The Hoarders

I have no business giving anyone any advice on how to clean their house, unless that advice can be "Don't. It sucks." If I can make that recommendation, then we're golden. Otherwise, I should likely keep my mouth shut.

Except.

YOU GUYS. I'M ON A SOLID STREAK OF GETTING CRAP OUT OF OUR HOUSE. I'm kind of proud of myself, so I feel like I should share the magic.

First, the back story.

I live with hoarder(s). I use paranthesis around the 's' because I'm not positive if the girls are going to fall down that rabbit hole. Alexis shows signs of it, as does Mila, but neither of them is completely committed to being that brand of crazy. If I'm putting money on it, I'd rank Mila as more likely, but we shall see.

Because I live with people who don't know how to throw things away, there's too much stuff. Our house is about 1000 square feet bigger than we truly need, but it's busting at the seams and IT'S ALL GARBAGE. I wish I were kidding, but I for real threw away several garbage bags of stuff when I cleaned out the pantry, so SLOBS. THEY'RE ALL SLOBS. And monsters who put garbage in the closets.

So I started the year with a mental commitment to tame the closets. There's plenty more that needs to be conquered, but the closets have been on my nerves for a while. When I can't put a roll of Scotch tape away because there's not two free inches of space in a closet, it's time to go on the war path. I made up my mind that I would clean out one closet per weekend. That includes going allllll the way in on said closet. I not only throw away whatever needs to be thrown away, I also donate the things that someone else will love more than I do. As in, I'm not done cleaning until I've dumped those bags off at Goodwill or an equivalent.

I'm six closets into this game. SIX CLOSETS! I have effectively managed to clean out SIX closets. I have thrown away a total of 9 large bags of trash and donated about 20 more. Which, that's a lot of stuff. I still have three more closets and then it will be time to tackle the playroom, where I will likely die of misery, but let's just sit on the fact that I have followed through so far. I know I'm impressed it's getting done!

So, for those of you who live with hoarders, here's my advice ... break it down. If I had set out to clean out all of the closets, I would have quit by now. Instead I set out to clean one closet per week, which somehow makes it seem more manageable. And then! That thing where I drop off donations the same day? It's magical. It's way to easy to say, "I'll do that later," but then later gets delayed and next thing you know, your grandkids are rolling their eyes because you're trying to sell them on your kid's 30-year old dress. Small, manageable goals are making everything better. I swear it.

Here's to hoping the people in my house catch on to what I'm doing. If not, I'm afraid I'm going to throw away some stuff they want to keep and I won't apologize at all because STOP HOARDING.

Ahem.