Screw the Impossibilities
They say lightning can't strike the same place twice, but I'm here to tell you that's not true. Lightning strike Number Two is snoring softly across the room right now.
The first time lightning struck, it was luck. The second time, it was luckier because that time we knew. We knew that we were being gifted with something that was just this side of impossible.
When luckier happens, a lot changes. All those years of fighting impossibilities is supposed to dissipate and you're supposed to just be grateful. And I am. But, the impossibilities found their way into my soul. They aren't leaving. So, what other people think and what I think aren't quite aligned.
I know the impossibilities lost, but I don't always feel it. I still get that twinge of jealousy when there's a lightning strike announcement. I still fight the urge to roll my eyes when someone complains about having a bunch of lightning strikes close in age. I know it's hard to parent a bunch of lightning strikes close in age, but do those parents realize how much harder it is for some people to get lightning to strike once, let alone a bunch of times in quick succession?
It's not fair to anyone, but what about life is fair?
The hardest thing about being on this side of two lightning strikes, though, is knowing. You know how very worth all of it they are. You know how fantastic life can be. You so badly want everyone to get a chance to see for themselves.
I want all of you who are fighting the impossibilities to feel the amazingness that is a lightning strike.
I wish wanting was enough to make it happen.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Reader Comments (11)
I wish that too. Glad you got your first and second strikes. :)
You made me cry on this one. Still waiting for my lightning strike - wouldn't it be so much easier if wanting was all it took?
I wish it too. Lovely post.
i don't even want a lightning strike and this made my eyes leak. well written.
you have a magnificent outlook on life.
Oh how I wish that for everyone that wants it, so well said. I get those out of habit twinges of jealousy too. I know I'm extraordinarily lucky to have what I have. When my patience runs thin and I'm on the verge of being the bad mom, knowing that I could just as easily still be wanting brings me back. No doubt the years of not knowing make me a better mom, yet those twinges are so slow to fade.
This showed up in my Facebook feed because a friend "liked" it - I've never seen this blog. But how fitting as I was sitting in the RE's office waiting for my first visit to officially start our IVF cycle (our 'hail mary' as my husband calls it) when I read it. Needless to say...tears ;) Praying for that lightning strike!
Big wishes for another lightening strike for you. xoxo
Thank you for this. As my first turns 5 I long for another and the distance keeps growing, Praying that lightning strikes soon but I appreciate seeing how yours growing up works so well.
:-)
That's all I got (mostly because I don't know how to add an emoticon with a tear).
I'm not sure what to say except thank you. Thank you for understanding, even though the only way to truly understanding is to have experienced the unfairness too. And thank you for wanting it for others as badly as you wanted it for yourself. It's a horrible club to be in, but it definitely helps to not be in it alone :(
So much love for you!!!