I Can See Now
There are conversations that you look forward to having with your kids, and then there's Ferguson. It's not that I'm afraid to have the hard conversations with Alexis, it's that my eyes are open now and I don't like what I see.
I don't know how to fix it. I just know it's my responsibility to make sure she doesn't go nearly 40 years without seeing things for what they are.
Growing up in North Dakota is a very Caucasian experience. While I did have friends who didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes, they were few and far behind because that's the state of the world there. It wasn't exclusionary. It just was. Long of the short, it made me think I was "color blind," but I realize now that shouldn't be the goal.
If you're color blind, you don't see what's happening.
What's happening is that racism is so deeply embedded in our culture that we have people trying to justify why maybe Mike Brown deserved what happened. Nobody deserves to die in the middle of the street. Whether the cause of death is a gunshot wound (or TWELVE) or a heart attack or whatever, nobody deserves to die alone in the middle of the street.
Nobody.
What's happening is that racism is so deeply embedded in our culture that when I talk to a friend about it, he gives me an example that is so blatantly racist that it hurts my brain. He frequently is greeted differently in a professional environment. When lined up with professional peers and being greeted by a new person, it's not uncommon for him to watch as the new person says, "Hi, nice to meet you." to the first person and the second and third, but when it's his turn to be greeted, he gets, "Yo, what's up bro."
What's happening is that racism is so deeply embedded in our culture that we are outraged over the use of the "n" word, but we think it's OK to say things like "I'm not racist, I just don't like that thug behavior." The meaning of words is in people, not in the words themselves, but "thug" has some pretty race-specific connotations for a whole lot of people.
What's happening is that racism is so deeply embedded in our culture that we can't understand how some people could be so angry that all they can think to do is to throw things. It's unacceptable behavior, certainly. But it's understandable. I have been that frustrated even though I've never had to explain to my kids that they shouldn't run if the police are around. I haven't had to teach my kids to approach law enforcement with their hands up. I haven't had to explain to them why they get followed in stores more often by loss prevention, why they are given harsher punishments for bad behavior in the classroom, and why everything they do is harder just because of their skin color.
My eyes are open now. Now that they're open, I see racism every where I look.
It's there. There's no denying it.
Now it's my job to make sure my kids see it. I can't think of any other way to help make it stop.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Reader Comments (4)
I dislike the term racism. In and of itself, it is prejudiced. By choosing this word, it makes the inference that they are of another race and being treated differently because of it.
Honestly, it is not a race issue but an ethnic issue.
Take that thought for what it is worth but if we treat each other like we are all human beings and not because of our eye color, skin tone, sexual orientation, gender, or any other differentiating fact, the world will be a better place.
I am not saying that prejudice does not exist. On the contrary, my experience shows that it does. I just feel that if we change the word, maybe the thought process will follow. After all, prejudices due to stereotyping are wrong regardless of who or what is being stereotyped.
Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Thank you.
This times a million. I made the mistake of feeding some trolls on Facebook. This sums up everything I wanted to say before I let myself get pulled down into the nitpicking and source citing arguments.
Amen, mama. Thank you for writing this.