Nobody Cares
It kind of blows my mind, but absolutely nothing has changed with the rhetoric around breastfeeding in the eight years between the girls. Eight years ago we were discussing how very hard it is to breastfeed, we were shaming moms who rely on formula, and we were arguing about whether or not it's OK to feed a baby in public.
We still have all of those same things. The same words get passed around, like some ridiculous game of Pong that just won't end.
The thing is, we seem to focus on the negative. Always have, always will. I suppose that's in part because there is still stuff like this being said in public places:
(By the way, there's no need to go tell that Pittsburgher to take a chill pill. She already self-diagnosed the real problem.)
But I think all of the rhetoric that never stops ignores one thing: it's not always drama and hardship. For every person who tweets something like that up there, there are 100 people who just plain don't care.
I mean that in the best way possible, by the way. There are a whole lot of people who don't care if you feed your baby in public. They don't say a word. They don't stare. They don't make faces. They just continue on with life, often not acknowledging that a baby is eating.
During Mila's short life, she has dined on a bench at Kennywood.
Nobody cared.
She has grabbed a quick snack at Target.
Nobody cared.
She has enjoyed a leisurely lunch at Starbucks.
Nobody cared.
Mila has worked her way through a multi-course meal in literally dozens of parking lots.
Nobody cared.
She eats 7-8 times per day each and every day, often in public, but not a single person has made a remark, looked uncomfortable, or even acknowledged that she was eating.
It's not always an uphill battle.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Reader Comments (7)
Nobody cared about Roozle nursing all the time either. In bars, at daycare when she refused bottles, all the times. If anything, people were supportive, but yeah, mostly just didn't care.
And hiiiii Mila!
I always think things MUST be changing...and then they aren't. I guess there have always been mommy wars, it's just now we've given them a name (and probably their own social media outlet...). I'm glad no one has given you any grief. No one really ever said anything to me but I was SO self-conscious (my own doing).
Good gravy, that baby is SO adorable!
I am one of many who don't care. Feed and love your baby in public. I don't care.
She is such a sweetie!
I never had any problems when I was nursing (15 years ago for the oldest and 12 years ago for the youngest) and I nursed anywhere and everywhere; college ballgames, restaurants, stores. If the kids were hungry they ate. I just wish the voices of a few weren't so loud because the believe that a majority of the people really don't care.
Even if you choose (or need) to formula-feed, you'll have the voices. How about each-to-their-own? I EP'ed and you'd think I was a murderer if I pulled out a bottle in public. No win.
Most people don't care. My younger son was nursed all over the Pittsburgh area. No one ever said anything to me. There was only one waiter that noticed and seemed a bit uncomfortable or maybe just surprised to realize what I was doing. He never said anything though.
I'm a person who finds breastfeeding disgusting. It doesn't bother me to see others doing it and I don't have any negativity toward anyone who does breastfeed. It's just that I could not find it in me to relax with it I'm just not that type of person. So from the other side of the fence, I was told numerous times how horrible a mom I was for not breastfeeding and that every sniffle or sneeze or flu was MY fault because I didn't breastfeed my kids. Everyone should do what is right for them.