Oh, Yeah. That PodCamp Presentation.
PodCamp was like eleventy seventeen bajillion years ago and I've been meaning to post the video of my presentation for sixtyteen of those years. WHOOPS. Time to fix that.
So.
I did the same presentation this year as I did last, but the information was updated a bit to reflect changes in the blogging universe and so that I could make sure to focus on the thing I most wanted people to walk away knowing. The first year I did the presentation on finding fodder for blogging, I wanted people to walk away understanding that continuous and successful blogging is all about doing what makes *you* happy, and that you have to know WHY you blog to stay true to that. This year I still wanted that message to come across, but I also wanted to add a little something.
Your blog is yours; do what you want with it. However, you need to recognize there are consequences to your actions.
I added the slight twist for one very simple reason--I'm really, really, really, really tired of seeing blogs get deleted because the author was douchey enough to write cruel words about someone and that someone found out.
For example, there was a Pittsburgh mom blog who wrote about how her sister was a"stupid selfish wench." It was an anonymous blog that used all fictitious names, but I'm pretty sure if you were the sister and found a story about a fight over who was right in a battle over the care of a terminally ill parent, you knew it was about you. It probably really hurt to find out that your very own sister thought you were being selfish, short-sighted, and really only wanted to move mom to an assisted living home so you could get your grubby little hands on the antique furniture.
I don't *know* that the sister found the blog. I just know that one day it was there, the sister-bashing on full-screen display, and the next day every little inkling of it had been deleted. From where I was sitting, it was a simple sort of situation. I have to imagine that the two people involved weren't exactly have their best of days and certainly didn't find the situation to be "simple."
I could list 20+ other examples of blogs that disappeared because the author forgot that it's never a good idea to say something about someone that you wouldn't say to his or her face. It doesn't matter if it's an "anonymous" blog. It doesn't matter if it's a "secret" blog. It doesn't matter if you think it's well-hidden. It will be found eventually. And, even if it isn't, do you really feel better after venting to a bunch of strangers? Does it really solve anything? Is that really the best way you know how to deal with a personal conflict?
Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. Here's the full video of the presentation, wherein I got to stand on my soapbox a little bit more. :-)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Reader Comments (15)
Amen.
A. Yeah, it does feel good to let it all out.
B. But then it sure makes you feel like a complete ass when you aren't as "hidden" as you wished you were.
C. You've then gained nothing. A lot of nothing.
(totally wishing it wasn't way past my bedtime and I could watch the whole video right now!)
To me, it's like a flaming email. It took me a number of years to figure out that I really need to calm down before I send an email that puts some workplace dip in his place, and definitely let someone else read it first. Many lives have been spared (including my own) due to that hard won foresight.
Same thing with flaming blog posts. Thank you for reiterating the message.
&%&($#! There goes the post I just spent hours writing that trashes that crazy Pumpkin Princess Drag Queen lady. Kidding!
Delete key. Use it.
My standard practice if I am writing angry is to type in the entire thing and then save it to draft. If, in the morning it still seems like a good idea, I would publish it. So far, in nearly three years and over 500 posts, I don't think I have ever decided to click publish. Usually just the act of writing it is cathartic enough. My golden rule is that if anyone would be embarrassed/angered/hurt by what I am writing, then I won't post it.
(I'll have to come back later and watch your presentation, which I am sure was stellar! I'm sitting in bed with sleeping husband next to me.)
Like the previous commenter I was in bed watching your presentation while my husband was trying to fall asleep. He kept asking me, "What are you watching?" I really enjoyed your presentation. It makes me want to give a lot more thought to my blog and I why I am blogging. Being a military family, and far from family that is why my blog got started. A way for everyone to keep up with our family. I totally relate to the procrastination. I try to follow the rule of not writing about something I wouldn't say to their face.
ps You looked fantastic in THAT dress *wink.* You are such a good sport! You do so much for your community.
I do not get along with my sister (and only sibling). There have been numerous incidents over the last year (which is just about the full life of my blog) that I have wanted to vent about online because I don't understand how my sister can be the way she is. But I have not done so, despite being sorely tempted, because you have it exactly right. It will be found. It will cause problems. It will not solve a single thing between us. I also know from my Stat Tracker program that she (and my parents) regularly reads my blog so whatever I write about her will get read.
It's also the biggest reason that my Twitter stream remains locked. It is the *one* place online that my sister has no presence and it remains the one place that I can say something uncomplimentary without too much fear.
Ultimately, this is the also reason I chose not to use made up names for my family on my blog (although I don't use our last name) and why I share pictures as well - nothing is ever as anonymous as you think it is. Just ask Ginny about that. With my tendency to be an open book, I would easily give enough away for someone to figure it out so why even bother to hide it?
It's an important thing to consider and it's great that you made a point of talking about it. I remember watching the footage of your presentation from last year and finding it incredibly useful in terms of what I was doing with my fledgling blog. Thanks for sharing your knowledge!
I have so many, many things I would love to talk about on my blog but don't, for fear of hurting someone. I actually hold back more than I probably even need to. one time I wrote something about a coworker (not anything bad or mean, but I mentioned that she had hurt my feelings) and she read it and came and apologized. And even though it all turned out fine, I felt bad that she found out that way.
So now, I hold it all back and then let it all loose in email or DM form to my friend the pretty pumpkin princess.
That's good advice. Sadly, I tend to say things in person that tick people off, so this may not work for me. LOL! Seriously, I find myself holding back on a lot of things. It's not always easy because my blog is ALL about my kids and some of the stuff that people do in relation to them makes me pretty mad. I would love to get the internet's opinion but since those who irritate me also religiously read my blog, I refrain (unless I can do so in an obviously humorous way). I'll probably comment again when I have enough *free* time to watch the podcast...
true. so very true.
which is why sometimes i think about going back and password protecting the posts i did for about a year as a part of the half nekkid thursday thing. i won't "edit myself" so i haven't, but i am certain some people got much more than they bargained for when they started reading my blog.
Such good advice! I am an over-sharer by nature, and when I'm upset I need to vent. But I call up my sister or a good friend. People who will understand that I'm just venting. And even then, I watch what I say and how I say it.
And I never blog something that I might regret. I've come close a couple times, but like others, I sit on it and have my husband read it, and usually I figure it out that it's not a good idea.
Such timely advice. :-) I will restrain myself this weekend, not matter how strong the temptation!
You are priceless! I love this blog!
I went to your presentation both last year and this, and walked away both times with some very valuable information! Great job!
Great advice. Really a lot of wonderful insights. Inspirational and validating at the same time. Thanks!
Very smart addition. I studied privacy policy at CMU. Unlike privacy zealots, I do post to social media and the Internet, but I am mindful of the potential consequences of what I post. I try to encourage friends and family to do the same. I'm shocked at some of the things I see people post to blogs, Twitter, or Facebook. Because of how data is stored and copied on the Internet it is naive to assume that a pseudonym or a current set of privacy settings will keep something hidden forever. Is getting that LOL or commiserating comment now worth what might happen if that friend, family member, or co-worker finds that later? And since with caching and copying it is difficult to fully erase anything from the Internet it's always best not to post it in the first place.
Good job. (Will have to watch the video later, but I'm sure it's fabulous.)