I Mustache You How You Know That Word
Alexis gasped loudly and then said, "You almost said a curse word!"
She was talking to me and she was wrong. I was going to say, "You're so full of it," but stopped at "You're so fffff..." because I caught myself headed down a one-way street.
"So full of what?" she would have asked. AND THEN WHAT? I would have had to explain myself. I don't like explaining myself, so I stopped, and yet WHAT THE HELL? I was being called out for nearly cursing? NUH-UH.
I told Alexis I wasn't about to swear, but then realized something. I didn't know what she thought I was about to say. For all of her life, she has been convinced that "stupid" is the "s-word" and that it's the ultimate sin to say it. Her idea of inappropriate language is a bit skewed, if you know what I mean.
Funny thing about that, by the way. Nobody has ever told her that any words are off limits. I have advised her that there are grown-up words that she should wait to say, but there are no BAD words. Just words that she should consider waiting a bit before using.
Since I didn't know what word could possibly start with an "f" that she was so sure I was about to say, I asked. She wouldn't tell me the word, though. "I can't say it, Momma!" she told me.
"Fine. What does it rhyme with?" I replied.
"Ummmm ... " she thought about whether or not she really wanted to answer. Finally, she made up her mind. "Duck," she said. "It rhymes with duck."
I was speechless. For the first time in her entire life, it seemed that Alexis actually knew a curse word. I opted to not give any sort of fun reaction and instead just said, "Oh, that's not what I was going to say."
A moment later, I asked the question.
"So, how do you know about that word anyway?" I ventured.
I fully expected the answer to be something about school. School is always to blame. This morning she asked me if it was true that women used to basically be slaves, and THAT definitely was something she heard at school. It led to a conversation about suffrage and women's rights and how the whole thing is evolving even today. I didn't tell her that she'll be lucky if by the time she enters the work force she'll be paid as much as her male counterparts, but I thought about it. Yay, equality! We still don't have it! And it's really embarrassing to admit that to my 8-year old!
Anyway.
I expected the answer to the Rhymes with Duck Dilemma to be "school," but it wasn't.
Nope.
"Daddy says it all the time," she said before telling me words that rhyme with the other curse words he uses as well.
So there you have it. The 8-year old is not an innocent little thing anymore AND she confirmed that I'm still in the clear for teaching her any words she shouldn't know.
THANK GOODNESS.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Reader Comments (5)
"...bees. Full of bees."
(Also: start using Cockney rhyming slang, see what happens!)
Over Christmas break. My 7 yo actually said the f word paired with you. At the TV when he was playing skylanders. At the top of his lungs three times in a row. We asked him where he heard it, he said on TV. But he only watches Disney shows so I'm sure it wasn't from there. I guess as much as we want to keep them sheltered they will still learn this stuff from somewhere.
Baloney! We were always full of baloney when we were growing up. :)
school is to blame for almost everything!
i am just thankful it wasn't from me. whew!