Stitch

Sometimes I jinx things into happening.

Last week, there was a random conversation that led to discussion about those online "Which Disney Princess are you?" quizzes. After some back-and-forth, I revealed that my children were DEFINITELY Belle and ... Stitch. I have to write-in Stitch for you-know-who because THAT is precisely the Disney character that most sums up her essence. She tries to do the right thing, sometimes goes WAY off course, but generally finds her way to good in the end. Also, she's adorable. Stitch is definitely more her speed than an actual Disney Princess.

The day that conversation came up happened to be the same day I had a work thing that was scheduled to run really late. That caused a domino effect that resulted in Mila being home and expected to go to bed at an early hour with me swooping in late in the night. So, Mila. Bed. That is where she was supposed to be when I walked in.

Obviously, she wasn't. She was on the couch watching a movie just feet from the scene of a crime. I believe a unicorn exploded? Or was murdered? Or ... something? I'm not entirely sure, I just know that LITERALLY every surface of the kitchen was covered in bright pink goo. You know, like unicorn blood. There was a bit of a sparkle to it, even as it was on the floor, chairs, bowls, spoons, counters, and ceiling. Yes, ceiling. When unicorns explode, their guts tends to fly upward.

Now, Stitch the Not-Princess denied any knowledge of what happened. It wasn't until a few days later and after MUCH punishment (don't lie to me, child) that she finally came clean.

Mila decided that sleep was dumb and got up to go make oobleck. She managed to get the cornstarch out, dig up the bright pink food coloring, and add water. There were at least 5 bowls involved in the travesty, and countless spoons. When it didn't work out the way she wanted, she tried to destroy the evidence, but mostly just spread the evidence out all over the house. She did all of this completely silently as to not wake up the adult who was sleeping just feet away.

Because ... Stitch. She's Stitch. She has the best of intentions, but chaos powers her, so things go awry. Eventually it all works out, but not until after a unicorn dies in my kitchen.

I still haven't managed to clean all the pink off of my ceiling.