The Fluffernutter Is Growing Up
If I were a little more organized, there would have been a countdown. "23 days 14 hours and 32 minutes until Penny outgrows the Raging Lunatic Stage!" would have been written on a sign and updated every single minute of every single day until she hit the six month mark.
Alas, her half birthday passed without fanfare. Unless, of course, you count that day I looked over at her and went, "Hey. You're not quite as much of a raging lunatic as you were. You must be six months old now. Happy half birthday, flufferpup." Then I turned back to my very important chips and dip conundrum. Why do I NEVER run out of both chips and dip at the same time? It's a conspiracy, I swear.
We do half birthdays up big around these parts. Obviously. Hold on a second and I'll eat some chips in dip in honor of your half birthday.
You're welcome.
Anyway, while Penny is still FAR, FAR, FAR away from being a responsible and contributing member of society, she has finally chilled the hell out. By that I mean she has only destroyed one Barbie, a book, my favorite bra, and half of a ... um ... it was a plastic something before she chewed on it. I'm not really sure what it was. But! But! That's a significant improvement in her Earned Destruction Average! I have hope that some day she'll go an entire week without gnawing something to death.
The most ... aw, hell. I don't have a descriptor for the level of annoying that is Penny figuring out that she's a Tibetan Terrier. Here's the thing. Tibetan Terriers are guard dogs. They were bred to guard monasteries and people's homes and it's absolutely their job to bark their stupid heads off if they see someone invading their territory. They are to alert the bigger dogs to attack. They don't actually do anything to the intruder. They just bark their fool heads off until help arrives.
Penny is REALLY good at the "fool head" part. Not so much at the UNTIL HELP ARRIVES.
That means a very typical chain of events around these parts is for me to open a door to let the dogs out and for Penny to spot a potential human 4000 miles away. She starts running towards the potential human at top speed, barking as loud as she possibly can the entire way. If the potential human turns out to be an actual human, they stand there and laugh at the Muppet-like creature "ferociously" charging them as I yell at Penny to shut the hell up.
And THAT is where the internet comes into play. One day I got very seriously tired of yelling various threats at Penny as she "guarded" our house from the entire freakin' neighborhood. I decided to ask Dr. Google for some advice.
Dr. Google very quickly told me, "If you want to encourage your dog to continue barking at every single thing that breaths, go ahead and yell at them. When you join in and make noise with them, you're telling them they're right to be alarmed."
WELL THEN, MR. SMARTYPANTS INTERNET.
I hate when the internet makes sense. Apparently, the correct response to stupid fool dogs barking their heads off is to teach them the command "Quiet." You're supposed to give treats and praise when they don't bark at things and add that fancy command to their repertoire.
I'll be damned if it didn't work. Not 100% because Penny is still a fool of a puppy at six months, but still. She was better about the whole big-mouthed fluffball guard dog thing almost instantly.
Now if the internet could just figure out a way to get a puppy who thinks bitter spray is mighty delicious to quit chewing on my bras, Penny would be perfect.
Especially because she lets me amuse myself by putting stupid bows in her hair.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Reader Comments (5)
And here I thought it was Alexis' idea to put the bow in her hair. :)
@Lindsay--Technically Alexis did start the whole bow thing, but I only let her run with it because I knew she would pick the most outstandingly horrible bow possible. ;-)
Hehe, she looks like Benji with a bow. Glad you found a way to quite her somewhat. I'm going to try that with my baby girl.... of course she is 11 yo (a collie shih tzu mix...don't ask) She is fine except for when people come into the house that isn't my husband, son or me.
When Charley was chewing my coffee table, I could spray that bitter pray directly into his mouth and he'd be all "Yum, sauce!" Also - now that you have a bow pulling the air out of her eyes so the crazy "She can't see - it's cruel" people can shut up, be prepared for the "You're humiliating her - it's cruel" people to show up.
as calm as i can i tell ludo, "i've got this one." sometimes it makes his german shepherd guarding and herding tendencies relax since he now doesn't have to be in control, sometimes he is all, "shit, i totally am taking this one!" and then i start to giggle and can't be mad any longer.
i love that as big as penny is, she still lets us pick her up to snuggle. good dog.