Anger Issues. I Have Them. I WONDER WHY?
I have spent the better part of the past week angry ... just ANGRY. Let me be the first to admit, it's not because of the fruit flies but OMG THE MOTHER TRUCKIN' FRUIT FLIES.
Somehow we've generally dodged that brand of insanity. There is always ALWAYS fresh fruit in our house, but we go through it too fast for the fruit flies to find it. Every once in a while I'll see one or two, but NOT ANYMORE. I bought some mandarin oranges for Mila this weekend and apparently they were infested with the entire population of Fruit Fly-landia because OMG STAAAHP.
Nothing says 2018 quite like some useless irritants seeing something sitting there all innocent and helpless and being like, "I can take some of that. It is mine. I am entitled to it because I am a mighty fruit fly!" There are so many entitled little jerk fruit flies in our kitchen.
I spent way too much time scrubbing the kitchen from top to bottom this weekend in an effort to get rid of them. Then I escalated to the water/vinegar trick, and then came this morning. Oh, this morning.
I'm not proud of what I did. The good news is that I had to make do with a vacuum cleaner instead of the flame thrower that I really wanted.
Did you know that you can suck up fruit flies with a vacuum? YOU TOTALLY CAN! I'm sure I looked mighty "interesting" as I stood in the middle of the kitchen brandishing the vacuum wand as if it were a sword. Those little mother truckers are quick, but I AM QUICKER. You think you can just help yourself to that innocent fruit? NOT ON MY WATCH, MOTHER TRUCKERS.
Ahem.
I caught seven of them with the vacuum. I win.
But, there are still a few left. They're flying around, trying to take that which does not belong to them, acting as if they should be able to have whatever they want just because they're a member of the Allegedly Cool But Actually Very Loser-ish Club. It leaves me with one choice. Do fruit flies like beer? I seem to remember that they like beer. TIME TO DROWN IN YOUR OWN ENTITLEMENT, MOTHER TRUCKERS.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Reader Comments (3)
Yes! They love beer!!!! And stale wine.
Don’t ask me why I know. Just believe me
I have fruit flies too! They're nowhere near my fruit, though. They live strictly inside my sink drain and they stay dormant until I turn the water on and then they all fly up out of the drain at me. Vinegar down the drain hasn't helped... Yet. I literally have "gallon of vinegar" on my shopping list today.
Make a trap. Use a glass jar. Put a spoonful of jelly in the bottom of the jar. Make a paper cone and put the cone in the jar (narrow side pointing down) the fruit flies go in the jar for the jelly and then aren't smart enough to fly back out thru the tiny opening they flew in.
Sounds simple and weird but it works every time for us.