Day Ninety-One

There are a million more important things that I should write about, but sometimes the Tiny Human goes crashing through life swinging a baseball bat and I have to make sure I document it. While Alexis is absolutely the kid who I have entrusted to make sure I spend my final days at a good nursing home, what if Mila is still living with us then? What if she ends up being in charge? I need her to remember that she owes me.

You owe me, Mila.

At precisely YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME O'CLOCK, I was reminded that Mila seriously is never going to sleep in her own bed by herself. Never ever. She did it that one time so she could get a pet hamster, but other than that, it hasn't happened since she was barely able to walk. Five years? I think maybe it's been five years. Most of the time it's totally fine because Mila is the ultimate co-sleeper. She snuggles without smothering. She stays still. She doesn't steal blankets. She doesn't snore or kick. She's just ... comfy.

UNTIL SHE ISN'T.

4:30. It was 4:30 when she shrieked, "MOMMY!" at the top of her lungs. Little Miss Mila had a nightmare and she was genuinely scared. She didn't want to talk about it, which was kind of fine because I had only gone to bed 2 1/2 hours earlier.

Look, global pandemics make me more of a night owl. That's just how it is. It wouldn't be a problem if tiny people didn't wake me up at 4:30, you know.

ANYWAY. Mila shrieked, was scared, but didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted to scream and cry. Loudly. A lot. I tried reasoning with her and talking her down and all sorts of things, even going so far as to turn on the lights, but nothing worked. The poor kid was scared and sad and she couldn't figure out how to change her moment.

I did what anyone who was trying to function on 2 1/2 hours of sleep would do - I logged into Disney+ and handed her my phone. Mila can ALWAYS find a movie she wants to watch, so she did exactly that. She watched Inside Out while clinging to me for dear life because she was still scared.

I never did manage to fall back asleep. Mila eventually was able ot calm down enough to be human again, but she didn't fall asleep either. Because movie.

And then my alarm went off. It was 6:30 by that point and Mila was just wrapping up her movie. There was a bit of a tussle as I told her she would have to go downstairs to continue her movie spree, but I needed to go get in the shower. It was plenty light outside, so I didn't need to escort her down the stairs. She could get there by herself and she certainly knows how to turn on the TV herself.

But then she took a left.

Mila was supposed to take a right and go down the stairs, but instead she took a left. Less than a minute later, she had crawled up into her sister's loft, snuggled up, AND FELL ASLEEP. THE LITTLE JERK WENT BACK TO SLEEP LIKE *THAT* THE SECOND I HAD TO GET UP FOR THE DAY.

I'm bitter. And tired. Mostly I'm tired because I'm too tired to be really bitter.

Like I said, Mila owes me. I want a nursing home that has crafts daily, Mila YOU OWE ME AT LEAST THAT MUCH.