Leprechauns Do Not Belong In The Closet
While I like to think I do a halfway decent job of keeping up with the random holidays and the oddball traditions that go along with them, I had never heard of leprechaun traps until I saw Red Lotus Mama's post about them. Some people would have seen that post and thought, "Cute idea!" but I saw it and thought, "OMG! AN HOUR OF SILENCE AND PEACE!"
Let me just tell you, once I gave Alexis a shoe box, some paper, markers, cotton balls, glue, and instructions, I sprawled out on the couch and made out with that hour of silence and peace. It was . . . beautiful. Just . . . beautiful. Every holiday should have some sort of Alexis-friendly art project associated with it.
Once Alexis was done with her leprechaun trap, she eagerly hauled it upstairs. I didn't ask her where exactly she was taking it because I am stupid. Obviously. "Upstairs" sounded like enough information at the time.
It wasn't.
When St. Patrick's Day Eve rolled around, I planned to partake in a bit of shenanigans around that leprechaun trap. I figured I would steal a few coins out of Alexis' piggy bank and relocate them to the trap, making it seem as if a leprechaun had stopped by but without actually spending any money. But, as often happens when I attempt to do evil, my plan blew up in my face.
After Alexis was asleep, I violated the piggy bank and tiptoed my way towards Alexis' room. I had assumed that "upstairs" would mean her room because, well, where else would it mean? I knew it wasn't in our master bedroom or guest room, so that really only left the loft and her room. Our loft looks like we don't know it's there (loft furniture is a lofty dream for now), so a glance was all that was needed to know that wasn't where it was.
So I opened Alexis' door and was greeted by her usual assault to my senses. Her radio was blaring and every light possibly was lit, including her Christmas tree. It should be stashed in her closet by now, but she LOVES sleeping with the twinkly lights on, so whatever. It's her room. If she wants it to be December in there all year round, fine.
The advantage to the well-lit room was that it was easy to scan and find the leprechaun trap. Or, at least, it should have been. It wasn't on her dresser. It wasn't in the middle of the floor. I thought maybe it was hidden around the side of her dresser, so I carefully tip-toed into her room to look for it.
Lady Gaga was blaring over the airwaves so, in theory, I should have been able to start reenacting my days in the Marching Band as I worked my way across the room. In actuality, Alexis' ears are fine-tuned to detect any sounds that might indicate that I'm awake. I made it all of four steps before her eyes popped open.
"What are you doing, momma?" she asked.
"Just making sure you're OK," I replied. I urged her to go back to sleep as I turned and marched back out of her room. I should probably be ashamed that I came up with a halfway decent lie that quickly, but I'm definitely not.
After ten minutes of standing silently in the hallway outside her room, I figured SURELY she was back asleep. I decided I would give it another shot, but this time I would try to be a little more stealth.
I carefully inched her door open and ever-so-slowly began crawling into her room, all the while making sure that I avoided any parts of her room that were easy to see from her bed. Inch-by-inch I slithered towards the foot of her bed. Once I was safely hidden behind her footboard, I began to scan the room for the leprechaun trap.
It wasn't under her bed.
It wasn't under her dresser.
It wasn't by the Christmas tree.
It wasn't tucked in the corner.
I decided to accept defeat for the moment. I would just ask Alexis about it in the morning and then somehow beat her to the trap so I could drop off the leprechaun treasure. I slowly began to back out of her room, still on my hands and knees.
I was making good time until I ran into something.
That something was Alexis.
I might have just barely managed to slap my hand over my mouth just in time to keep my scream from cutting through the night. Possibly.
I don't know when the heck she got out of bed and parked her little self behind me, but she did. She's a ninja, or something.
Oh, and she's a ninja who stashed the leprechaun trap in her closet. As punishment for hiding the trap, I think next year a certain little leprechaun is going to commit lots and lots and lots of shenanigans in the week leading up to St. Patrick's Day.
And he will still escape her trap.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Reader Comments (13)
Modern Family is going to steal this plot.
Well DUH, the closet, of course!!! That is SO funny that she was right behind you! HA!
When each of my kids was in Kindergarten, the class made leprechaun traps. Each child made his own trap at home and all traps were set up and "set" at school the day before St. Patrick's Day. When the children arrived on St. Patty's Day, the classroom would be a disaster with green and gold glitter all over and tiny green footprints on everything. The kids LOVED it, but none ever actually caught a leprechaun!
Bwahahahahahahahaha! That is an AWESOME story!
I originally read this at five o'clock this morning. I laughed so loud my husband woke up and that man could sleep through a Kiss concert. I have a similar story involving the ninja toothfairy.
That is hilarious!! These are all AWESOME memories for you guys - Thanksgiving dinners for years to come will be filled with laughter!
Betsy
And thank goodness I now know where to get my Burberry scarves!! Thank you comment number 5.
Wow, it's like the Grinch and Cindy Lou Hoo.
I have had to perfect my ninja-mommy skills due to a daughter (Baby Girl) who can also sense my presence. I think she's a Jedi-in-training...
We made Leprechaun traps, too. I LOVE doing this with them (yeah, I'm a full-out participant in these shenanigans)(maybe I just wanted to use the word "shenanigans")!!
My son came home from school yesterday with a ziploc bag of gold glitter. Glitter in such tiny infinitesimal pieces, it looked like leprechaun barf. I told him that he was not to open that bag under any circumstances. Otherwise, his 2 year old brother would end up covered in it and I'd have to submit it to Shit My Kids Ruined.
Holy cow, that leprechaun trap is adorable. She's so creative!
BAHAHAHAHA!
Ahem.
I mean.....
Nope. That was right....
BAHAHAHA!
She's awesome.
That's so adorable! My daughter blares her TV and music too...and she's only 5! The leprechaun trap is adorable! Very talented. :)
Krissy @ Mommy Miscellaneous