Nine Weeks
I planned to tell you about the "huge brick wall" on February 25th. Or, maybe later. Possibly later because how fun would it have been to unveil the news on April Fools Day and then enjoy y'all trying to figure out if I was serious or not?
Instead . . . I . . . I still can't type the words. I can't make myself say what happened because that will make it real. I don't want it to be real. I don't want to admit that the "huge brick wall" fell so hard this weekend. It fell with a million punches to the gut and it felt like my heart was being ripped out along with every ounce of joy I had left. It's gone. The "brick wall" crumbled to pieces and there's nothing left but tears.
The "brick wall" was the most poorly timed thing that has ever happened to us. And, yet, it was the most amazing and hard-fought and wanted sort of news.
He or she was so incredibly wanted.
But now it's over. Far too soon.
We're still incredibly lucky, but I wish with all my heart that we had been given the chance to be luckier.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Reader Comments (143)
I'm so sorry, and you are so very not alone.
I'm so sorry to hear this! Thinking of you....
I'm so sorry for your loss, Michelle. -- Susan
I know you're not into hugs. Sorry. Can't resist. *hugs* You're in my prayers.
I'm a relatively new reader and a never-commenter, but just had to reach out to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. There are just no words for this or for anything else you've been through recently. I hope it's a small comfort to know that there are many 'strangers' out there that are routing for you and your family.
Oh Michelle.....I know what this feels like, and won't make any promises. But you are an amazing and strong person, and you will handle this with grace and poise. My admiration for you is endless, and my thoughts are with you.
Michelle, I'm so sorry. I am actually going through the same thing right now. I began to miscarry over the weekend (on my birthday. happy birthday, right?) and my doctor confirmed it today. I am heartbroken, and am heartbroken for you, too.
Wishing for peace for you and your family. Take care.
Oh, Michelle. I'm so, so sorry. Sending hugs and love. Be gentle with yourself, please.
I'm so sorry. I wish that I had more words.
I wondered why I couldn't get you off my mind yesterday. Oh sweetheart. I'm so sorry. Prayers for peace, comfort, and understanding for you all. <3
So very sorry for your loss. Crying with you right now.
{{ hugs }}
I'm so sorry...
Although I know how much you hate them...I have a BIG HUG with your name all over it - followed by a BIG MARGARITA. And you know how much I know about where you're at. If you need someone to listen, all you have to do is ask.
My heart is breaking so badly for you. Sending you lots of love and prayers.
I'm just so sorry, Michelle.
I'm so sorry to hear this. (Can't think of anything else to say that would take away the hurt)
I just saw this now. After I emailed you. So I look like an asshole.
Sending so much love right now. So much.
Having been there twice myself (once at 11 weeks and once at 8 weeks, just 2 weeks ago, in fact), my heart goes out to you and your husband. I know you're hurting and, even though we've never met, I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug (without creeping you out, of course).
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I pray and hope your valley is over and the climb up the hill has started.
I have no words that will help. I am sad for you. I have prayed for you.
I am so, so sorry.
I'm sorry for your loss. Sending healing thoughts your way. It's courageous of you to share this with us, and it will undoubtedly help someone else who is going through or has gone through this to not feel so alone.
My prayers to you and your family.
I am sorry for your loss. I know that pain all to well....it does get easier but never goes away. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.
I have no idea what you are going through and I wish I could say more than I'm so, so sorry ... But that's all I've got. :(
Sending love & prayers your way. I've had two miscarriages and know how badly it hurts. Just know that you aren't alone--we're all thinking of you.
I'm so sorry. Thinking of y'all right now.
Oh, I am so very sorry. Sending love and strength.
I'm so, so sorry. I've been praying for you guys. In the middle of one night I put two and two together, and I've been hurting on your behalf ever since. Michelle, I'm so sorry. I wish life didn't have to hurt so badly at times.
<Hugs> I myself just had a miscarriage last week...found out the baby didn't have a heartbeat anymore at my 9 week appointment. I could copy and paste this whole post like I wrote it myself. Chin up! :o)
So sorry. :(
Please know you're loved very much. So sorry to hear this news. Sending my love to you all. xx
So so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Sending lots of good thoughts and vibes.
Oh I Am SO Sorry!!! I am virtually hugging you with all my might.
Sending you strength and light to get through this tough and dark time.
It doesn't seem like enough, but I have been thinking about you and wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Infertility and struggling to conceive is so, so hard, and to have it and then have it gone... I have no words. Just big hugs, and lots of thoughts and prayers.
I was trying to think of something to say but there are no words. The best I can say is I am sorry.
Saying I'm sorry doesn't seem like nearly enough. And yet, I am. I am so incredibly sorry for you all. My heart aches for you. I wish I could make it better.
Thinking of you all.
I'm a few days late to this sad news but nonetheless my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry. There are no words to make it better but know that you are thought of.
I'm so, so sorry. How heartbreaking.
oh michelle, i know so well what you must be feeling. i am so incredibly sorry for your loss. there are no words. i want you to know that i am here for you if you ever just want to talk. you and me need to go on a major girls shopping trip and bring alexis with us. my prayers are with you and mr husband lol) please do not hesitiate to let me know if i can do anything at all for you. higs and prayers are sent your way.
I am so sorry. :(
Michelle, I am so so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. You guys are in my thoughts!
HUGS