Faking Friendship When Real Friends Aren't Available
33.8% of parenting is arguing with your kids about eating and sleeping at the times of day that they should be eating or sleeping.
41.9% of parenting is trying to find the other shoe.
24.8% of parenting is wondering when mathing became so difficult. Can we blame this on "new math?"
31.6% of parening is questioning if your kids hear anything you tell them.
98.3% of parenting is hoping your kids hear the important things you tell them.
There's a story that I won't share because 5th graders are entitled to some semblence of privacy. I may be all up in Alexis' business all of the time, but that doesn't mean I have to amplify her business, you know?
The short, approved-for-sharing, version of the tale is that there was a situation and Alexis handled it in a way that was nothing short of an art form. Girlfriend stood her ground and then gave a lesson on responding with grace. It was FANTASTIC. Frankly, I was in awe. Truly.
A few days after the whole thing played out, I asked Alexis a simple question - how did you figure out the right words to make it through that so well? Her answer was to blame me.
SHE BLAMED ME FOR HAVING THE RIGHT WORDS.
Well, technically she said that she tried to think about how *I* would respond and she went with that. Which, could the kid flatter me more? I didn't argue with her at the time, but I did think that she legitimately handled the whole thing better than I ever could have. I ended up telling the kid as much.
The conversation meandered in a few different directions, but at the end of it, Alexis ended up rolling her eyes at me and saying, "MOM, we practice this kind of stuff all of the time! Of course I knew how to handle it!"
So.
Huh.
Things being what they are, I decided it was time that I practice what I preach (Alexis is right - I have made her practice simular situations). I practiced what I would say if I were to bear witness to a particular type of situation. You can go ahead and fill in the blanks as you see fit, but I decided that my goal would follow three easy steps:
1. Engage. Loudly say, "Hey! I can't believe I'm running into you here of all places!"
2. Reassure. Hug the person. I may hate hugs, but a hug is a super effective way of creating the illusion that you know someone and it allows you to put yourself between them and the problem. While leaning in, I can whisper, "Play along" if it seems necessary.
3. Move on. Carrying on about this video should be an easy way to establish a conversation and walk away.
You better believe I can quickly and without effort tell the story of a little person who has suddenly decided she's going all in on this cheerleader thing, despite the fact that we have a strict "one cheerleader per household" rule. I mean, LISTEN TO HER. She's loving every moment of chanting, "Let's get fired up." I definitely need to share the story with a stranger who just became a long-lost friend.
There's no way of knowing if I'll ever encounter a situation where it makes sense to follow my little script, but having it planned out was a very small thing that made me feel a little bit better.
Monday, November 14, 2016
Reader Comments (1)
i love you. so hard.