She Has People

Open House.

If ever there were two words that can make me want to shrivel up into a tightly wound ball and rock quietly in the corner, those are the words. I know it's ridiculous that I despise all things Open House, but there it is. I would rather watch a kid wiggle loose teeth (shudder) than slog around a school for Open House.

Guess what brings Mila ALL OF THE JOY? Of course she loves Open House. OF COURSE. She speaks fondly of the last one she had, which was kindergarten. She can tell you about how we talked to her teacher and ran around the whole school and there was even an ice cream truck outside so she got a treat that night. I remember it as an evening of misery and having to fake extrovert, but Mila loved it all.

You know what can really put a damper on Open House? A pandemic. We didn't have one at all last year, a thing which I will forever cherish, but this year? Oh, we're back. No matter that elementary school kids aren't vaccinated and no matter that we probably shouldn't shove hundreds of people inside a building, we have to Open House. It's the public school law.

::eyeroll::

I would have skipped it. I wanted to skip it. But, Mila. She's a mother truckin' ray of sunshine bundled in joy and she was so very excited about the notion of showing me her desk and introducing me to her new best friends. I couldn't come up with a valid excuse to not go that wasn't something like "I don't want to" or "Pandemic-ish" so blurgh. We went.

There were a fair amount of precautions taken to keep things safe, which let's just say is a nice thing to see. We shouldn't be here, but we're in a place where it's positively delightful when schools follow the science and enforce masking and distancing and all of those things. So, yay!

But uuuuugh. Open House. Mila drug me up and down every hall and showed me her desk and then drug me to the other end of the building and I swear I ran a marathon in 20 minutes. I legit needed a nap or ten after being drug all around the place. Of course Mila found a friend so they turned into the Golden Girls gossiping and laughing and telling stories. They were the Golden Girls on speed, though, so they sped up the marathon and covered even more ground running back and forth in the school.

And then Mila disappeared. Her friend was still in sight, but Mila just plain vanished. Like, she was lost. Completely lost.

It's not great losing your kid in a public place, but I think if you're going to do it, their school is a solid choice. At least I knew she knew her way around? I wandered up and down the halls, checking every classroom, with her friend playing the role of Sophia and being all, "Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppy" and running around in pursuit.

It took a solid 10 minutes to find the kid. Which, that was swell. I definitely wanted to spend an extra ten minutes at Open House. Even better that I spent it without a kid at my side and trying to be nonchalant about the fact that I had no clue where she was.

Eventually she showed up. She was with an entire herd of kids because apparently she is the Pied Piper of Open House and built a posse while she was missing? I don't know. I do know it started out with her needing to use the restroom and not thinking to tell anyone that was where she was going. From there, she just started picking up other peoples' kids so that lots of parents could be failures like me and lose their kid at Open House.

Way to make it a memorable event, Mila.