Don't Eat the Peeps

My children are monsters who expect me to decorate for every little holiday. They have no concern for my (lack of an) attention span. They want decorations NOW. EVERYWHERE. The little one especially is very assertive about her holiday decorating needs.

Alas, I have fully decorated for Easter.

Which means it's that time of year! It's time for me to remind you that PEEPS ARE NOT FOOD.

Is the photo above from this past week? Or is it seven years old? TRICK QUESTION. It might just be both because, no kidding, those Peeps topiaries are STILL going strong. STILL.

Let me remind you how old they are. 2012. I first posted photos of them in 2012. That's more than a Mila ago. I managed to bring an entire human into this world, teach her to walk, and teach her to sing the entire theme song to Gilmore Girls and yet THE PEEPS ARE STILL GOING.

There's a few things you should know. The hot glue didn't necessarily hold up for all of those years. I have had to glue some Peeps back on because while the so-called marshmallows last forever, hot glue has a shelf life, apparently. I've also dropped the topiaries more than a few times. Do you know what happens to old Peeps when you drop them?

THEY SHATTER. LIKE GLASS.

Food isn't supposed to shatter.

My last piece of evidence in the case of The People vs Pees that I've never seen a bug anywhere near the topiaries. Not once. I've had ant invasions numerous years, but never once have they glanced over at the pile of dried out sugar blobs and decided THAT would be delicious. They swarm all over every food crumb Mila leaves behind, but Peeps? NO, THANKS.

Peeps aren't food, you guys. Just back away from them, unless you've got a glue gun all hot and ready.