I Blame Pinterest For A Lot of Things. This Is #1 On That List.
Do not let the fuzz fool you. This is a face you should fear.
That face will eat anything. And by "anything" I mean ANYTHING. Especially if it's inappropriate.
We have three cats. I'll let you do the math and figure out what my least favorite thing that Penny will eat might be.
::gag::puke::wretch::
The ANYTHING problem has me prepared for a fuzzfest stink bomb at any given moment. Penny kisses are strictly prohibited and I've trained myself to do The Exorcist head spinny thingy the second she tries to get near my face.
That wasn't enough for the assault that went down yesterday.
The odor smacked me in the face the minute Penny jumped up on the couch.
Wait...side note. Penny didn't figure out that she was big enough to jump on the couch until last week. Before that she would cry and slam her paws onto my keyboard until I picked her up. I was really very happy when she finally figured it out. The cats and Cody? NOT SO HAPPY. The couch was their last refuge from the Fuzzy Flurrball (it's totally a word).
Anyway, the odor smacked me in the face the minute Penny jumped up on the couch. It was a combination of death and rot and horror rolled in feces and puke and that chicken that you bought last week but accidentally left in the trunk of your car.
If you think I'm exaggerating, know this: There are no words that can adequately describe the horrific stench. I can't possible exaggerate that which is beyond the power of the English language.
I shoved the Fuzzy Flurrball outside, gave her a bowl of water, and shoved approximately a gazillion Breath Busters into her trap. I didn't let her back into the house until I had scattered breath mints and bars of soap all over the house.
Penny will put anything in her face. Sometimes that works to my advantage.
I didn't think to question what she had consumed. (I was more curious as to what one of the cats had consumed. Ahem.)
Until today. Today silence reigned over the house, which is a VERY VERY BAD SIGN. It so rarely happens, however, that I made the decision to just not care for a moment. As I sat floating in a sea of quiet, I was suddenly jarred into caring by That Smell.
THAT SMELL.
Penny was nowhere near me, and yet I was gagging on week-old-rotten-chicken-rolled-in-poop-and-puke. I gagged as I shot up from my chair to investigate. With my sleeve covering my face, I walked into the kitchen.
And saw it.
THAT SMELL.
There was a time when I absolutely loved Pinterest. As of late it has been overtaken with spam and annoying self-promotion (My nonprofessional and absolutely bitchy opinion: if you have to ask people to post your stuff to Pinterest, it's probably not interesting enough to deserve to be there in the first place.). As such, I've strayed from it a bit. But, I have projects that I found there before it became a sea of annoying that I am/will be working on.
This is one of them.
The thing about Pinterest projects is that it seems that about half of them really are great ideas. The other half make me think the universe is full of Liar McLiartons. THAT project is definitely on my LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE list. I followed the directions exactly and not a single pumpkin sprouted out of those mini pumpkins. I tried it with EIGHT OF THEM, so I'm thinking the logic is flawed more than my execution.
But, you know, I'm an optimist and stuff. I started those seedlings a few weeks ago and knew within days it wouldn't work, but I wasn't quite willing to throw away the attempt. I figured I would plant the entire pumpkin out in the garden just as soon as Mother Nature stops throwing a temper tantrum. So I left the pumpkins on a tray in the kitchen, right next to the pumpkin seeds I planted the old-fashioned way (which, btw, are now 4" tall).
As I waded through THAT SMELL, Penny sat happily munching on those mini pumpkins. Which were rotten. VERY ROTTEN. They didn't look particularly awful from the outside, but OH MY WORD. "AWFUL" IS SUCH AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
Penny will put absolutely anything in her face, including the world's worst smelling Pinterest idea.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Reader Comments (10)
oh dear! I'm trying hard not to laugh. Hope Penny didn't get sick after all that munching on rotten-ness.
Ewww. Puppies are so cute, but a little bit crazy. :)
We have one of those dogs. He should be dead by now from some of the stuff he's eaten, but I swear he has an iron-clad stomach. And he's just a lil guy-a pug! The most memorable thing (so far) he has passed thru his digestive system is a 6-inch long by 1/2-inch diameter STICK!! A stick! And he lives!
He's two now and he's gotten a lot better about not eating everything he finds, but when he was a puppy I would clean up after him and ask him, "WHAT did you eat this time?!"
Have fun!
p.s. I refer to cat "yummies" as Almond Roca. Grosses the husband out every single time, hehe.
Um... Just as a warning... pumpkin is a recommended laxative for constipated dogs due to the high fiber/moisture content. I'd keep a close eye on her for the next day or so.
Something that is even better than Pinterest...
http://www.pinterestyouaredrunk.com/
What?!?! I have to NOT Pinterest? I was just getting up the gumption to figure out what all of the hoopla was about and now one of my favorite bloggers is telling me not to do it? Shucks. At least you caught me before I got all crazy and created a facebook account! ;)
I can't imagine the smell. Because rotten pumpkin would be bad enough...but add that to the breath of a dog who has eaten kitty crunchies and it just makes me gag.
PS I'm choosing NOT to show my husband this post. I'm still canvasing for a puppy in a year or two. If he sees this it will definitely go as a mark in the "con" column.
Almond Roca-priceless! Buster (8 mos) has decided he love munching on my - until now - prolific black raspberry bush. I've tried spraying repellent, coyote pee (really), you name it and still he snacks on them like they were pixie sticks. No jam this year :-/
Retch, Blegh. I KNOW the stench that is rotting pumpkins, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be gagging the entire way home nowthanks.
Oh wow! Poor pup didn't know better. I'd check out Clipix. My friends recommended it to me and I love it. I used to use pinterest, but, like you, got sick of all the spam and self promoting. Plus, clicking on pretty outfits only to find that they're all "unavailable" or "sold out" gets really old really fast! Not that helpful!!
On Clipix, you get private boards and it has a "price drop alert" feature that actually tells you when products you clip go down in price! Doesn't get much better than that, right?
@Sarah.. what is Clipix? Is it similar to Pinterest? I'm kinda tired in Pinterest myself and would love that Price drop feature. Does it work kind of like a wish list? have to check it out. Thanks for the share!