Name Your Price, Kid

I have a sort of agreement with myself that I won't talk about potty training in this space because obviously. How awful would it be to go on a date with a boy and then find out he read all about your potty training adventures on your mom's blog? That's a special sort of awful. So. I make it a point to not create that sort of trail.

Which.

Well.

I don't really need to because OMG MILA IS NEVER GOING TO GIVE ME ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

Ahem.

While Alexis was Little Miss Let's Check Out Every Restroom Ever But Then Not Do Anything, Mila is Little Miss Nope. Nooope. Nope. Nopity nope nope. She has zero interest in any of it, which, fine. That's cool. Actually, it's more than cool because I already checked out every possible restroom with Alexis all those years ago, so I'm good with not visiting them again. Seriously.

But ... well, this whole thing is confusing. It's confusing because Mila is the most bribeable kid ever, to the point which this conversation is a real thing that happened.

"Mila, pick your sticker up off the floor, please."

"No."

"Mila, pick up your mess now."

<ignoring of words and stuff>

"Mila, do I have to bribe you?"

"Yes, please. I want candy."

Seriously. If I ask Mila if she needs to be bribed, she will consistently say yes and then name her price. It stands to reason that I should be able to find some sort of payment for giving this pottying thing a try. We've thrown gymnastics classes, Hello Kitty pull-ups, and super cute underwear out there.

Mila is interested in the bribes.

But not interested enough to walk into a restroom.

It's a really very good thing I already believed that "training" a kid to do anything is a joke because the only person getting trained these days is me.