Naked Atop a Mountain of Clothes
There are things that are OK to say when you're sitting naked atop a mountain of clothes. "I have nothing to weeeeeeeear waaaaaaaaaah!" probably isn't on that list, though.
That didn't stop Alexis from having a total and complete meltdown this past weekend. OVER HER WARDROBE CHOICES.
There was something about "nothing fashionable" and "I don't do jeans" and I don't even know what because my head went KABOOOOOOOOOM.
She has nothing fashionable to wear, she says, while sitting atop a very giant mountain of clothing.
This incident came in the midst of a long line of colossally stupid Alexis moments, and this is where I admit it was the moment I broke. All patience was gone and all tolerance for the brand of stupid she's being hauling around was shot. I snapped.
"You have more clothes than I do!" I informed her. It's a true fact. To be honest, I think she probably currently owns more clothing than I've owned in my entire life cumulatively. Spoiled much? YES, SHE IS. I told her as much over and over before realizing that there was even more that I could yell at her about.
"If you would put your laundry away, you might be able to find something to wear!" I yelled. The argument had been going on for a while at that point. The truly mind-blowing part wasn't that I was yelling, it was that she continued to yell back at me.
The kid has balls. They are very clearly not attached to her brain.
"This is a hanger," I snapped as I held a hanger in one hand and a shirt in another. "And this is how you use it," I proceeded to show her in excruciating detail how exactly a person goes about using a hanger to hang up a t-shirt. It's a concept that has been lost on her all of these years. I think she thinks there is a laundry fairy who just magically hangs her things up.
That laundry fairy usually wears jeans and a miserable expression on her face because OMG I AM SO SICK OF HANGING UP THE KID'S CLOTHES.
Which is why I haven't been doing it. Which is probably how the whole stupid yelling match started. Is it still enabling if you realize you do it? Let's go with no.
There was lots of yelling and screaming and a very not smart short person threw some clothes around the room. I countered by yelling and screaming and getting a trash bag so that I could take care of that mountain of clothes myself. Funny how that got her moving on hanging her stuff up. It didn't stop her from continuing to say stupid things, though.
This is where I really need you to tell me that the stupid will end.
Please.
Soon.
Because if I have to deal with a naked short person sitting on top of a mountain of clothes while complaining she has nothing to wear again, I plan to do the Joey wear all the clothes commando thing. Or something.
I'm BEGGING you.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Reader Comments (9)
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Nope, this ain't ending anytime soon. We have the "how to hang up your clothes" conversation weekly with the Howler, who is 10. She has witnessed the wrath of Mom--which includes, but is not limited to actually throwing her clothes out the window--which is why she will eventually do it. We have the "I know you are NOT talking TO ME in that tone" everyday. And yelling of some sort occurs daily. Sorry. If it ever ends, tho, I will let you know.
I am the fourth. When I was a kid, my mother stopped going into my room. She stopped picking up after me when I was old enough to do it myself. While she would do my laundry, I had to get the dirty laundry into the basket, and the clean laundry I had to take to my own room to do with as I wished.
I think that by the time I came around (the lone girl after three boys), she was more sick of cleaning other people's messes than she was sick of the mess. She'd clean the rest of my house, but she allowed it to be my business if I wanted to "live in a pig sty". She'd really only nag me twice or three times a year to clean my room.
And I was allowed to have other kids over. But I had to clean up if I wanted my room to be presentable.
Good luck!
Ha ha ha hahahahahhaaha! She's only what 6, 7? Sorry, honey, you've probably got about 10 more years of this to look forward to.
Ask any man. Balls are rarely attached to the brain.
And no, it doesn't get better. Stay positive, at least she sticks up for herself. Now you just need to channel it to those situations where she is in the right. By the way, when she is a teen, you are never right.
I think it does get better - at least at my house. But, I had to learn to pick my battles with the kids. Crazy statements like "I have nothing to wear" don't fly with me and neither does the disrespectful attitude. Punishment usually comes swiftly and I try not to carry a grudge when they have screwed up my day with their bad attitude.
Sure it gets better! Five minutes after they turn seven, they'll gladly pick up all their stuff. Not just clothes, either. There are no more toys on the floor, empty yogurt wrappers left on the table, cups on the counter, or hair brushes left on the entertainment cabinet. They become completely rational and a pleasure to conversate with. When they tell you they have no homework, they really have no homework, not "just a couple of math pages" to be discovered the next morning over breakfast. All your suggestions, from what to wear to where to eat dinner and/or how to style their hair, are met with enthusiasm.
Sorry, I'm a terrible liar.
I think it happens closer to 25yrs.
13 .... is so not good .... 13 sigh
Sadly, she sounds as stubborn as I was as a kid and you'll be fighting a battle for a few years until its appropriate to hand off the laundry chore to her. I was about 10 when my mom taught me how to do it. I'm really glad she did even though At the time I thought she was the WORST mom in the world. :)
I have a 20 year old college sophomore who is bright, intelligent, outgoing, independent etc...but as soon as she walks through our front door she is our daughter and we are her parents and it's like she's 8 all over again. Lol, good luck on it ending. :)