Confident is Beautiful

If I had it to do all over again, Mila would have a different middle name. Her middle name should be "Delay" because that's what she causes. She delays my ability to get all sorts of things done. She's a wonderful, fantastic magical little delay.

That's why I haven't accepted many photo shoots lately. As much as I love photographing people, I know that there will be a delay in getting the finished images back to clients. I have to be picky for the sake of everyone involved.

I've been doing an amazing job picking who to work with the past few months. I know that because I've been incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with some amazing people.

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Something was off. I knew what it was, so after a few minutes, I finally spoke up.

"Would you like to try a few photos without your sunglasses?" I asked.

I was standing atop a hill in the middle of Nowheresville, PA at the intersection of A Family Filled With Love and Time Is A Cruel Monster. Five generations were posed in front of me, a conscious nod to the fact that soon there would be but four. One woman was nearing the end of her journey on earth and preparing to start another. She was a daughter, a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother. But not for much longer. At least not in that body.

I could see it. I could see the weight of the knowledge that her journey was ending. It was in the way she held her hands, the way she kept her chin tucked, and it was especially evident in the way she was hiding behind a pair of dark sunglasses.

I had caught a glimpse, so I knew the sunglasses were hiding more than the knowledge that time was slipping away. The treatments that were gifting her a few additional days were charging a price. That price was two healthy eyes. Her right eye was completely swollen shut.

Oh, I can't do that," she replied to my request. She pulled the sunglasses down so she could show me her reason. She tried to explain that the sunglasses were important to her, but I'm not very good at respecting my elders. I interrupted.

"I think you should try a few shots without the sunglasses. Just because," I urged.

She continued to decline.

"You know," I countered, "I can work some magic in Photoshop and fix it. It will take me a while, but I can do it."

She thought for a second, but it was a very short second. Worry and apprehension melted from her face. She took off the sunglasses, smiled with every inch of her gorgeous face, and said, "OK!"

In that moment, she was a different person. Worry and apprehension and the weight of knowing fell away and she was free to be that person she wanted to be. In her mind, she saw the image of herself that she wanted to see, the healthier version.

But.

But it made me think about how I behave when I'm on the other side of the camera. Seeing that even with the imperfect eye she was so incredibly beautiful when she let go and just smiled made me think about how self-conscious I sometimes am with photos.

Perhaps we all need to smile as if Photoshop is going to fix whatever it is that bothers us. It's when we let go and show our true selves that we are most beautiful.

Comments

[Kassandra]

Thanks for this post, so much. My grandmother is nearing that point very quickly and I so desperately want to get photos with her done of our 4 generations (grandma, mom, me, little) but am meeting a HUGE brick wall in mom who is all self conscious about cameras. I'm starting to think I just need to get them done and not worry.

[Denise]

Beautiful in every way.

[Mary]

That was a very beautiful post. Thank you.

[hello haha narf]

i love that you were able to gift them with your ability to convince people how beautiful they are.
wonderful reminder post, too...