Nuts.
There are a million things more deserving of my frustration right now, but you know what has my undivided attention? GNATS.
Mother-effin gnats.
Every since we all became locked in our houses, we've had a pretty steady stream of gnats wandering around the house. I believe it all started with a topiary that came from either Home Depot or Lowes. It had a major infestation that I didn't notice for the first day or two. I did manage to find it and go on a destructive bender, but it was too late. Gnats on plants are kind of like opening one of those trick cans of snakes. Once they're out, it's tough to stuff them back in and you might just poke an eye out.
So. A gnat here and there. One or two in the kitchen. One or two in my office. I keep finding the source, even as it moves, and destroying it. So it stays steady at one or two.
But now they're in the half bathroom.
I'm baffled. There are no plants or fruit or anything fun in there, unless we're counting my autographed photo of Ryan Seacrest gazing lovingly at a bottle of Coca-Cola. That's definitely fun. Still, I probably can't blame it for the gnats.
I have tried everything.
I tried the whole "maybe they're in the drain" thing, but nope. I've searched for moisture, like a leaking pipe Nothing. I have scrubbed every inch of that tiny bathroom and cannot find where they're coming from. Alas, there is exactly one each time I go in there. Each time I murder that one, but somehow it calls out to a friend to replace it. One at a time, over and over, I'M LOSING MY MIND.
Maybe they're coming from the vent that connects to outside? That seems like a terrible idea, but maybe?
Regardless, I'm about to go nuclear. Normally this sort of thing wouldn't even land on my radar, but when we've had over a year of pure stupid all around? It's gnats that break me.
Gnats.
Tuesday, August 3, 2021
Reader Comments (3)
I recommend you get a murder-racket. It won't help with the infestation but it will make killing the few gnats you find so much more rewarding. I'm not sure what the actual name is but I think it was made by Spectracide or one of the big insect murdering companies. I found mine at either Home Depot or Walmart, it is black and looks like a toy tennis racket with a metal mesh. You put two AA batteries in it and when you press the button any insects (and possibly children) that touch the mesh make a very satisfying pop. There is even a nice spark to liven up the murder.
Last time that happened to me, I made gnat traps. So easy!
Wide mouth container
Plastic wrap
Rubberband (optional)
2T apple cider vinegar*
1t sugar
4 drops dish detergent
water
Mix vinegar, sugar, and dish wash together in a wide-mouthed container.
Add water about 3/4ths of the way to the top of the container.
Cover rim tightly with plastic wrap (I also used a rubber band around the rim just to be sure).
Using a sharp knife, cut a few slits in the plastic wrap.
Leave the container in the kitchen or other problem areas.
I was going to recommend the same thing Mary said. It worked like a charm for me.
And in Pittsburgh, shouldn't it be N@'s?