My Ears Are Still Bleeding

We've missed the past few summers because of the magic of Mila, but now we're back to our regularly programmed bike rides. For as long as Alexis has been around, we've found our way to a fun trail, piled onto bikes, and ridden a solid 6-10 miles. Through the years, she has gone from riding in a trailer all the way to riding by herself.

Once.

She rode by herself once.

It only happened once because it turns out the kid has absolutely no interest in focusing for the 30-45 minutes it takes us to ride. Besides that, the once that she did it, she failed to go to the bathroom before riding. The last three miles of the ride were filled with her desperation because HAAAA! At least it wasn't me that needed to go super bad for a change!

She was pretty miserable, though. It was just too far and too long for her to do all alone.

So the next night we drug out the tandem bike (we have an old version of this one -- it rocks). With the theory that the kid who rides tandem is bound to be much more helpful than the one who rides in a trailer, I ended up with Alexis. I wanted the easier ride.

I'm kind of dumb sometimes. "Easier" was a joke because she only pedaled about 10% of the time.

The rest of the time, she was busy recreating the musical/singing episode from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  There were no commercial breaks, though. She just sang and sang and sang, carrying on what would have been a conversation about ALL OF THE THINGS and turning it into a song.

In close quarters.

I mean, she knew I could hear her. She wanted me to hear her. She went on and on because I could hear her.

"Mom, let's have a discussion about poop," she sang.

"Let's not," I replied in a very much so NOT singing voice.

"Yes," she continued. "Let's ... So ... why do you suppose poop is brown? Has it always been called poop? Or was it called something different waaaaaay back when you were a kid?" she sang.

Literally. She literally sang that whole thing.

She also sang about how the state tests are too easy, how much she loves sparkles, the color of her underwear, and absolutely everything in between.

The kid has a lot of words in her head. They all sort of poured out in song as we trekked along the trail.

Which brings me to one realization: the kid knows how to make me crazy and she's not afraid to use her superpowers for evil.