I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Sleep At This Point
I stood in the middle of the bookstore. Tiny Alexis was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and watched as I deliriously looked for answers. I was that sort of tired that comes after exhausted -- the kind that leaves you dizzy and disjointed as your brain wanders outside of your body.
I picked up a book, I'm not sure the name of it, but it promised a better night's sleep. Alexis was maybe eight months old at the time, so it had been well over a year since I had enjoyed a decent night of sleep. I was something worse than desperate for answers.
As I turned the pages, words jumped out of the book and punched me in the gut. "If your baby is six months old and still not sleeping through the night, it's your fault." That may not be what it actually said, but it's what I saw. I scoured for answers and considered the suggestions the author offered.
"Make sure you have a before bed routine."
We did. Each night was exactly the same. I would feed Alexis, read her a book or two while rocking in the chair in her room, and then put her down in her crib. Each night started just like that, but then quickly devolved to her screaming and demanding to be picked back up.
"Make sure it's dark."
Done. Black out curtains and blinds had turned Alexis' room into a beautiful sleep cave.
"Swaddle the baby."
Tried it. Alexis hated it with the fire of 10,000 suns. Still, I continued to try every few nights. It was our first time riding in the parenting rodeo and EVERYONE said swaddling was a must, so clearly it was our fault that it didn't work. I had to try again. Just in case.
"Let the baby cry it out, or try checking in and then leaving."
I spent weeks attempting to follow various theories of cry it out, but yet things never seemed to improve.
We were doing everything right. Yet, Alexis didn't sleep.
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This time around I was a little bit wiser, somewhat more seasoned, and definitely jaded. I was so jaded that just walking past those books is enough to turn me into fire-breathing dragon. SCREW YOU AND YOUR ADVICE, SEARS AND FERBER AND ALL OF YOU QUACKS.
In the five weeks since Mila came into this world and made it a better place, I have done EVERYTHING wrong when it comes to sleep. Routine? Pshaw. Swaddle? Sometimes. Dark? Hardly. Cry it out? There will be no crying because here, just lay down with me for a bit. Got some more rules? Because I will happily break them.
Mila has rewarded me by being The BEST Sleeper Ever. It may very well all come crashing to a halt tomorrow, but it won't matter because she started life sleeping through the night. Put her in her crib somewhere between 9:00 and midnight and she will summon someone for food in 5-7 hours. She will quickly down a meal and then go back to sleep for another 5 hours.
It's like magic.
And proves what I've suspected for a long time -- the so-called "sleep experts" are liars who prey on exhausted new parents by making promises of a better life in exchange for a few dollars. In reality, it's like a roll of the dice. Either you get a good sleeper or you don't. You just have to go with it.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Reader Comments (8)
I think it's a combo of both-some of it is your kid, but some of it is what you do with it. If what you're doing is working, then why stop?
We did Ferber, who is a doctor who actually runs a children's sleep clinic. And it worked quite well for us. Kid has been a great sleeper. Though I think part of it is just her, she likes to sleep. With the next one I'm a nervous wreck. Can I get two good sleepers or is one destined to keep me awake at night? I don't do well with sleep deprivation, so if this one doesn't sleep, Im screwed.
My SIL has a 7 month old who won't sleep unless being held. She wants to try cry it out but her husband is against it. Even though he's not the one dealing with a baby that won't sleep. Drives me nuts, but I'm not getting involved in that drama.
So true!! Glad you are getting some sleep on your second trip through!
Two things you can't make a child do: Eat and sleep. Everyone has an opinion on this but I'm speaking from experience. I've heard absolute horror stories of both (and I'm NOT referring to cry it out...). I'm glad you got a sleeper - I have one of those, too (Yes, just one)(sigh). What I'm REALLY anxious to see is if Mila will be another lima-bean-loving child or not. ;)
Just goes to show everyone is different and we have to take the good with the sleepless. Enjoy it all!
@The Mommy -- If pregnancy is an indication, there will be no lima beans in Mila's future. I couldn't eat junk food with Alexis and really only wanted sweets with Mila. We. Are. Screwed.
Hear, hear. :)
(I still seethe when I see people dishing out sleeping advice like it's gospel. Nearly seven years later. Ha.)
So glad Mila is such a great sleeper. Have you woken up and checked on her a million times? ;)
I have one non-sleeper and one sleeper. It's a total crap shoot. My first, who still has trouble sleeping through the night, is 10 years old. My 5 year old on the other hand takes sleeping in to a new art form. Those sleep experts can kiss my tucas.
most experts are full o crapola.
:)