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Thursday
Jun142018

I Really Don't Have My Act Together

I don't really know how I managed to forget other than the fact that the whole scenario played out at 4:00 in the morning. And yet, this morning when I pulled my dirty laundry out of my suitcase to throw it in the washer, I was all, "Huh? Why is this stuff wet?"

OH YEAH. BECAUSE I NEARLY DROWNED.

I have this rule. The rule is that you can't hand me things when I don't have a place to put them. I will, every time, lose them because I have to put things where they belong immediately. I know this about me. And, thus, I KNEW I would lose the car key when the husband handed it to me when I had my hands full of Mila. Miss Thing was busy doing the things she does and he handed me that key and KERBLUM. It was the start of a chain of events.

The chain of events rolled on a mere 6 hours later when I got up and was ready to leave for the airport. My flight to Colombia was scheduled for 7:00 am, which means I needed to be at the airport by like 5:00ish, which means I needed to leave the house at OMGTHATISDUMB o'clock.

It was REALLY early. Some weekends I'm still up at the time I was done sleeping for the night.

I had everything packed and was ready to head out the door exactly on time, but then I couldn't find the dumb car key. 20 minutes later (Hahaha ... ::sob::), I finally had the key in my hand and was ready to go for real. In that 20 minutes, though, a thing happened.

The skies opened up and dumped a week's worth of rain on Pittsburgh. It rained and rained and rained and so much rain was falling from the sky. By then, I was already running late, so I couldn't put out an all points bulletin for an umbrella. I knew where one was, but I didn't have the key to that car and another one was definitely under my desk at work and CRAP. It was the kind of rain that doesn't allow you to just duck your head and run so I really super needed an umbrella. Also, the people of the house were sleeping near the back door so I needed to go out the front door so as to not wake them up. Our front door is approximately 8 miles from our cars. 9 if I'm parked where I belong.

So I stood there, crippled by indecision. Did I really want to be wet for the rest of the day, especially the 7 or so hours that were to be spent on a plane?

NO WORRIES! I didn't have to make that choice! Because Mila left her umbrella in the kitchen! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!

By the way, Mila's Minnie Mouse umbrella is Mila-sized. It's so little and cute and I love when she carries it because it's so tiny.

So ... it turns out that when it's raining buckets and you use an umbrella that's appropriately sized for someone who is too short to reach the light switches, you're basically just keeping your head dry. Sort of. Your shoulders may actually extend beyond the umbrella, which means your hair might get wet and HEY! Guess what made the whole thing better! I was wearing an ankle-length maxi dress. So basically my dress was swooshy and wide enough to need eleven Minnie umbrellas in order to stay dry. While one Minnie umbrella is better than no Minnie umbrellas, there is no mistaking the fact that the mini part of Minnie was a problem.

I was drenched by the time I got to the car.

And then I got to the airport and it was still pouring.

That is the story of why a cranky business lady was wandering through the Pittsburgh Airport while holding a Minnie Mouse umbrella and dripping wet from head to toe. In case you were wondering.

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