Baffling Things

There are a lot of things I wasn't prepared for when it comes to parenting. High on the list is OMG WHY DOES IT TAKE KIDS SO LONG TO LEAVE? Mila's current get-dressed-and-go-out-the-door pace is about ... an hour. If I'm lucky. Just getting from the couch (fully dressed!) to the door can take her an hour because did you know there are reasons to stop every three steps? The chair needs to be pushed in. Mila's shoes need to be adjusted. Her socks slipped down. The bathroom door isn't closed right. She forgot her toy back when she was pushing in the chair. AND THAT'S JUST TO GET FOUR FEET FROM THE COUCH.

It's exhausting. I say, "FOCUS, PLEASE!" in a very shrill voice about 139587130498 times per day. Can you imagine if I weren't constantly pushing things along? We'd all be dead by the time Mila got to school.

In other baffling Mila news, I wasn't prepared for the incessant, "I WANT MOMMYYYYYYY." Mila says it often and in the whiniest voice you've ever heard. It's like shards of glassing stabbing my ears when she does because I AM RIGHT HERE. She nearly always says it while touching me.

Like, if Mila is a dash and I'm a dot, we're like this ---------------.-------------------. She's on me like white on rice. Like the cookie part of an Oreo smashing the cream. She is LITERALLY wrapped around my little finger, toe, leg, and head. She can't get closer. She's on me! She's touching me!

But she wants me!

To ...? I don't know. It's one of those things I will never understand.