both of my stepdad's parents died of lung cancer (from smoking) and I really hate to think of my parents suffering the same way. Every time I look at my mom, I feel saddened because all of her teeth are rotting & falling out - I wish I knew of some kind of program for her to get her teeth fixed at least. *sigh*
#1-So, so sorry about your mom.
#2-I agree, things need to change, have needed to change.
Heartbreaking. Truly heartbreaking.
Unfortunately, alot of people have health insurance through their employers and don't have a clue to the problem out there.
I didn't, Until my husband passed away. I went to Dr. about a month after he died. I was going through a rough time so the Dr. gave me prozac. I think I took it for a month or two. Never did get another rx for it.
Fast forward three years. I get a job that doesn't include health insurance. I think, no problem, I'll just pay for my own.
I fill out the paperwork. THey deny me. Why? Because I have a history of depression!!! I thinking wtf? I call and tell told me in 2003 I took prozac.
Yes people, I was depressed. My 49 year old husband dropped dead in my kitchen. Leaving me to put two kids through school myself. I was a stay at home mom for 15 years with a masters degree that I earned in the 70's that is pretty useless. I was scared out of my wits wondering how I was going to afford mortgage, etc....with no job skills.
And for that they feel justified charging me over a week worth of my monthly salary for covering me alone. My kids would have put it at half my monthly salary.
How do they sleep at night? Really, I want to know.
My blood rises just writing this comment. But you know what the Republicans will say. That It was your moms fault. Why didn't she just get a job offering health benefits. She must have been lazy. Or my favorite, That is not the truth. No one would not go to the Dr. when they are sick. They all go and have us pay for it. And we are tired of paying for lazy good for nothings who refuse to help themselves.
Good post. Now I have to go and settle myself down a little.
So sorry to hear about your mom. It brought tears to my eyes because I lost my mom to ovarian cancer 3 1/2 years ago a month after my daughter was born. I was 31. I can't imagine 19.
I totally agree with your post. My husband's insurance is raising their rates by 40 (4-0!) percent, so they are shopping around. We took my daughter to Children's Mercy Urgent Care a couple weeks ago after she fell and gashed her chin open on our cement steps. It was debateable whether she would need stitches. We were there for 4 1/2 hours. Of that 4 1/2 hours we saw the nurses a total of 15 (at most) minutes and the doctor less than five. She didn't end up needing stitches. The bill was $592. They cleaned the wound, put some numbing gel on it in case she needed stitches, the doctor looked at it, decided she didn't need stitches, put some Neosporin, gauze and tape on it and sent us home. $592. And that was MINOR!
I hope somebody figures something out!
I'm Canadian so while our system isn't perfect, at least my parents never had to FEAR having to take us to the doctor or the emergency room. I'm so grateful to live in a country where I can go to the doctor when things aren't working right and get the help I need without worrying about how I'm going to pay for it (becaue I definitely couldn't afford it). I applaud your blog post and think many people can relate to it, even if they aren't American.
Oh girl...you know where I come down on this. I wrote a post about it when I had hope that things would change. It saddens me that I no longer have that hope.
Bottom line is that insurance companies make big money, and no one, including Washington has the guts to take them down.
I am in the same camp as Greeblemonkey...you are right, and it makes me sad:(
Oh, I am so with you on this one hon. I still have bills from college on my credit report. I have a chronic infection but had no insurance back then. A UTI can set you back upwards of $500 if you're uninsured. When all they do is have you pee in a cup and then they spend 30 seconds looking at it under a microscope. Then there's the expensive prescriptions on top of that.
Also of note, when I got salmonella, we had AMAZING insurance. Yet, the whole deal still ended up costing me about $2500.
People in the richest country in the world shouldn't be afraid to get sick because it may cause them financial ruin. There's something wholly wrong with that. People who don't think it's a problem either never go to the doctor or are rich enough to not care.
Today I read the newest blog post from a mom of a 5 year old with developmental delays. Suddenly, their insurance company dropped coverage for their son's speech therapy. The mom responded by saying that physical effects from his congenital condition necessitate the therapy...and cited the portion of the insurance plan that is supposed to cover exactly that.
Their response? Since his genetic condition was not diagnosed until he was 2, it is not considered congenital. That right there has made health care a whole hell of a lot more important to me. Insurance companies are disgusting. I've seen public health care in Germany and it works. This doesn't. I don't know what the best plan is but it is SOMETHING.
I am so grateful for the Student Health Center here at Pitt. I would be pretty screwed without them.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom; I'm sure its even more difficult having a child you want to share with her and she would have loved being a grandma to. I believe the healthcare system needs a fix but I don't think anyone knows where to start. It's a vicious circle of expensive care, to cover the doctors liability insurance in our sue happy society, to insurance companies needing to cover their costs the doctors charge and wanting to be a for profit company - they're not a non profit organization and like all companies, want to make a profit. You can't hold that against them, it's not something they hide. Insurance was intended for emergency situations,an in-case-the-unexpected-comes-up, not to rely on to pay for every visit to the doctor. Unfortunately, many of us, me included, have come to depend on the coverage we can get. I'm very concerned about the government stepping in, making way too much red tape for everything, the waste that always comes with government run anything and taking the choices we have away.
@Deb,
Insurance was intended for emergency situations, as in-case-the-unexpected-comes-up.
Really???
So, if that baby was unexpected, it's paid for. If you planned to get pregnant and have a baby, get out the check book?
I think I trust the Government way more than I trust Insurance companies. Now that's saying something about how I feel about my health insurer.
I really want to know how they sleep at night. Prob. taking sleeping pills covered under their great insurance plans.
I'm so sorry to hear that that is how you lost your mom. What a shame.
I say a big AMEN to your post. I get so upset thinking about the current healthcare situation and the lack of changes being made. It's ridiculous. The people who need coverage the most are often the ones who are dropped, as others have reported in these comments.
IMO, it should be like education. Every child in our country has the right to an education, and in fact has to go to school; and public schools are provided and held to certain standards. Well, why doesn't every person in our country have the right to healthcare? Why isn't everyone provided access to the healthcare they need, either privately or by the government held to certain standards? I just don't get it.