It's a Genetic Problem of Sorts
School pictures.
Those words are enough to send me running for the nearest corner, where you'll find me rocking back-and-forth in the fetal position.
I hated school pictures with the fire of 1,000,000 suns. Every year they were a special sort of torture involving unfortunate wardrobe choices, bad hair, splotchy skin, tears, pain, torture, and did I mention unfortunate wardrobe choices? Yeah. Those.
My mother never let me have a say in what I wore for school pictures. Eventually I figured out to pack what I wanted and change once I got to school, but before that, HOOBOY.
Let's just say that a woman whose closet contains a kaleidoscope of polyester elastic-waisted pants and brightly-patterned tent-like tops should not be making wardrobe decisions for a school-aged kid. If I had copies of any of the photos, I would happily post them, if only because I'd be sure to win the Bloggy for Most Pitied Blogger. Voting would be a landslide.
Today was Alexis' School Picture Day. In the past, it's been nothing short of a disaster. The episodes have ranged from her refusing to pose without a teacher holding her, right on up to the most recent attempt when she glared at the photographer, told him, "You're not funny," and then stormed off. Rumor has it one photo was taken of that fateful day, but the photographer didn't even bother to print it. Frankly, I was a little sad because I thought it had the potential to be the Worst Photo Ever.
Despite The Disaster that is Alexis' School Pictures, she still LOVES the hype. They take them twice a year at her preschool, so twice a year she bounces home the day before The Disaster, eagerly chattering about what she's going to wear and how cute she is going to look.
Yesterday was no exception. Before I could even blink, Alexis had picked out a red sundress and summer shoes. I knew it was only going to be in the low 60's today, but I am Captain Overcompensation, so I let her have her way. So what if she would freeze all day! She would be wearing the clothing of her choice! Go me!
In order to fully own my title Captain Overcompensation, I also had to do the kid's bidding and French braid her hair. I got up an extra twenty minutes early just to do it. Me. Who doesn't do mornings. And people say the kid is spoiled . . .
The final touch was to fulfill the kid's wish to wear a necklace. As she stood in the bedroom, grinning from ear-to-ear, I looked at her perfectly coifed hair and adorable little dress and thought, "RED!" She needed a red necklace. The only problem was that she doesn't have one, so I carefully opened my jewelry box and gently picked up my red necklace.
It's not an expensive necklace, really, but it is a sort of "real" necklace. It's turquoise and red, made of sterling silver and whatever kind of stones. It wasn't terribly expensive, but it was hella lot more expensive than the plastic Mardi Gras beads the kid usually wears. With a flourish, I placed it gently around Alexis' neck, watching as her eyes lit up like fireworks.
She. was. thrilled.
"You're the best momma EVER!" she declared.
Overcompensation has it's perks. For sure.
Just before we piled into the car, I asked Alexis to show me her Pretty Girl Smile that she was going to put on display for the school photographer. I got this:
Yeah. So. School Pictures. I have very low expectations.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Reader Comments (22)
But she's so cute it doesn't matter. And for the record, my mom let pick out my own clothes for school pictures and I still hate looking at them.
Haha!! Sounds like me and school photos :) My kids school photos get put in the back of a drawer every year
Um, adorable!
(P.S. I'd fight you for that worst picture ever title!)
hey, at least her eyes are open :-)
And yet, she'll probably find a new way to lower the bar. I love that kid.
Seriously - the photographer didn't even get a picture that one year? Awesome.
BB looks positively petrified in his school pictures this year. I'm kind of okay with it because they made me giggle.
I love the necklace on her. You are the best Momma!
@Karen--There have been three instances when there were no pictures at all. She *thinks* she wants to play along, but she so totally doesn't do it.
My worst was in 8th grade, and I had no idea it was picture day. Showed up in a grubby old T-shirt. Thankfully, the folks didn't buy the pictures that year.
So is that one of your 365 most-loved? ;)
No matter how you slice it, that girl is CUTE! And the Best Momma EVER is worth overcompensating...AND getting up 20 minutes early. I, too, overcompensate for "mistakes" that my parents made. Go You!
I hhhaaaaated school photos! So painful! Especially the year I got the perm....*shudder*
Hah! My grandmother swore I always gave the evil eye to who ever took a picture of me. I still don't smile for pictures. Neither does my daughter, so I'm on board with the genetic thinking. (Hugs)Indigo
She's adorable.
I actually snorted out loud at her telling the photographer he wasn't funny. Way to speak your mind, kid!
But yeah, School Picture Day was awful for me, too. I might have to dig out the ones I have and post them some day.
@trinity--The best part was that when the teacher told me the "You're not funny" story, she was all, "Alexis was right. He really wasn't funny at all." Her expression was priceless.
i didnt like picture day when i was at the catholic school.. mainly because the other kids always teased me.. :-( we got to wear what we wanted that day (no uniform) and my mom for the most part let me where what I wanted.. tho she would take me to get my hair cut the DAY before pictures.. yea.. never turned out right... then i d be sitting there in the gym trying to smile.. trying not to cry as all my classmates would tell me not to break the camera... why did i even bother showing up today... etc.. :-(
Ok, my 10th grade pictures are the best of the worst. I had poison sumak on my face. Big red streaks going from cheek to chin. Not too mention the fact that I tried to not get my picture taken so I didn't care what I wore. One of my teachers felt bad and paid for the pictures (the teacher who was responsible for the poison sumak). I wore the exact same sweater that I did the year before. Very similar hair style, too. There were tears...lots and lots of tears.
I see her smiling in that same outfit as a part of your flickr stream to the right, so I'm sure she'll do just fine. ;-)
I don't know if I could win for worst photo, but I think I can take "worst thing to be done with a horrible photo." In 7th grade I was overweight, had stringy hair that was parted in the middle, wore giant glasses, was not permitted to wear make-up, and had no fashion sense. As you can imagine, the picture was not good, but neither were most of my school photos. Unfortunately, that year, our class size was not divisible evenly by whatever the number of pictures was that went on each page of the Jr. High yearbook. There would be one extra picture. That picture belonged to the person at the end of the alphabet: me. Had they asked me I would have happily given permission to "forget" to include me. But they did not ask. Instead they blew up my picture so it took up the entire page! Horrifying!
I think the power of RED! is going to help thwart the curse this year. For sure. :-)
@Kim Z--I know magic tricks to get the "real" smile out of that kid. Assembly line school pictures won't include magic. :-/
Bwahahahaha! We taught our kids to do the cheesy smile when they were tiny. It's haunted us ever since.
school pictures always suck... it's sort of what makes them tick.
School picture day was terrifying for me. For many years after, I would remove and hide the picture from my Mom's Wall of Shame. For many years, she'd find it and put it back up. Until I tore them all up. And thew them away. In my garbage. Far from her house. HA!
Love her necklace. Love her dress. Love what I can see of her hair. Just love her.
Ugh. I have the same reaction to the thought of school pictures. None of them ever came out well. Photogenic, I am not.
The story about telling the photographer that he wasn't funny- that is just priceless. I love it!
At least if the school pictures don't always turn out the way you want them, she has a photographer at home who takes tons of cute pictures of her!