She Says They Cost 99 Cents
If you want to see smoke shoot out of my ears, ask me when we've having another baby. I loath that question. SO MUCH. Beside the fact that it's really nobody's business but our own, it's also one of those questions that is far more complicated than meets the eye. I'd rather burn a hole in your soul with my irritated-laser-beam-vision than get into the explanation. So don't ask.
Alexis likes to skirt around that little topic pretty much every day. She makes it no secret that the theory of a baby brother or sister sounds fantastic. I'm not entirely sure she would love everything about the reality of it all, but the theory? The theory she really likes. She'll say things like, "I wish I had a baby brother," or "You need a baby in your tummy."
Yeah. Thanks, daycare, for adding that little line to her repertoire.
A few nights ago, we all sat gathered around the table eating dinner. Alexis started in on her "I need a baby brother" business. Mr. Husband is pretty steadfast in his opinion on this whole thing, so he told her, "Not a chance." She rebutted. He rebutted. She persisted. He persisted. Next thing I know, I'm listening to my 4-year old daughter and my husband argue over whether or not *I* need to have a baby in my tummy.
Funny how the people who don't have to actually do the pregnancy thing are quick to offer their opinions.
Eventually I got the two of them to shut their traps, but not before Alexis offered up another alternative to the whole thing where she thinks I need to find her a baby brother. "I know!" she said. "We can go to the baby store and buy a little brown boy!"
If you're in Pittsburgh, check between IKEA and the mall. Apparently there is a store selling babies for cheap.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Reader Comments (35)
Ha! You are so right on the rest of the world seeming to know EXACTLY what should and should not be or come from our uterus.
If you don't have a uturus you don't get a vote.
(Dear Alexis - you must have a post-puberty uturus. Sorry.)
I spelled uterus wrong. That's what happens when you quit blogging.
Looks like that kitty might be the next best thing.
I think she meant go to the bakery and buy a gingerbread man. :-)
Yeah, Diva used to pray for years for a baby brother or sister. Then after 4 years of everyone trying to persuade me I caved. Nightmare from conception through the birth and the outcome - well you all know of Boy Child. So I think that Diva has wished she could take it all back and be the only Diva in the house - LOL!
According to my three-year-old (at the time), babies come from Babies R Us. There used to be one right near my grocery store...
I can send Samantha Alexis' way. Baby brothers are super fun until they start to rip the heads off your favorite princess Barbies, knock over the dollhouse you spent an hour arranging just so, rip pages out of your coloring book, break your crayons, steal your sippy cup (no stinky milk spills in OUR living room) and drain it in 10 seconds... the list goes on...
Personally, I think the little babies are a barrel of laughs and fun - even if they come with a 5 year old in her sleeping bag on our floor most nights.
A little brown boy? That's awesome. I am curious as to why only children of a certain race are available at the store. Perhaps the others are mail order only. Then you'd have to pay shipping.
Hmm.
Has Alexis been paying too much attention to the celebrity adoption scene? Because they sure make it look easy, don't they?
She should come over here for a day and see if LB doesn't drive her BAT CRAZY. He sure seems to drive BB BAT CRAZY.
Tee Hee:) That is funny!
The "when are you having another one?" question ALWAYS ruffled my skirt and put my britches in a bunch. None. Of. Your. Damn. Business.
My in-laws were FAMOUS for asking. Finally, I'd had enough. Each time they'd ask (primarily my FIL), I'd have some smart-ass answer: when YOU pay for everything associated with another child; when YOU buy me a house; when YOU can find a way for the husband to get pregnant. And then it changed to "another what? Dog? Cupcake? Pair of shoes?"
They FINALLY shut the frack up about it. FINALLY!
Of course, only because I got pregnant and am now 8 weeks away from having the little turd.
;)
That's funny. I'm scared now that if our kids ever meet, they might run off together. He's just what she's looking for (well, half-brown anyway), and he loves strong older girls.
I don't get the question- I get the silent judging from my mom. She'll say things like, "Hmmm, you'll be 34 this year? You know so and so is having her second. That will be so nice for their family." I haven't figured out a good way to tell her we're leaning towards the not-so-much-with-having-a-second. Perhaps a singing telegram?
For the not-so-subtle demand from Alexis....just explain to her over and over again why SHE is everything you could ever want. And if that doesn't work, give it another year, then find a 3 year old friend/cousin who will follow her around saying her name over and over and over and over again, and who will demand 110% of her attention all the time they are together. Then, when she complains, say, "THAT is what a baby brother or sister will be like" It won't shut her down entirely, but it will slow her up quick!
Yeah my son played that card when he was little. Then I pulled the... ok are you prepared to share all of your toys and not have all the attention all of the time and so on... I got the point across and I think it was around your baby girls age! Spin it in your favor. I still only have my son..... he is now 18. :-) All is well in our 3 family world.
Gabriel has told me in no uncertain terms that I'm to have a baby sister for him. I told him not unless I'm married. So now he's onto that...
What annoys me is how when people see you with ONE kid they shriek "You JUST have ONE?" "Don't you want more?", like it is freakish and weird not to have the proper amount, which is apparently TWO. We need to think of a good response for that. You got any ideas?
@Jen--I got nothing. Everything I have tried is apparently an invitation to continue the conversation. There's nothing more fun than discussing reproductive health with the cashier at Giant Eagle. :-/
I just stumbled across this site and thought this post was hilarious. I'm currently pregnant, with my THIRD. Yes, THIRD lol. Before I had my second, I constantly had that question 'Are you planning for more? When are you going to have another one'. These questions started about 3 months after my oldest was born. It got old constantly being asked that. It happened after our second child too. My oldest was excited to have a little sister. Now that she knows ANOTHER sister is coming, she's not to excited. She's 4 and when we announced it and told her, we got "Not again..." haha. She knows exactly what comes with having a younger sibling. Lucky for her, we plan on no more baby sisters.
Let her borrow Kate as a little sister for a day (or a week). She'll change her tune. Trust me.
Hilarious. I wonder if you can find buy one/get one coupons in the Red Plum circular...
Well maybe you should check (kidding!!) because in the meantime, she has to blame the cat for everything and look how well THAT'S working for her. :-)
NOTE TO SELF: Never, ever ask a Mommy if she plans to have more! Ever :D
We told our daughter her little brother came from a kit... which explained by he had green eyes and blond hair when the rest of us had dark hair and brown eyes.
Asking a mom when she's having another baby is as bad as asking a woman when she's due and she's not even pregnant. If you value your life, find a different question.
Well dang, I wish I had known that - could have saved myself a lot of time and paperwork ;)
The other night at a baseball game, Caroline announced to everyone, loudly I might add, and in front of my Step-Mother "You have a baby in your tummy!"
Um. No, I don't. I just look like it. thanks a lot, kid!
Ha, I loath that question. My own mother started making a baby blanket and then proceeded to tell my sister and I that, "whoever gets pregnant first gets the blanket." Thanks mom. Like we can control when we get pregnant. Like we both haven't been trying for ages. It's a lot more complicated than what they teach you in high school.
My favorite is when my advisors at school tell me that I should get pregnant. Excuse me? So you're going to pay for the baby then? People are dumb. :)
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if/when were going to have a second, I could probably replace our AC. I think my relatives should be thanking me for not having another grandchild/niece/nephew to buy for. And the rest of the world should be glad that we are putting one less person on this planet. You know, the environment and all that other stuff.
I told my daughter that she gets all our love, but her "siblinged" cousins have to share their mom's and dad's love with each other. It works most of the time.
aww. I'm sorry. You have no idea how MUCH i understand. I caved with Bella. *headdesk*
My favorite is getting asked "when" I'm having one!
"When are you having kids?"
"We're not."
"Oh, come on, you've gotta have kids!"
No, I most certainly do not. I LOVE kids, they're just not for me.
People need to mind their own business.
Jen,
My cousin told me I'm not a real mom because I only have mom.... I'm ok with that. LOL
oops I only have one... not mom.
Ugh! I hear ya. Most people have stopped asking us, although my husband's extended family STILL asks. My mother, however, has started with the guilt trips. "It's just so sad because Eva would make such a good big sister......". Yes she would, but I can't change that my body responds to pregnancy by trying to kill me (literally). Deal, people.
All you can really do is play the hand that you're dealt. For now Eva has the animals as siblings, and I hope that she'll be close with her cousins and friends, and that maybe that'll make up for it a little bit. One day she'll understand, and I'm sure Alexis will too.
Mine's stock answer when asked if he wants a baby brother or sister is "Not even one!!"
Let me tell you, my mother LOVES to hear that one. :P
When my sister was pregnant with her triplets people would ask them "are they natural?" all the time. I loved my brother-in-laws response when someone asked him if the yet-to-be-born babies were "man made". He replied (with a big smile) "Yes, and I'm the man."