Day Two Hundred Ninety-Nine

I often complain that there are definitely things missing from the manuals that the girls should have come with. Am I supposed to understand why I constantly have to explain to Mila that we don't lick walls? I don't think I am. I do wish there was some sort of instruction manual for that kid, though.

Other things that aren't in my parenting manual include how to deal with dance moms, explaining how some so-called "friends" can be so mean, how to find shoes in something less than 30 minutes, and a global pandemic.

There are definitely no instructions for dealing with a global pandemic.

Even worse, there are no freakin instructions for explaining an attempted coup.

Alexis is old enough to have her own world view. She has watched videos and done the research and whatever. She's fine. She's tired of living through a full chapter of a history book on a daily basis, but she's still fine.

Mila, though.

Mila has heard way too many conversations and inadvertently seen way too much news because Mila has decided that "the bad guys broke into the government and tried to hurt people." I mean, she's not wrong on any of those accounts but HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THESE THINGS TO SIX-YEAR OLDS?

I would very much so like to return to a world where politics are boring and my biggest parenting challenges are around licking walls.

Day Two Hundred Ninety-Eight

I realize I sound like a broken record, but I am continuously amazed at how very different the girls are. I've known it since Mila was old enough to glare with disapproval that she is an ENTIRELY different human than Alexis.

They're both pretty fantastic in thier own ways, but I guarantee only one of them is going to bring me to tears during the teen years.

It's not Alexis.

In 15 days, Alexis will turn 15 years old. There is still plenty of time for her to decide that I am the dumbest human on earth. She certainly has her moments, but overall, she's a really good kid and a surprisingly pleasant teen. A good part of it is that she walks with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She worries far too much what people think, and my opinion is very highly regarded from where she's sitting.

That is why she can't break rules, at least not without feeling awful about it for months afterwards.

And then there's Mila.

A free spirit who delivers a party to every room she enters, Mila really only cares about getting what she wants. My opinion is irrelevant because she has her own. Period.

That's how it started. Mila had an opinion about dessert and she was ready to skip right on over dinner to get to it. It didn't matter what was on her plate, she wanted a brownie. The end. And so, it was a battle. I kept telling her she had to finish her very tiny biscuit (truly, it was a reasonable request - I am not a member of the "clean your plate" club, but I am a member of the "eat at least something" club). She kept arguing that she was full. I'd immediately retorted that if she was too full to eat her dinner, she was too full for dessert and around and around we went.

I was not willing to back down. Mila needed to eat her literal two bites of biscuit.

Eventually she stopped arguing and grew quiet. And then, she declared that she was done. I glanced at her plate and confirmed the status of her biscuit. It was gone, so I reached across the table to hand her a brownie.

Mila legit opened up her tiny balled fist, dropped the biscuit SHE HAD NOT FINISHED AFTER ALL on her plate, and reached for the brownie. She seriously was stunned that I noticed her little shenanigans and even more stunned that I was OH HELL NO about the brownie.

There was no guilt, though. Just annoyance and frustration.

The teen years are going to be ROUGH.

Day Two Hundred Ninety-Seven

Remember eating out? Safely?

THAT WAS FUN.

We'll do it again eventually, but in the meantime I'm dreaming of Japanese Hibachi and sitting at a table with strangers and hahahahaha...sob.

Here's a recipe for Hibachi-style noodles. They turn out REALLY good and don't come with a side of global pandemic. Enjoy!

Japanese Hibachi Style Noodles (On the Cheap)

1/2 box spaghetti, cooked according to package directions
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons sesame oil
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 tablespoon sesame seeds (check the spice aisle -- they're buried with the small bottles of spices)
Soy sauce to taste

1. Cook the spaghetti. I know I told you to do that in the ingredients list, but I'm just making sure we're clear. Cook it, drain it, blah, blah, blah.

2. Toss the butter in the largest skillet you own. Heat it over medium high heat until it starts to melt then throw in the spaghetti. Toss in the sesame oil, garlic, and rice vinegar while you're at it.

3. Flip and stir those noodles every few seconds to prevent burning. Cook them for about 5 minutes, then add the soy sauce and sesame seeds. By the way, I end up using about 1/4 cup of soy sauce, but you may want to use more. I currently am in sodium avoidance mode.

4. That's it. Seriously. Kind of crazy how easy they are, right?

(FYI--the vegetables and tofu are also fried in a pan with the same ingredients. Just leave the sesame seeds out that time.)