Pavlovian Conditioning

The details aren't important because, really, they won't make anyone feel all warm and fuzzy except me. While I like to feel warm and fuzzy, it's not worth the collateral damage admitting the details would cause. So, the short version of the story is Mila Is A Great Sleeper.

I've mentioned that before. It continues to be true, despite the fact that I've done almost everything possible to jinx things.

But here's the thing -- I'm an idiot who can't seem to wrap her brain around the Great Sleeper thing. Like, I know it, but I don't believe it.

Do you know how many things you can get done when you're convinced that the baby will wake up any minute so you shouldn't go to bed?

ALL OF THE THINGS.

I have finished crocheting blankets. I have tagged and organized thousands of photos. I have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. I have not done any of the things that legit super duper need done, but that's a whole other issue. The point is, I'm convinced that tonight will be the night that Mila wakes up fifteen times, so I'm waiting up for her.

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

I have done exactly that every single night for weeks now. Why go to bed before 2:00 am when you just know TONIGHT the baby will wake up?

I've been pondering just how dumb the whole thing is all week. I've been considering how nice it would be to go to bed just after Mila and what all those hours of sleep would be like. I bet I'd be able to fly if I got 8-10 hours of sleep one night.

At 2:30 am last night, I reached the pinnacle of my "I'm an idiot" bender. I was lost in an internet wormhole with no intent to go to bed at any time in the near future. Just as I started to berate myself in my head, I heard it.

That sound.

That sound that makes me wish invisibility cloaks were a thing.

Tiny footsteps. I heard tiny footsteps descending the stairs.

"Momma, I can't sleep," Alexis said.

Oh, yeah. THAT. That is why I'm convinced Mila will wake up at any second. I've been trained by the best.