Lessons Learned While Chasing A Bus
It's not really much of a stretch to say that I spend a great deal of my time babysitting adults. Because of that, I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is no difference between "kids these days" and older people. Lazy, rude, irresponsible ... none of it is something that can be blamed on a generational thing. Grandma is just as capable of being a doucheface as is that 19-year old kid down the street.
I'm pretty sure nobody's mom raised them to be a doucheface. It's something some people decide to do all on their own.
Which is all to say, some people do stupid crap without any concern for consequences. Old people do it, young people do it, all sorts of people do it. But, I would really like for my kid to not grow up to be one of those people. That is why I let her fall flat on her face from time-to-time.
This morning was one of those face-flattening moments.
We have a morning routine that depends greatly on Alexis being self-sufficient. I wake her up and make sure she's moving, but then it's up to her to make sure she gets dressed, eats breakfast, brushes her teeth, and combs her hair. The consequences for failure to act like a responsible human being are clear -- I will send her to school in her pajamas.
It hasn't ever actually happened, but just mentioning that it's a possibility is like waving a magic wand and sprinkling cooperation all over the kid.
The thing is, the kid pretty much does what she is supposed to do every single morning. Occasionally, I will have to remind her to get moving, but mostly she's ready to go when I pop into the kitchen ten minutes before the school bus is set to arrive down the street.
But not this morning. If you follow along on Facebook, you already know what happened, but the long of the short is that I walked into the kitchen and found the kid reading a book. She was half dressed, but not really. Her teeth weren't brushed, her hair was a mess, and she hadn't found her shoes yet.
I looked at her and asked a simple question, "Did you notice what time it is?"
She slowly turned her head towards a clock and then she FREAKED OUT. Total panic.
Ten minutes later, she still hadn't brushed her teeth or combed her hair, but I declared her ready enough and shoved her out the front door. The only problem was that the bus was already at the stop -- half a block away. I told Alexis to run. I watched as she turned on her turbo setting and raced her way down the street.
The lights on the bus flashed.
And flashed.
And flashed.
It's downhill from our house to the bus stop, so Alexis had an advantage. She made good use of it, too, and managed to run up to the side of the bus ... just as the bus driver pulled away from the curb. She literally was five feet from making it to that bus door.
The bus driver never saw her. I could mention the bright yellow pants the kid was wearing and the fact that ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME? THE BUS DRIVER DIDN'T CHECK THE MIRRORS.
But whatever.
The fact of the matter is the whole thing never happens if Alexis had gotten dressed like she's supposed to. I won't tell her that I think the bus driver shares in the blame for the whole debacle because OWN YOUR MISTAKES, PEOPLE. There's nothing that makes me consider violence more than when people blame others for their own messes. If you don't put your shoes on until the bus is already in your neighborhood, you're hurting your odds of making it onto that bus. Enough sad.
But ... man. MAN. Alexis' face when she turned around and ran back to the house, sobbing because she had missed the bus ... it was pitiful. There were no further consequences because I knew she was very aware that she had made a mistake. I told her to get in the car, quickly grabbed my purse, and left the house without combing my hair or pouring myself a cup of coffee.
I didn't say a word about how she had impacted me, by the way. I'll save that for a day when she's not already beating the crap out of herself.
During the ride to school, we talked about how the morning could have gone differently. She had good ideas and seemed to learned the lesson she needed to learn. Still, I can't help but hope that she never again feels the misery that she felt when she tried as hard as she could to make something work and it wasn't good enough.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Reader Comments (10)
i DID send a kid to school in his pajamas once ... only once, i should add.
Oh man. I used to spend my high school mornings reading--wait for it--the NEWSPAPER with my cereal. That stinks.
And I've informed my 4 year old far too many times that he can go to school in his pjs or underwear if that's what he wants... It really is like magic.
That is a great lesson. I have to say though, if I told Abby should was going to wear pajamas to school if she didn't get dressed she would be excited. That girl loves to stay in pajamas. It is hard to get her to agree to get dressed on the weekends.
My big threat is that they won't "get" to go to school if they're not ready - we try to treat it like a privilege and it works for the youngest ones. The 4th grader has figured out that this could work to his advantage but he's my early bird and is always up at the butt crack of dawn and dressed before me (It helps when your hair is only 1/8 of an inch long...). He also spends his morning reading in the same manner but he doesn't start until he's got all his stuff together.
Good for you! I use the go-in-your PJs threat as well. So far I haven't needed to follow thru, but I am more than willing to do so if necessary. I figure I'd have to send her once, and that would be the end of that.
I'm sure it was hard to see her so crushed by missing the bus, but I also believe that you did the right thing. The lesson will stick with her for a long time. Good job.
Watching those faces crumple and listening to those sobs as your children learn tough life lessons is one of the hardest parts of parenting. Oof.
Wait, this is a lesson you are supposed to learn when you are 7? A year short of 30 and I'm still constantly chasing after buses or panicking because I HATE being late but probably am 60% of the time.
You know that at least this time she learned the lesson, and I guess we can only hope that if another instance might occur in the future, that at least she learns some valuable lessons as well.
I have also closed the garage door leaving my son behind when he was not getting ready fast enough, but it did the trick because now as soon as he hears the door he is out even if he has his shoes in his hands and just finishes while already in the car.
Yes. Sometimes the lesson in and of itself is consequence enough. LB had one of those yesterday.
Dang readers, btw. ;)
man, that going to school in pajamas thing wouldn't have worked for me. i loved my pj's! and no one in school would have gave me any kinda crap about anything anyhow.