Givers and Takers
Somewhere between buying, no joke, 617 plastic eggs and the night I helped Alexis fill every last one of them with candy or a special treat, I had a moment of very serious thinking. It dawned on me that there are two types of people in this world -- the Givers and the Takers.
The Takers irritate the hell out of me. They suck you dry as they take and take and take and then the jerks go and forget to so much as say "thank you." They think they world owes them for some reason. They've been wronged and OMG IT'S THE WORST DAY EVER and waaaaaaah!
But then there are the Givers. The Givers put out all kinds of positive energy as they give the universe more than they expect back. They're the people who make you smile when they pay you a compliment. They're the people who think of you before they think of themselves. They are everything I aspire to be.
(Dawn was a Giver, by the way. I wish you all could have known her. She was the beautiful soul who inspired me start to think about the people who give more than they take.)
That moment of seriousness was crashed by a certain little short person. She was picking through the special treats and deciding which of her friends she hoped would find what. I was thinking that she almost gets it, that she's well on her way to being a Giver, when she took a detour to Taker Land and decided she was going to cheat at the post-Easter egg hunt so she could keep a certain special prize.
She's seven. There's lots of time for her to figure out that Givers walk around feeling much better than Takers. She'll get there.
Then the day of the post-Easter gathering of friends arrived. 617 eggs were hidden and a bunch of really fantastic kids ran around and stuffed the eggs in baskets.
Alexis did not manage to get the special egg she wanted so very badly. She didn't take it well. At all. There were tears and a hissy fit and general immaturity and greediness.
But it was countered by some moments of generosity. So there's that.
It was while I was quietly observing some of those moments of generosity that I realized it. As I sat in my backyard swimming in sunlight (finally! spring!), I listened to the laughter and sounds of a yard full of Givers. Bunches of them.
Sometimes I get it wrong. Sometimes I let a Taker into my life. It never lasts, though. Eventually I figure it out and refocus my energy.
It's good to be surrounded by Givers.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Reader Comments (3)
You're the best.
So beautifully simple, and so true. It makes me think of one of the things I love most about my daughter. When I offer her something she asks, "But what about you?" It's just her nature. She gets that "What about you?" feels so much better than "What about me?" I'm a lucky dad. And Alexis is lucky her mom is such a giver.
alexis is a pretty incredible little lady. sunday she offered to share the lego i wanted AND her candy. not sure if she knew i was out collecting my own eggs or not, but it was still sweet. when i asked what her favorite part of the day was she said something that she thought would make me feel good, but when i asked her what had upset her she didn't want to talk about it because she wasn't proud of it. my heart totally had an extra beat or two right about then.
you are doing a great job raising alexis. i know it is because you are so wonderful yourself.
also, that picture of your girl made me smile.