Don't Do It If You Don't Want Me To Write About It. Ahem.
Alexis turned to me and said, "I have boogies."
"What do you want me to do about it?" I replied. (I know, you wish your mother was as helpful as I am.)
Alexis paused to think for a moment and then readied her finger to go digging for treasure. Sensing what she was about to do, I said, "You know better."
Her face lit up with a mischievous grin and she quickly went in for the kill.
"Ewwww!" I said.
Alexis broke out in hysterical laughter as her finger emerged with a booger so big it should probably get its own zip code. Without even thinking about it, she shoved it in her mouth, undoubtedly because she knew it would get a reaction from me.
"Did you just eat that?" I asked, my face wrinkled in disgust.
"Yeah!" she replied as she howled with laughter. And howled. And howled. She was so amused by her antics that tears ran down her bright red face. Finally, she paused and stuck her finger back in her mouth. She poked around for a second . . . and another second . . . and another second. Suddenly, panic melted her face.
"Momma! It's stuck!" she cried.
"What's stuck?" I asked.
"The boogie is stuck in my teeth," she wailed. The smile had been wiped from her face and genuine panic and disgust had replaced it.
I tried not to laugh, but it turns out I'm really mean because I SO totally did.
Alexis started to cry as she frantically tried to dislodge the booger from between her front teeth.
I helped her. Eventually. First, I had to say, "I told you so," about fourteen eleventy bazillion times.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Reader Comments (26)
I /love that picture. Love it.
OMG OMG OMG OMG. I'm gagging and laughing at the same time. OMG!
Oh my. This reinforces my belief that I can't have kids. I wouldn't be able to laugh because I'd be running to the bathroom and gagging the whole entire time.
That. Is. HILARIOUS!
tears...streaming down my face...hubs too. bwhahahahahaaaa!!!
I almost threw up in my mouth a little...
Who knew you gave birth to Spaulding Smales?
So where's the picture? The beaming smile with the boogie wedged in there?
This is the post that will keep her in line when she's a teenager. Just threaten to show it to her dates...
@bluzdude--I HAVE VIDEO! I really do, and I fully intend to save it for a very special day. Woooo!
I laughed because I would do that to my mom all the time. Haha
She, and you, are a freaking riot!
The fact that you have video makes it so much more awesome! Something to accidentally slip in when the boyfriend needs to be driven off way down the line ;-)
E has this awful habit of sucking her thumb and picking her nose at the same time. Thankfully she hasn't decided to take it to the next level yet.
When she is a teenager and starts dating and being a sassy little hormone driven bee-otch from hell, pull out this post and show the boyfriend.
You've struck blackmail pay dirt, honey. ;-)
You knew I would be eating breakfast when I read that. I had to come back to this after I was finished. SO FREAKING FUNNY!!!
EWWW! EWWW! EWWW!
omg...that so made me gag. while laughing. This is soooooo blackmail territory!
Love the snap, so much attitude in that posture. Fourteen eleventy bazillion sounds about the right number of 'told you so's
Flat out Hilarious! A boogie stuck in her teeth. You have brightened my day.
Obviously, I'm a bad mom too, because I'm laughing my butt off at poor Alexis.
The picture is priceless, by the way. Was that her "I'm ignoring you" pose?
@Trinity--It's her "I'm reading about the Olym-pah-lics, so leave me alone" pose. It was later followed by her, "You have to be kidding if you think I'm getting out of your bed" pose. *sigh* ~~Michelle~~
Totally gross, and totally hilarious!
Why is that these kids do things just to gross us out? My girl has been licking me lately! Sometimes, right on the face. So gross. But when I tell her that? It just makes her laugh and do it again.
That is hilarious and wrong on so many levels! I routinely ask my kids, "What do you want me to do about it?" If nothing else, it makes them stop whining for the 2.7 seconds that it takes them to think about my question.
that is so unbelievably gross and hilarious all at once. but the fact that you HELPED her dislodge it, counter acts all "cruelty" from laughing. you win mom of the year!
I am horrified and humored all at the same time-thanks for the laugh
Ummmm....ew!
Hysterical. This is the type of post you pull back out when she starts dating!
Evie told me that "Boogers are like cookies!" the other day. I almost barfed.
LOVE LOVE the picture. :)
I'm 90% sure this is the funniest thing I've read on your site. I loved every second of it.
You need a warning before posting wet-your-pants-worthy stories.
You and your kid are awesomely hilarious!