Changing All Of The Things
I'd like to say I planned to eliminate all of the suck from life in fell swoop, but the reality is I had planned to let the daycare suck go for a bit. Mila has been in daycare since I returned to work nine months ago, and it has always been just a little off.
Nothing major.
But ... off.
I couldn't really complain when they couldn't get her to every take milk. I mean, you can't force a baby to eat. Yet, it seemed off that she would only take 1-2 ounces at daycare, but then would take 6-8 from the husband. It hasn't really mattered for a few months since Mila is a most excellent eater of all things solid. Still. Weird.
There were other things, too, but the one that was more than just a little bit "off" was that daycare moved Mila to the one year-old room a month before her birthday. That alone wasn't a problem, but the fact that she isn't walking yet sort of is. They moved her into a room full of kids that are walking, which meant she was the only "baby" in a room full of toddlers. It was done for ratio issues, but nobody would just say that. Instead, I received lecture after lecture about how Miss Mila was ready to move.
She wasn't.
That became really evident on the second day when Mila sobbed at drop-off. She has always been happy to arrive at daycare, so it was startling to see her suddenly not happy about being there.
But that wasn't what convinced me to make the move immediately. And I do mean "immediately." I fully intended to leave her at that daycare until school lets out in June, but instead she was there on a Thursday and then just never returned.
That happened because of Alexis. It turns out that having a big sister who goes to the same daycare after school is a lot like having a second set of eyes. Sometimes that second set of eyes doesn't know she's telling you something really important, but you're glad she is.
Alexis never stops talking on the way to and from gymnastics. On that particular Thursday, she was giving me a play-by-play of her hour at daycare. It was during that hour that she was playing outside and glanced over to the toddler area and saw that Mila was outside as well. Miss Mila was crawling around in the enclosed area, happily checking out things to and fro. The enclosed area happens to have a floor of sorts. It's a black mat made out of a rubbery material, which is perfectly for little ones who tend to bounce to the ground on occasion.
But black rubber gets hot.
Alexis reported that she saw Mila crawling around in the shade, but then suddenly she took a turn towards the hot sun. As she was headed to the Not So Safe Zone, a teacher called after her to stop. And kept calling. And kept calling.
The teacher didn't stand up and stop the 11 month-old from doing something dangerous.
Which means that Mila crawled over where it was hot, burned her knees (nothing serious, but still), and then sat in the corner crying.
And no grown-ups intervened.
Alexis told the story from the perspective of thinking it was a little weird. She reported that she knows that sometimes I tell Mila "no" but don't actually physically stop her, but it's when she's doing something messy like playing with her water. Alexis knew there was something off about her story, but she didn't fully catch that it was a safety issue.
Which is fine. Alexis has time to figure these things out. I do expect adults working at a daycare to know the difference, though.
Thus, I very suddenly managed to find a new daycare. So far, everything is better. There's nothing like changing all of the things all at once.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Reader Comments (7)
You can't take chances on those kind of things, you have to follow your instincts, which you did. I hope your new daycare is better. Being worried about your child all day is the worst feeling in the world.
Humans make mistakes. As long as the people who work at the daycare CARE about the wellbeing above all else, then mistakes can be forgiven. When the well-being of the kids is not the highest priority, then it's time to leave. Good move.
Good call, smart lady. I'm glad things are going well now. And yes, changing all of the things at once seems to be how things happen.
The Ex and Stepmom and I are bending over backwards this summer so the girls (11 and 9 - when did that happen?!) don't have to go to our daycare that sounds alarmingly like your old daycare. Nothing motivates a parent like safety issues and their kiddos. Fingers crossed the new one works out!
Good for you and sending good vibes for the new daycare situation. Calling an 11 month old and expecting results, really? REALLY??? I'm so glad that Alexis was there and in roundabout reporting brought it to your attention. Here's hoping the new place is focused on the kids and caring for them!
My kid, now nearly 12, went to an at-home daycare for almost 5 years of her life. Although I have no doubt my husband's second/third (?) cousin cared for my child as she did for all the children, I questioned the attention my kid received. One day, I arrived early, and found my 4-3/4-year-old coloring a picture on the cousin's porch. Alone. In a city neighborhood. I am sure for some parents who are much less helicoptering than I was, that would be fine. But cousin knew how I was.
I sat out there with my child for over 10 minutes. During this time (I had to go back and check my blog), a UPS guy showed up, which caused the dogs to bark, and a bee swarmed around my kid, who shrieked. Cousin finally came outside, saying she was looking for an address. Unfortunately, I did not have the guts to say anything (sad, I know). But also I knew my kid would not be going there too much longer.
So glad you found someplace else, and so sorry that happened to you. But, yeah, Alexis. Who knows what else I missed!
You are right to trust your instincts. We had a similar issue at the very first daycare we tried. In the beginning all seemed above board - I liked to arrive early to talk to the teacher and observe quietly outside the window for a few minutes. They welcomed this the first week and also said I would be able to monitor my daughter online. I was thrilled and my little one seemed happy. By the time 4 months rolled around it was a whole different story - the teacher routinely arrived 60+ minutes late and I was uncomfortable leaving my child with 12 other wee ones and only 1 helper. I expressed my concerns and also asked why the online monitoring was no longer accessible. They said it was normal for teachers to arrive late as they often stayed late. Strange answer but I sort of understood. They also sad the monitoring software was being repaired but 2 weeks later they changed their answer saying it was an add on feature that I needed to pay extra for if I wanted to use it. What?!!!! Red flag for sure but still I ignored it. What I couldn't ignore was when my daughter started screaming at drop-off - something she never did before. That day was our final day and good thing too because at pick-up up my daughter had her diaper on backwards and gum in her hair!
Go Alexis - for noticing all the things - what a fantastic big sister Mila has in her. : ).