Day Two Hundred Twenty-Seven

On the eve of what is most certainly the most important election of my lifetime, I'm going to COMPLETELY change the subject and talk about nothingness. I've done that a lot for the past several years, primarily to preserve my own mental health. See, the hardest thing about this election and the last is that with every passing day, I observe more and more evidence that there are a lot of people I care about who are willing to do incredible mental gymnastics in order to justify their racism.

But make no mistake. It's racism. I see it.

So rather than write about those mental gymnastics, I'm going to change the subject. It's to distract myself from the audacity and awfulness around us. Maybe you need the distraction, too.

But ... know this. I will write about it eventually. We can't learn from the mistakes of the past if we don't look around and see our mistakes today. I need the girls to understand that those mistakes are all around them and being committed by people who claim to love their neighbors, even as they actively harm those neighbors. Just not yet.

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HALLOWEEN 2020 WAS SO WEIRD.

First of all, let me go ahead and acknowledge that my head wasn't in the game this year. Normally I am able to encourage an extremely productive conversation or fifty around costumes, which always leads to epicness. I mean, this? So good.

All of their past costumes have been good.

This year the girls agreed to be villains. Harley Quinn settled on her plan suuuuuuper early and quickly and we can all go ahead and acknowledge that everything about Mila being Harley Quinn makes sense? It's her destiny.

Alexis as Catwoman was a twist, though.

But here's the real twist. Alexis had an alternate costume because of dance. They dress up for every class during Halloween week, which means she had 5 costumes total, but the theme they went with for Thursday was AMAZING. Her dance team is almost all seniors in high school, so they were senior citizens.

I don't have any photos, but Grandma Alexis. It happened. And it was AMAZING. The grey hair. The housecoat. The cane. The bag of Werther's. It was all so good.

I'll get her to wear it again. There will be photos next time.

ANYWAY. Back to Catwoman and Harley Quinn. They did go trick-or-treating, albeit while wearing masks. I somewhat expected our neighborhood to be it's usual party because we are surrounded by people who think COVID is a hoax (I wish I were kidding), but was pleasantly surprised to learn that most people decided to take the safe route. Lots and lots of houses weren't handing out candy, but the majority of those that were did so while practicing social distancing.

For our part, we skipped houses that weren't doing self-service candy, and we extra skipped any that had people not wearing masks. As in, I had to literally tell the girls at every single one that it was okay to skip the house. It drove Alexis nuts because Miss Empathy felt bad that she might be making the homeowner feel bad but WHATEVER. If you don't wear a mask while interacting with the public during a global pandemic, you should probably expect that some people are going to skip you.

We only hit about 1/3 of the neighborhood and a fraction of the houses within, but it was okay! Because I had lots of candy at home!

I did the thing where I hid candy around the house, turned out the lights, and let the girls hunt for the candy with flashlights. And let me tell you, we will now be doing it every single year because OH HELL YEAH. Haunted House rules applied, which meant I got to sneak around and hide behind things and scare the crap out of the girls. The highlight was when I knelt behind the kitchen table, popped up and simply said, "HI!" and Alexis jumped so high she fell to the floor.

It was pretty amazing.

And Mila is still reporting that it was the most fun ever because being scared when you know you're going to be scared is hilarious. This is the kid who laughed in my face every single time I made her scream. Some day I'm going to take her to a haunted house and we're going to have the BEST time.

So it was weird. Normally I encourage the girls to run around like feral beasts and I do ... well, barely more than nothing. This year I had to put more effort into things, but it was a whole lot more fun.

And the candy is all stuff I bought, so it's exactly the candy I want to eat. That's going to come in REAL handy as I stress-eat my way through the election.

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Six

I'm reposting this recipe for the simple fact that I haven't eaten inside a restaurant in over 8 months and I bet it will be AT LEAST another 8 more. I can't honestly say that I miss Mad Mex, but maybe I miss real Mexican? Yes, I definitely miss real Mexican.

ANYWAY, I was thinking about the fact that sitting indoors without a mask and breathing in the same air as other people sounds terrible when I remembered that I for reals love the vegetarian Gobblerito. I can't get it in a restaurant anyway, so let's go. Let's start making Thanksgiving food now.

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GOBBLERITO! GOBBLERITO! GOBBLERITO!

For a month now, I swear that one word has taken over my social media feeds. Here, there, EVERYWHERE, people were talking about going to Mad Mex for a Gobblerito.

You guys, I was starting to feel left out. So I made my own vegetarian version. TAKE THAT, OMNIVORES.

If you aren't from Pittsburgh, you're probably totally lost at this point. Let me back up and explain. Mad Mex is a (not really) Mexican restaurant chain around these parts. Every year they celebrate Thanksgiving by bastardizing a burrito with all of the stuff you usually find stuffed into bowls the day after Thanksgiving. It's the most genius use for leftovers ever.

I didn't wait for leftovers.

You don't have to make it vegetarian. This is me not caring about whether you partake in the animal eating or not, but rather just saying GO MAKE A GOBBLERITO.

They're totally worth the hype.

Gobblerito

Flour tortillas
Turkey or Tofurkey
Stuffing
Mashed potatoes
Gravy
Cranberry Sauce

This is not much of a recipe, but much more of a concoction. A GENIUS concoction, that is.

1. Start by heating up your tortilla.

2. Throw a handful of turkey or tofurkey pieces on top.

3. Stuffing time.

4. Mashed potatoes and gravy, please. (Mad Mex throws some corn in there, too. Personally, I don't think the corn adds anything. GIVE ME MORE MASHED POTATOES, PLEASE.)

5. If you're brave, throw the cranberries in the burrito. If you're not, start folding that burrito and leave the cranberries for the side. Fold up the bottom.

6. Fold over one side and tuck it in all snug next to the good stuff.

7. Fold the other side over.

8. Throw some other food on your plate to make it look like you are fancy and stuff.

9. Wonder why the pilgrims didn't do it that way in the first place. The Gobblerito is a mighty efficient invention that makes Thanksgiving a hands on event.

As it should be.

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Five