I Never Expected That It Would To Come To This
You know that panic-inducing, heart-stopping, gut-wrenching moment when you realize that your baby is about to start kindergarten?
I haven't had that yet.
It's not that it hasn't occurred to me that I blinked and five years passed me by. I noticed that part. The problem is that the whole concept of kindergarten has turned out to be such a giant pain in the ass that it has been an all-consuming task just to get the whole mess figured out. Considering I've spent most of my free moments for the past two months trying to figure it all out, it's almost shocking how little I've mentioned the debacle online.
The first sign of trouble came way back in January when I first registered Alexis for kindergarten at the elementary school nearest our home. Sirens went off and and emergency lights flashed in my head because SON OF A HORNLESS UNICORN, somehow when we moved two years ago, we managed to land in one of the few Pittsburgh-area schools that still have half-day kindergarten.
I haven't quite figured out the logic in half-day kindergarten, especially when "half-day" is fancy wording for "two and a half hours." Do people in our school district just not work? I mean, seriously, how *do* they manage to transport a kid back and forth and still go to work? I never found an answer to that question, but I did think I had a viable solution to the problem.
That solution required that Alexis end up in morning kindergarten, but still. That shouldn't have been an issue, at least the way I saw it.
But it was an issue. Despite my fervent pleas for Alexis to be placed in morning kindergarten, in June we were notified that she had been assigned to the afternoon class. No amount of "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" emails or calls seemed to make a difference (honestly, my emails and calls were flat-out ignored by the principal, which, WTF?). That left me to try to find someone to watch her from 7:30 am to 12:30, and then again from 3:00 to 5:00. Which, really? REALLY? Not to beat a dead horse, but do people in our school district just not work?
I explored school-endorsed programs and found out that there were none. I inquired about kindergarten plus programs and was met with quizzical stares. Apparently, they don't exist in the bubble we live in. I checked with area daycare centers and the YMCA and with neighbors and then I had a huge hissy fit, threw a bunch of papers in the air, cussed a bunch, and realized that it was all too much.
Way. Too. Much.
We believe in public schools. We believe in our public school. But, we don't believe in moving mountains to accommodate a schedule that isn't just a pain in the ass, it's flat-out a disservice to our child. Alexis is accustomed to all-day preschool. She thrives on learning opportunities. She's a nerd, to be honest, and nerds need more than a couple of hours of school each day.
So, private kindergarten it is. The decision is made. We're not entirely happy about the lack of choices that were available to us, but at least the little nerd will have a chance to learn as much as she wants and I won't have to quit my job just so I can take her to school each day.
It will probably take a few weeks for the smoke to clear, and when it does, I'll be over in the corner sobbing because OMG, my baby is about to start kindergarten.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Reader Comments (36)
FIRST - HOLY hells bells that pic
SECOND - Kinder is only partial day? WHAT?
I seriously do not get the half-day kindergarten thing. AT ALL. Especially because most kids have been to preschool at least half days, not to mention the kids who have been at daycare all day, a lot of them full time. They are USED TO IT. Families have a routine! So let's completely screw it up when they turn 5! GOOD TIMES.
I'm glad you figured out a solution. We may have to go the private K route with Audrey (in four more years. I'm a planner. HAAAAA.) simply because of her birthday. She's 2 weeks past the cutoff in our district and they've adopted a Zero Exceptions policy from what I've heard. And I'm sorry but if she's anything like her sister, it will be detrimental to keep her from starting kindergarten until she's 6. She'll be bored out of her mind! I can't imagine holding Maggie back another year- she's been ready for kindergarten for months now.
But that's like a million years away, of course. We'll see how much whining I can do to the district first ;) I have some teacher neighbors!
I had some of your same issues especially with 1/2 day school, lack of choices, etc. And then lo, and behold, this year, the year my sweet boy heads to kindergarten, it is an all day event! Except for Wednesdays when they get out at 1:15. Strange time, strange day, but I'm done asking questions because it's on a schedule like the rest of the school district. And I'm continuing to reflect on how these five years have flown by so quickly, even with me savoring as many moments as I could and still want my sweet baby boy back in my belly to start all over again.
Thanks for this post! I enjoyed it!
Most of the kindergarten programs in my city are half day (yep, fancy for 2 1/2 hours!). They started out as fulll day a number of years ago at the inner city/ low income schools but I assume in the next dozen years or so full day will be the majority rather than the minority.
There are 2 schools in the field across from my house- one public, one Catholic ( I sould point out they are both publically funded). The public school has had full day kindergarten for 3 or 4 years. I knew with Saoirse- who is starting Grade 2- that full day would have been 2 big a jump for her from playschool (2 hours a day, 3 days aweek) so her school wasn't even a question. Now, with Sophie, who starts kindergarten in Sept, it was a different matter. At 3, she would have done well in a full day program and I would have done well with her in one! When it came to register though, we went with the Catholic half day program- not for religion (though I really do love hearing 5 year old`s singing `We will praise you` to the tune of `We Will Rock You`!) but just for the teachers and the overall program. Plus, I don`t think I am ready for her to be gone all day- I`m looking forward to afternoons with just her and I.
I may regret this desicion if I get the job I'm about to interview for. I'll be cursing myself when I am paying a sitter when I could have went with free all day kindergarten!
Ours has been all-day for at least 3 years - thankfully! I never understood the 1/2 day thing, especially with all they expect the kindergartners to know before they move to 1st grade these days!!
Also, that picture is gorgeous.
All day every day will be a big adjustment for Sabrina but I can't imagine that anyone can even pretend to accomplish anything with 20 kindergarteners in 2.5 hours. Hell just getting everyone out of and then into coats and boats could take 2 hours in the winter. When you originally mentioned your dilemma, I was trying to figure out how anyone can possibly have a job and get their child to and from Kindergarten...apparently you found the only feasible solution. Sorry it was an expensive and painful to arrive at option but glad you found one. I've accepted that I won't be able to go back to work until both girls are in the 1st grade if we don't land in an all day kindergarten district. Hope Alexis loves it!
That would be boots not boats...although if it rains instead of snows who knows.
Some of the school districts in my area had the following schedule: full day M, W OR T, Th and every other Friday. WTF? That's not a schedule. A kid can't get used to that, and how the hell do parents manage it, especially when they work? My son is starting kindergarten and he'll be full day Tue, Wed, Thu. Which I think is weird. But at least it's full days and there's none of this 'every other' nonsense.
Oh yeah? New york city schools start preschool off at an hour. Then after aweek change it to an hour and a half. Then two hours. Then three.
They are so scared of children "losing their crap" and getting used to a new environment, fearful that they'll have a nervous breakdown if they are not with their parents for one second.
Our district does this *crazy* schedule that I mentioned before either Monday/Thursdays or Tuesday/Fridays and every other Wednesday. Oh and did I mention that Wednesdays are 'late start' meaning they start an HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES later than 'normal'. Blergh. I am NOT looking forward to that.
Oh and we don't even know which class she gets (sometime this month) and if we'll even get the fracking school we want. (Because I found out apparently our school? Is STILL getting kindergarteners who are registering still and they might have to go to 'overflow' at one of the other schools that can't get enough kids, but they don't know which ones will go where)
Also? Our district just *now* has a tentative school schedule (not even finalized for the year). If I could afford out of pocket (or even tuition assisted) private kindergarten? I'd be all over it.
Sorry to hear your troubles with scheduling!!
My baby is about to start grade two. I feel like all of a sudden she's far too old. Which is silly, because as she would say "grade two-ers" are not old, but when she was in kindergarten, these kids in grade two looked SO old compared to my little baby girl.
She just needs to stop growing older already.
I would be in the same situation but Caileigh is headed to catholic school by choice. They have full & half day and all the required curriculum is in the am so the half day kids don't miss out. I suspect ( but not positive) that in the public districts w/ all the kids they'd have to hire too many teachers to offer full day & keep ratios manageable. We are in one of the largest districts & it's half day only.
A lot of schools remain half day due to parental opposition. The school I teach in has full day. Every single year come April, it starts. We suddenly have a full room of parents at PTA meetings. We have angry parents at the office, angry about how schools are trying to make their children into adults. Some schools hang onto half day because there are parents who hate full day.
I personally love full day. It makes the most academic sense. I know of at least one district, to appease families, has full day, half day, and K+. So by the time these kids go to first grade, you have teachers getting kids, from their own district, who are all over the place academically due to no consistent kindergarten program. Crazy.
I can't answer to why your school never got back to you. AM K is the coveted K. AM makes the most sense for a lot of people. One district I know that still hangs on to half day, your child goes to AM half the year and PM the rest of the year. ?!? I know that way at least half the year everyone gets their choice but still.
Good luck.
Rachael - When one of my sisters was in kindergarten, it was a weird every-other-day schedule too. She went Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Friday. It was not helpful in developing a consistent routine at all. My mom stayed at home and none of us went to preschool or daycare (though the school she went to did have "junior kindergarten"...so she started this at four years old instead of five.) My brother went to half-day, as did my youngest sister, but in different districts. (We moved a lot).
I went to full-day kindergarten, albeit in a horrific district. But I wanted/needed the whole day. I was (okay, am) a giant nerd and I just adored going to school and learning stuff.
Even though Alisdair is only four months old now and kindergarten is a long way off (though I'm sure when it gets here I will freak out and wonder where the time went), I want him to go to a full-day.
I feel your pain. We have full-day kindergarten, but Bear getting out of school at 3:00 does me no good, when I can't leave work until after 5:00. That's not a big deal (thankfully) because his bus stop is right at his old daycare (across the street from my home), so he can go there until I get out of work to get him and his baby brother. BUT, I'm appalled at the number of 1/2 days (dismissal is at 1:20) and days off!! At LEAST a few days a month I'm going to be scrambling to find somewhere to put him.
I believe in public schools as well and I'm hoping this works out. But, it's freaking ridiculous!
The fact is that children benefit from full day kindergarten. Elementary PSSA scores show that. The problem is that education funding is being cut left and right which leaves programs like all day kindergarten in jeopardy. My school district lost almost $2 million in funding for the upcoming school year. Included in those cuts was a $600,000 grant that funds the all day kindergarten program. Fortunately, the district is committed to keeping the program, however, I have no faith that in 3 years (and again in 5 years) that the funds will be there to maintain the all day kindergarten program. If that happens, we will be in the same situation. I'll be scrambling to find a place to send the boys.
Unfortunately you will find out even as your child gets older, many schools assume there is a stay at home parent in every family. You are expected to be at school for many activities during the day, there are 1/2 days, not to mention snow days and 2-hour delays. It's very difficult, a lot of juggling required. I'm sure you will make it work, but you need to have backup childcare and mom friends that can help in an emergency. Schools really need to change the way they do things to accomodate real families today, but I don't see it happening anytime soon.
Ugh. As if daycare and school decisions aren't hard enough. I'm shocked the school wouldn't accommodate you. Good luck!
Oh, yeah, what Suzanne said, too. I don't quite know how I am going to figure out how to get Flora around town during half days and the like. Fortunately her new school is near my husband's office, so he may be on the hook for some of that. As his schedule is flexible -- because he actually can control it -- I'm hoping we can work all this out.
@Kassandra--Shockingly enough, the private kindergarten we ended up selecting costs about half as much as the daycare solution that I had pieced together if we did the half-day kindergarten at our public school. HALF AS MUCH. It wasn't purely a financial decision, but that sure as hell did make it easier.
Part of the reason school districts are so unbending on the whole kindergarten issue is that it is not mandatory in PA. We, like you, live in a district with half-day kindergarten. My elder just did K last year and will be starting 1st in a couple of weeks. When I complained about half-day K and how useless it all seemed, my father-in-law, who was an elementary ed teacher for 35 years, told me that districts aren't going to spend the money on full day kindergarten when it's not even a required grade according to the state. With budgets getting slashed right and left and pressure on teachers to meet the requirements of the testing that goes with No Child Left Behind, they are spending their money and resources on things that are required.
If it's any consolation, it's pretty common in my district for us to get an influx of students in first grade because so many parents are forced to make the same choice you are. They need full time kindergarten and the district isn't helping them at all with their predicament. At least two of my neighbors have done it that way. So, Alexis won't be the only kid entering public school in first grade (if you choose to go to public at that point).
I'm sorry you're fighting with this. I'm completely on your side. It's ridiculous that all of this hulabaloo goes on. That said, I found my kid was much more resilient than I thought he would be with the schedule changes. He went from all day preschool/daycare to half-day K and it worked out much better than I thought. He had an afternoon schedule and by the time he was bored at home, it was time for school. Those 2.5 hours at school TIRED HIM OUT and he came home whipped the first couple of weeks. Then he was used to it and it was normal and easy on him. He learned more than I ever thought possible in that sort of setting (he had an AMAZING teacher). I still think full day would have been more beneficial academically but half-day wasn't the total waste of time I expected it to be.
Kudos! Welcome to realizing love for your daughter on a completely different and new level. My "baby" is going to be a freshman/freshwoman in high school and I'm moving mountains here, too.
It doesn't get easier, we are just given more grace and ease with which to move through it!
Blessings
Welcome to the school age years. I struggled with my boss and co-workers not feeling my pain for years because their kids were either taken care of by their in-laws (shuttled everywhere and didn't have to worry about snow days and in-service days) or they were just babies and not entered into the school yahoo mess.
To Jen's comment above about the birthday/cut-off thing. My daughter was so ready to go and her birthday was after the cut-off (we placed her in private school for this reason). Unfortunately, now that she is turning 12 and all the kids in her class are turning 13, it has become a bit of a social issue now. On one hand I wish I had waited to put her in school so she wasn't "the baby" but on the other hand I don't know how a 5 foot 4.5 inch 128 lb sixth grader wouldn't be an issue either - LOL!
I went to half day kindergarten. My Mom is a nurse, and I remember she worked nights so she could be there for me when I got home in the afternoon. She'd have lunch ready for me, and I ate it while watching The Beverly Hillbillies. Haha. I actually, hope my son can go to half day rather than full day next year. I can see how that can be a pain for two working parents. Most of our schools offer both full and part day. It is up to the parents what they want to do.
Being in the schools....many schools choose 1/2 day because :
1) space (what is now occupying 1 classroom 1/2 day-will need 2 for full day) and schools in stable or growing areas don't have that kind of space
2) staff. 1 teacher and assistant x 2
some say parents are the reason-and there are a few out there who oppose 1/2 day...but in my experience-full day is preferred in most places. Especially since by the end of K kids are expected to be reading and writing sentences (spelling not an issue). period.
I can't believe some of the schedules districts impose on 1/2 days.
and daycares that deal with it profit off this-charging extra to transport kids
One district is 1/2 day am or pm....but doesn't bus mid-day (so am kids get bussed to school-but not home and pm kids get bussed home at end of day-but not to school).
Lisa, that's how my district is with the busing. They don't do it mid-day so parents had to pick up the slack somehow.
In Butler, PA we have 1/2 day Kindergarten. Like you, I'm screaming "Don't people work?!?"
I just found out that Elizabeth has morning Kindergarten, information that would have been helpful to know at least two weeks ago! I have to rearrange my work schedule around her Kindergarten schedule, and thank God I work part-time for an awesome company, or I would have had to find a new job with the hours I needed. FOR ONE YEAR. Ridiculous.
Really? No care programs at all? I mean, we even have a few around here and we're in the middle of nowhere. Gah. Sorry, dear.
My brother went to private kindergarten. If we had run into a problem like you, I would have done the same.
and that is just it... while supporting local schools is ideal, the reality is sometimes we have to change the status quo for our kids needs...
Most states are doing away with half days. My school has for the year. We have 0 half days. When we did have half days, the calendar was out before the last week of school the previous year so that it gave advance notice for parents. My school also provides after care until 6:00 for a fee.
As for the age cut off, many private schools follow the age restrictions of their home public school. You have to look at social maturity when they are close to the cut off age. It's so hard to watch a child struggle in school because maturity wise, they just aren't there, and that in turn, can affect them academically even if they are very, very bright.
Hello, my school district near Pittsburgh (South Fayette Township) has a wonderful kindergarten plus/extended day program. They are opening several similar programs in nearby school districts as well. The school is not very forthcoming with this infomation or the availability of it. If private K doesn't work out, I hope this info might help!
@Jen--We actually moved out of South Fayette two years ago, and HOOBOY AM I BITTER. The after-school care programs are phenomenal, as is the all-day kindergarten. Wish we could have found a house in that school district . . .
Another problem with our private schools here is that 3 out of 4 in the area are religious and require 'statements of faith' from your clergy member (which we don't have) before they'll even consider admitting you. The one that is non-religious? Costs $7,800 per year PLUS a $500 'facilities fee' (so $8300 for ONE year of school).
Unfortunately given my budget that just isn't an option. (Gotta love being a single income, single parent household.) I think that if we don't like kindergarten in our district I WILL check out the more lenient private school that does bussing.
Religious schools only require statements of faith if you are coming from a church outside of their school district that has it's own school. They accept children not of that faith all the time and do not require statements of faith. There is usually paperwork to sign acknowledging that your child will be taught that school/church's religious principals. The tuition is usually a little higher for students not of that faith, but from what I've seen in our area Mars/Cranberry not insanely so.
Coming from someone in education: 1/2 day equals less money. There is a maximum capacity in classrooms and for prek/k it is usually enforced. That leaves the option of paying twice as many teachers or splitting classes. Either way the district has to accomodate any children enrolled because eventhough you don't have to send her until 1st they have to provide K unlike preK which is needs based. And you'll have to jump through fiery hoops for accomodation because they want as many parents as possible to do exactly what you're doing and pull. Why? Most parents don't know that you still have the right to utilize the public school's resources even if you do go private and once you go private you're more likely to stay private. And that's not a slam. I went to public school and it rocked. Working in it now, I'll be robbing Peter to pay Paul if I have to to send my kids to private school.
We're in pretty much the same position, with the extra wrinkle that after having been yanked around by the school district for the last two months, we can't find any private schools with openings.
No thanks to our esteemed Governor, either, who by slashing education funding caused the disarray in the Pittsburgh school district - and probably all over the state - this summer. Rarely have I been smacked in the face so hard by the results of an election as I was this morning by a school employee telling us that they have the space for my son, just not the funding, and they may or may not even know if they have space by the time school starts.