Sweatin' The Little Stuff
Just because I'm done Christmas shopping doesn't mean I'm ready for fall. Sure, there are pumpkins on our front porch and fake bloody handprints in our windows, but I swear it can be a day past June 1st because I missed summer. Summer? What summer? IT CAN'T BE OCTOBER ALREADY.
Wait. Back up a second. Did I mention that I'm done Christmas shopping? Because I am. I may pick up a few more things between now and then, but still. DONE. DONE. DONE.
Not that I want to rub it in or anything.
But there is one thing that I wasn't done with and that was shopping for a pair of pants for Alexis to wear for gym class. Since she's a space heater with legs, I figured that I had a good month or so before we needed to graduate from shorts to pants for gym class. I was wrong. Mother Nature has decided to slap me in the face with her fickle fall weather. There's no way the kid can wear shorts to school when it's only 40 degrees outside. Not because she would complain, because she wouldn't, but because her teacher would probably make that judgey face people make when a kid wanders outside in clothing that is not appropriate for the weather.
Anyway, Alexis has gym class one day per week. On that one day per week, she gets to wear her gym clothes to school. That seems like it would be a really sweet little treat in the midst of a lame school uniform sandwich, but the dress code for gym class is worse than finding out that your cheese had mold on it after you had already taken a bite of that sandwich. The kids are required to wear a plain white or gray t-shirt and shorts or sweatpants. No logos. Just plain stuff. Oh, and did I mention that the sweatpants are supposed to have elastic at the ankles?
THAT is where the problem lies.
When I read the dress code, I interpreted it to mean, "Alexis needs to wear some sort of athletics-appropriate clothes for gym class." I figured I would send her in whatever we happened to have around. Mr. Husband, however, could be known as Mr. Literal Interpretation of the Rules because that's what he does. He read "elastic at the ankle" and took it to mean "elastic at the ankle." He doesn't believe in bending the rules even a tiny bit, so we had to set out on an emergency mission to find plain sweatpants with elastic at the ankle. (DAMN YOU, MOTHER NATURE AND YOUR STUPID 40 DEGREE DAYS IN EARLY OCTOBER.)
Easy enough, right? WRONG.
You guys, we drug that kid to no less than three malls, four big box stores, and everywhere in between in search of those damn sweatpants. Apparently elastic at the ankle is *SO* 1999 because there was not a whole lot of selection anywhere. When we did find some that were pretty much appropriate, we ran into issues with the pants fitting. Or, more accurately, not fitting. Definitely not fitting.
I should mention something. I should mention that shopping with Alexis is an adventure no matter what, but it's even more of an adventure now that she apparently doesn't get to talk while she's at school. From the second she steps off of that school bus until she falls asleep at night, her mouth is moving. So, walking around the mall with her sounds like this:
. . . La la lalala mom did you see this I like it I like pink do you like this shirt I think this shirt is super cute look how cute this is can I have this hey Justin Bieber is on that poster where are the sparkly dresses can I buy this for Cody can we go to Build-a-Bear look how cute this is do you like this I think it's cute can I have this look how cute I don't have a shirt like this I want that dress for my wedding I learned how to tie my shoes today la la lalala I know how to say pink in Spanish ooooooh look at this I want a purple dress I have shoes that would be perfect with this look there are sparkles on these jeans just like on the jeans I'm wearing my butt is sparkly do you want a sparkly butt this is really cute do you like this I like this it's so cute . . .
The girl's super power is talking without punctuation. She can do it for hours on end. HOURS.
So, we drug the kid all over Pittsburgh looking for sweatpants while she ignored all rules of "conversation." I'm not sure how it is that everyone survived. OH, WAIT. SOME OF MY BRAIN CELLS COMMITTED SUICIDE.
Here's the thing. That kid? She seemingly is not quite shaped in any sort of "average" way. I had her try on a pair of sweatpants at Target and then had to look around to see if a flood was coming. They were WAY too short. So, I grabbed the next size up. She tried them on and all seemed fine until she had the nerve to breathe and they fell to her ankles. The length was perfect but the waist was enormous.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Every time I thought we had solved the problem, I would have her try the sweatpants on and I would discover that she apparently has long legs and a tiny waist. Oh, and nobody believes in drawstring waists for little kids except me. I BELIEVE IN THEM. They just don't currently exist, so the "too big in the waist" thing was a significant problem. Call me crazy, but I think having your pants fall to your ankles in the middle of gym class might just scar a kid for life.
After hunting for several hours, we finally completed our mission (At Kmart. FREAKIN KMART. And in the boys section.). First, though, I had lots of opportunities to curse the pediatrician that said Alexis was obese back in February. I'd like to force her to take the chatterbox all over town in search of pants that are long enough but don't fall off her scrawny little self.
Obese. OBESE. What-the-hell-ever.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Reader Comments (23)
You just gave me flashbacks to never-ending shopping trips trying to find clothing that fit me, usually pants, for the same reason. I HATED shopping because of that. And they always ended at the outlets, which was the only place that carried slim jeans and elastic waisted pants. And outlets clothes were never cool.
LIFE WAS HARD. But now I have a butt, so life is good.
I was gonna say K-mart boys section. That's where I got BB's play sweatpants this year. Without him. Because I took him shopping ONCE to get his size and I'll just never do it again.
I am deeply amused at your "off the bus never stops talking" commentary though. I looked at my husband in the car the other day, as we were running errands right after school pick up straight through dinner. We had been going for a couple of hours when I looked at him and said, "Do you ears hurt? Like PHYSICALLY HURT?" Because oh man. He hadn't stopped TALKING. Holy COW.
@firemom--I keep telling Alexis to leave some words for everybody else but SHE REFUSES. I totally feel that ear hurting pain. For serious.
@Katrina--I have the same long legs problem, but I swear I didn't start having that problem until I was like 14 or so. Damn kid is an overachiever.
The reason that there are no drawstrings on little kids clothing is that it's a strangulation hazard, and by law, clothing for children 6yo and under is not allowed to have real drawstrings on them (either hoods or pants).
Well you knew that pediatrician was crazy when she said it.
And WTH is up with the no drawstring in kids sweatpants? Both of my girls have the same problem - to get the length they need, the waist doesn't fit. I bought sweatpants for Tessa that had the little tie in front only to get home and realize it was freaking decorative and doesn't tighten the waist. Glad you found some. I'm like you - a little less literal. I would have looked at 1 store and if they didn't have the elastic ankles, oh well. Sweatpants are sweatpants and the elastic ankles don't effect the ability to dodge a ball.
This has been the story of my life. I personally breed tarantulas so my 5 year old is tall enough to be in size 7 clothing.
In the legs.
But her waist?! No, it's a size 4T.
There's a discrepancy there. Huge problem.
Oh, and once you leave the sanctified land of girls up to size 6x suddenly you have to contend with sex appeal. For my 5 year old.
Shoot me now.
Multiply funny shaped kids by ten billion and the things you need to put on them by ten and you have my work day!!! Skates, shin pads, hockey pants, helmet, shin guards, elbow pads, shoulder pads, gloves, and about fifty options for each WELP. The worst is the hockey pants (aka breezers) which are suspended from PVC pipe from the ceiling and require a hook and funky maneuvering to get down. Ten pairs. Per kid. Lord.
You'd be surprised how many kids are skinny waisted and long legged. KIDS GROW LIKE THAT. MANUFACTURE THINGS THAT FIT THEM.
@Amber--She wears a size 6, though. I can see no drawstrings in toddler clothes, but big girl clothes? GRRRR!
I would have sent her in shorts. I guess that's because my fear of disapproving looks left a few years ago when I realized one of my children's classmates wears shorts all year long. I live in Michigan - he wears shorts in the sun, shorts in the rain, shorts in the snow. The school insists he put on at least jogging pants for recess in the winter (to cover their liability I am sure) because he doesn't wear snow pants. Yes, his parents are aware. Yes, they can afford any clothing he needs. He runs on hot and they prefer he be comfortable.
I swear - they don't make pants in ANYONE'S shape. For both of my kids, pants shopping was my kryptonite.
@Gina--You are definitely right. For a long time, I got away with skirts/dresses for Alexis, but now her legs are long enough to make it look like her butt is hanging out and GRRRR. NO BUTTS HANG OUT IN MY HOUSE. Except Meg's. I can't really stop her.
well, this probably explains why to this day i hate shopping...and my mom wasn't even struggling with uniform guidelines.
I have a very similar problem with my older daughter. She actually prefers the elastic at the bottom sweatpants (read she won't wear anything resembling yoga pants). I was looking for something plain-- and I found some at Justice online (don't think they have them in stores) AND they have a drawsting!! Here is the link. http://www.shopjustice.com/girls-clothing/active-bottoms/core-cuff-fleece-sweatpant/4950818
I would have said screw it and add the draw sting myself. I'm not patient at all! I hate shopping. My husband did the majority of it when my son was growing up. He enjoys it. Thank God!
Your peditrician is on crack, to put it mildly. And I'm with Jackie....I'd be all over putting in that drawstring like white on rice!
oh man I have this same problem with Maggie. She grew over an inch since her birthday in April but didn't gain any weight at all- so pants that are long enough are falling down, but ones that fit in the waist are super short. Thankfully we don't have to worry about dress codes (yet) but seriously? I would have ignored the elastic at the ankle thing. Apparently the people making those rules haven't been in a children's clothing store since 1996. Yikes. HA
Old Navy has adjustable waist pants. We have the same problem. 12 year old still wears a size 8 and can fit into a 5T in the waist!
Also, I love Christmas shopping. I must be an anomaly, but I would be so sad if I were done this early!
I'm with you. I miss drawstrings - particularly in middle-school boys' sizes. I am ever-so-thankful that my momma can sew - I bought the size that fits in the length and handed her a needle and thread when she walked in the door last Sunday. Problem solved. (Because I can't sew. I make up for it with mad baking skills, though. I made her a peach struesel coffeecake from the bakeforthecure cookbook. Ye who likes peaches should try it. Really.)
I hope you bought several pairs - I won't tell you how many pairs of jeans have been sacrificed because the kids have the nerve to fall during gym and blow out the knees. (Yes, my school makes them play gym in jeans or khakis so they don't break uniform. It has to be miserable.)
I totally sent FireGirl to preschool in shorts & a Tshirt (w/ a jacket) the past two days. It was in the 40s in the morning, but predicted to be in the 70s by the afternoon.
She was the only kid in shorts.
I don't care. I didn't notice any teachers giving the side-eye, but I did catch 2 parents. Whatever.
I got the obese talk this year, too. One pound into the limit, and he was diagnosed as obese. It was disconcerting and unhappy making. The child moves non stop (and eats nonstop) and is in like 99th percentile for height. I don't know about those things...
Here's the thing with kids pants (especially sweat pants.) They're like redonk easy to make. Seriously, find someone with a sewing machine, buy them some sweat pant material, and watch them go to work. 20 minutes, tops. I'd do it for you, except my sewing machine is buried in soap. ;)