Gaps in Perspective
Most of the time I genuinely enjoy the giant age gap between the girls. I wouldn't go so far as to say I would have purposely planned it given the choice, but it ain't all bad. Really, it's mostly good. Having a built-in babysitter is pretty great. Alexis is completely enchanted with her little sister, and while she likely would have been even if they were closer in age, some of the novelty comes from the babyness of her little sister. And then there is the joy Mila delivers during Alexis' many activities. You know what makes two hours of cheer more fun? Having a toddler there to serve as a distraction.
"A distraction" is exactly what I wanted Mila to be this morning. Like everyone, I awoke to the horrifying news out of Las Vegas, which at this point has blurred days to weeks to months to years of waking up to horrifying news. Each time I think it's the last time we'll have one of these things, but I guess if a bunch of kindergartners couldn't be viewed as more important than the NRA's feelings, we're lost.
Alexis isn't there yet, though. She's an empathetic little creature who desperately wants the world to be a better place and she doesn't understand. She can't for the life of her understand why anyone, no matter the situation, would want a gun.
BTW, don't bother arguing with her about it. She is absolutely entitled to her opinion and her opinion is that guns are stupid. If you disagree, she'll tell you that you're part of the problem. Let her be. Let her be because she feels each one of these incidents as if it's the first. She mourns people she's never met and she gets angry that we can't seem to figure out how to fix the problem. She has it figured out, but we grown-ups don't seem to get it. I suppose it's a pretty black and white issue if you don't care about Glock's quarterly earnings statement. She doesn't ... so.
Distraction. I really wanted Mila to be a distraction this morning.
I didn't get my way. Alexis caught wind of the news and did the things she always does when the world fails to make sense. She came to me with a long list of questions, each one harder than the other. I don't have answers for her, so all I can do is point her to facts and encourage research and help her to identify ways she can help.
While Alexis was interrogating, the age gap reared its ugly head. When it's hard, it's hard. Today "hard" looked like one kid sobbing because the world thinks more violence is the best way to deal with violence while the other one decided it was a good day to poke my belly and say "Boop!"
Seriously. In her cutest little voice, Mila kept going, "Boop! Boop! Boop!" and poking my belly like I'm the Pillsbury Doughboy or something. It went on and on and have you tried to have a serious conversation while a toddler booped you? I don't recommend it. So while Mila did a great job of distracting me, she did nothing to distract her sister. The Big Kid left for school still in a state of sadness and anger while Mila was happily booping her way around.
As I watched Alexis walk to the bus stop, I was relieved that at least one kid was happy.
But then Mila meandered her way to the door to watch her sister with me.
The second Mila stepped foot into the open doorway, she yelled, "It's COLD outside!" and then she burst into tears.
Alexis was angry that dozens of Americans were murdered for no reason. Mila was angry that it was cold inside. THAT is the sort of hard that the age gap causes.
Monday, October 2, 2017
Reader Comments (2)
In 1979, I was 15 and half a world away they had taken hostages in Iran. It is so much harder for her because it is in her back yard. I don't get it either. When did smashing out a window and shooting at a group of people become the answer?
Mean people suck. Evil people are beyond words. But not everyone who owns a gun falls into that category. Has Alexis ever met anyone from Appalachia? People who really, truly live off of the land and whose survival depends on what they can hunt and freeze to eat through the winter? I don't believe you need an automatic weapon. I do, however, believe that guns are necessary in some lives. Go ahead and tell a man with a lot of mouths to feed that he no longer has the means to do that.
I almost deleted my comment (and you might) because I don't think you can change anyone's opinion over the internet. But I also know that you tend to be raising a child with an equally big heart and big brain. It's not as black and white as everyone wishes it was.