Alarming Behavior

Let's review Mila's sleep history. It'll be real quick.

She started out as THE BEST BABY EVER OMG. She was a rock star about sleeping in her crib and she slept long periods of time and it was amazing and fantastic and all of that. Basically, she was perfect. Don't even get jealous about that because that other kid was the absolute worst and the universe owed me a perfect sleeper.

And then when Mila was two years old, the Penguins made the playoffs. I didn't want to miss any part of the games so instead of putting Mila in her crib and waiting for her to fall asleep, I started letting her fall asleep in my lap on the couch. Near a TV. Basically, I broke her. It lasted ...

... Forever.

Laying on my lap on the couch has been her preferred way of falling asleep ever since. FIVE YEARS. For five years, the kid has really very rarely slept in her own bed because she falls asleep in my lap and then verifies that I'm still near by every few hours all night long. She has managed to sleep in her own bed one night to earn a pet hamster and maybe two or three other times? It probably isn't that many times. It's probably just the once because she wanted the hamster.

It's completely my fault. I'm mostly okay with it. I fought the other kid tooth and nail over sleeping more than two consecutive hours so I'm all out of fight when it comes to sleep. Mila can do whatever she wants whenever she wants just so long as she sleeps each night. That alone makes her better than her sister, so yeah. Whatever.

Guess who magically started sleeping in her own bed last week. GO AHEAD. GUESS.

Not Alexis. She's still the worst sleeper of all time.

Mila, though. Mila got the brilliant idea that she needed an alarm for school. She figured out how to tell Alexa to set an alarm on her little Amazon speaker and Y'ALL. SHE HAS SLEPT IN HER OWN BED ALL NIGHT EVERY NIGHT SINCE. It's been over a week.

FOR AN ALARM. She was willing to change her ways FOR AN ALARM.

If ever there was a backwards kid who does everything the opposite of the rest of us, it's Mila. I'm over here doing whatever I can to avoid having to set an alarm, and here Mila is turning her whole life around for the privilege of having a speaker beep at her early in the morning.

So weird.