Nine Weeks
I planned to tell you about the "huge brick wall" on February 25th. Or, maybe later. Possibly later because how fun would it have been to unveil the news on April Fools Day and then enjoy y'all trying to figure out if I was serious or not?
Instead . . . I . . . I still can't type the words. I can't make myself say what happened because that will make it real. I don't want it to be real. I don't want to admit that the "huge brick wall" fell so hard this weekend. It fell with a million punches to the gut and it felt like my heart was being ripped out along with every ounce of joy I had left. It's gone. The "brick wall" crumbled to pieces and there's nothing left but tears.
The "brick wall" was the most poorly timed thing that has ever happened to us. And, yet, it was the most amazing and hard-fought and wanted sort of news.
He or she was so incredibly wanted.
But now it's over. Far too soon.
We're still incredibly lucky, but I wish with all my heart that we had been given the chance to be luckier.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Reader Comments (143)
Of all the shitty things to happen to amazing people...I am sorry.
But mostly I'm apologizing on behalf of the world--that it wasn't ready for another child as smart, awesome, and just plain adorable as Alexis.
Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration to the rest of us. Seriously.
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family tonight.
I am so sorry, Michelle. So very sorry.
Oh, Michelle. I am so, so sorry. Words are always so inadequate at times like these, but I hope you can at least feel the love behind them. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Found your blog for the first time tonight. The fairy garden post through pinterest. The writing was so much like my own thoughts I was compelled to read more and saw about the accident in January only to come to your most recent post. There are no words, truly nothing other than love and holding your girl tight. My husband and I have made the most difficult decision to not even try for another child because of my medical limitations only a week ago. Hug your girl, you are an amazing mom and life will make sense again before you know it.
Oh man. I just want to go kick something for you. Of all the people out there that don't deserve to have to see that brick wall fall, you are first in line.
I am so sorry. I'd be breaking that no hug rule a million times over if I was there.
love you beautiful...
x
Thoughts and prayers for you and yours.
OH honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could say something that would make it all better.... You deserve all the luck in the world and then some.
I'm so, so sorry. My heart goes out to you and W.
Michelle, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family. So many hugs.
oh no ... I'm so, so sorry
I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. xoxo
I almost never comment here because your blog is such a huge entity, but my heart is breaking for you (and your family of course). I'm so so sorry.
I am so so so sorry to hear of this. Many prayers are coming your way.
I am so incredibly sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.
I am so sorry. I have been there and it is heart-wrenching. He or she knows how much they were wanted and loved. They mattered and they existed.
I am so sorry, Michelle. Huge hugs (even if you don't accept them).
I am terribly sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.
I really wish I could hug you. As if it would help. But words are so inadequate.
I'm so sorry to hear this news. You & your family are in my prayers.
I'm so sorry, Michelle. Truly.
No words other than I'm so very sorry.
Oh, Michelle: I'm so very sorry. I know it has been a rough few months for you. Losing a baby is so devastating. I know because I have been there 3 times. Each time happened on a "special" day--Valentine's Day, my son's birthday and then my birthday. I wish I could take some of the pain away for you but please know how much others care and are there for you. Even though I've been there, it's difficult to find the right words to say. Hang in there and don't hesitate to reach out to others for support or just to talk. Thinking of you and your family.
Michelle, I am terribly sorry. I wish I had words to take away the sorrow.
I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Crying with you. Heartbroken for you. So very sorry.
I'm so sorry -- keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
Tears for you and your family. I know how tough this is and you are so strong to share. I'm so sorry.
and here i was coming over to comment on your gorgeous cupcakes ... so very sorry. A traveler of this road, its not the journey we hope for ....
Oh no.
I am so sorry. So sorry.
Sending prayers and love to you and your family.
So sorry. Will keep you in our prayers.
So sorry Michelle, I wish there was something we could do to make it better, but I know there isn't really anything. But I hope it helps a little to know so many people care.
oh michellle! My heart absolutely breaks for you. I went through this last year (I was at 8 ½ weeks) and it sucks. Hard. I will be thinking of you and your family and even though you aren’t a fan, I am sending you a giant bear hug. XOXO
As many others have said. there are no words...just thinking of you today. So, so sorry.
I am so sorry
Many tears have been shed in our family this weekend too. Same story as yours. We found out on Christmas Eve that maybe this year our luck would change. Our wall just crumbled too. Hugs to you and your family. We may live a world apart but our lives are so similar. Hope you are doing ok.
i hate that i have no words that can make this all better. i hate that you know such pain and loss.
so very, very sorry. hugs and more hugs and some very choice colorful language
Keep breathing. That's all you can do. There's a song by Ingrid Michaelson called "Keep Breathing" that got me through a loss of a baby at 20 weeks gestation. When all I wanted to do and all I needed was to cry, this song helped me through. There's so much thinking about what could have been, but it will get better, I promise. Let those around you support you. xoxoxo
So terribly sorry for your loss. Sending prayers to you and your family.
I'm so very sorry.
I am so sorry for you loss. I wish there were better words to say. I am sorry that so many people have to face such a heartbreaking thing. I can't even imagine your pain, I can only say that I wish for it to be relieved by the love of your family and friends.
Huge hugs to you. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, sending hugs and prayers your way.
Oh, sending so much love to you and your family. ♥
So very, very sorry to hear this.
No other words except those.
Oh no...... I know personally, that it's no enough- but so sorry for your loss. And remember, your Internet peeps are here for ya.
Oh my, we r so very very sorry. We are thinking of you guys at this time. We are here always. Lots of hugs, kisses and love your way. Xoxo. Hang in there;)
I'm so very sorry. That completely sucks and is not fair! I wish I could make it better for you.