Suck It, "Sleep Experts"
They said you have to have a calming, quiet bedtime routine.
Sometimes we read a story before bedtime. Sometimes we play in the family room. Sometimes we rock in her chair. Sometimes we play outside. Sometimes there's a bath. Sometimes there's all sorts of running around. Sometimes we take a walk. Sometimes we ride bikes.
We don't have a bedtime routine.
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They said to let her fuss for a minute. "Cry it out," if you will.
The second Mila fusses, I'm there. Sometimes it's ten minutes after I put her to bed. Sometimes it's later. No matter what time it is, I pick her up, soothe her, and otherwise do whatever I can to make the crying stop. Immediately.
I'd rather "smile it out."
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They said to play music. They also said not to play music.
Whatever. Sometimes there's music pouring out of Alexis' bedroom. If there is, it's probably Taylor Swift or some other terrible pop music. It's always blaring. It's never "soothing."
I just can't find a reason to care if it's quiet in Mila's room at night or not.
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They said to always put her in her crib still awake.
Meh. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
I do whatever happens to work on that particular day.
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They said to put these things in her room but to keep those things out and lights off or lights on and they're really very specific about environment.
Mila's room is set up the way I like it without much regard for her opinions. As for lights, Alexis sleeps with her lights on, so if doors are open, which is a crapshoot if we're being honest, there might be light in Mila's room. There might not be, too. It depends.
I'm not very specific about environment.
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"Even a wrinkle in the sheets is enough to upset some babies" they said.
Well, that's unfortunate because SUCK IT, KID. LIFE IS NOT PERFECT. DEAL.
Ahem. It's possible that I'm not willing to analyze every little detail of life in the quest to get more sleep.
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They said an early and consistent bedtime is essential.
We're almost never home by 7:30. So. Mila's bedtime is somewhere between ... um, she goes to bed when she wants to go to bed. Sometimes it's 8:30. Sometimes it's midnight.
I say clocks are for people who are far more willing to try to control their world than I am.
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They said you have to make sure the room is the right temperature.
I will cut you if you touch the thermostat. Seriously. I own knives. I know how to use them.
I say life doesn't come with the power to magically keep every minute of every day at 72 degrees. Might as well learn that lesson early.
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They said a lot of things. I heard them all when Alexis was tiny. I even followed as many of them as a human can follow.
With Mila, I was defeated before I even started, so I listened to nothing. Nothing at all. The price I have paid for that is that Mila has slept 10 straight hours in her crib nearly every night for the past few weeks. Alexis has slept 10 straight hours ... WELP. I'll let you know when it happens. I'm still waiting.
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They said if you do things just right, your baby will sleep through the night. It's your responsibility to shape the world in just the right way. You get the credit when it works.
I say they forgot that babies are human beings with opinions and such. They'll do whatever the hell they want whenever they want.
(Look at me being all ballsy and telling the internet MY BABY SLEEPS 10 HOURS IN HER CRIB. It's as if I don't believe this will jinx the whole thing.) (OH WAIT. I DON'T BELIEVE IT WILL JINX THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE HUMAN BEING. WITH HER OWN OPINIONS.)
Monday, September 14, 2015
Reader Comments (5)
TEN STRAIGHT HOURS! Wooo buddy! Are you flying? High on all the sleep? So well rested you could take on the world?
(Or are you even more exhausted because you never seize that opportunity for sleep because surely she's just about to wake up. Any minute now . . .)
I'm still firmly in the camp that all kids are programmed to sleep however they damn well want to sleep from the moment they come out.
I have book ends - oldest and youngest need very little sleep. The two in the middle would sleep A LOT if it wasn't for school. And I tried EVERYTHING with the oldest and NOTHING with the youngest (until I started using my oils). It doesn't really seem fair that someone who functions on 8.5 hours of sleep would have kids who need WAY less, but whatever. I'll sleep when I'm old I guess. You're absolutely right, they have minds of their own. (Although I will say that every time I admitted that one of them was sleeping it came to an abrupt end - so be honest! Did it stop?) :)
The only thing I know I've done right with my kids is NOT read once single book or article on what you should or should not do in raising them. They asked me my parenting philosophy the first day of daycare and I told them "keep them alive". Too much knowledge is sometimes a bad thing!
My daughter has slept from 7-5:30 every night since she was 2 1/2 months old. You want to see her scream? My son wakes up every 45 minutes. I do the same thing with both of them. She just loves to sleep. He loves to party at 2:00 am. It is what it is. Things work themselves out eventually!
My son does better with a schedule at night. For naps he naps between 2 and 4 though lately it might be 4 before he naps and he is just off, sometimes crank when he naps late. He sleeps about 9 to 6:30 every morning and the last month he comes in at 2am, 4am, or 6:30 and climbs into my side of the bed. He might stay, he might not. He started sleeping through the night at 3 months old so I just say he takes after his dad who can sleep anywhere, anytime, or just because he's bored. I think he's trying to show his 2 year old independence.
10 HOURS! I'm jealous, I'd be happy with half of that. I haven't bothered with the advice either because the first human being we made slept well from the beginning. I know it's just the second human being's WRONG opinion of sleep I'm enduring but what's really freaking me out about this post is that your big kid STILL doesn't sleep. I'm so tired, please oh please oh please don't let that be my kid.