The Magical Money-Making Kid
Did anybody notice that I stopped posting daily? I stopped posting daily. There is no grand reason for it. I just decided one day that 16 years of posting every single day had proven that I could. So I stopped. The one an only negative consequence of that is that I'm falling behind on a few things that super need to be here so I can remind Mila about them later, like the time she demanded to hang out with the Easter Bunny and it turned into a dance party.
I gotta dredge up the photo for that post. So it waits. Again. There's also a weekend of dance recitals to formally throw in this here makeshift baby book, but the photos are still sitting on a memory card.
And that is why we're going to skip right on ahead to last night.
Mila has been furiously wiggling a few teeth for weeks now, which is the exact thing I think of when you say, "What's the opposite of a good time?" It's wiggly teeth. That is the opposite of a good time. The kid does not care about my feelings, though, so she's been walking around acting like it's her job to make me throw up. Late yesterday she finally achieved her dream and wiggle-wiggle-wiggled her way to having a tooth in her hand instead of in her mouth.
In true Mila fashion, when it happened she ran over to me and shoved it in my face. When I responded, "I only like teeth when they're in your face where they belong," she responded by showing me that she could fit it back in and then laughed like a maniac when it immediately fell back out after she let go of it.
I haven't eaten since. ::blech::
That wonderful childhood moment led to the usual Tooth Fairy shenanigans. I would like to out source the whole thing in the future, btw, so if anyone is looking to make a quick buck by dropping by a stranger's house, picking up a piece of discarded human tissue, and throwing a couple of dollars down, let me know. I will happily pay a premium to never again blindly fish around Mila's loft trying to figure out where the stupid tooth is sitting. See also: touching other people's teeth is stupid.
Dentists don't get paid enough. Or are a special kind of insane. One of those things. Maybe both.
ANYWAY.
I fished and found the grossest little thing ever and threw $2 in its place and WOW was I proud of myself. I have not yet once missed on assisting the Tooth Fairy when Mila is the kid with the lost tooth. I screwed it up all the time with Alexis, but maybe I'm becoming better at remembering things in my old age. Let's go with that explanation and not pull on the thread that is my utter and complete fear of what Mila would do if I forgot.
So I left $2, went to bed, and awoke to a very excited Mila. Not only had the Tooth Fairy read her note and taken two stickers as instructed (go, me!), she had left $7.
SEVEN DOLLARS.
It was $2. I'm not losing my mind.
So where did the extra $5 come from? Given that Mila said it was super stuck in the space between pieces of wood, I'm guessing she actually hid it there and forgot about it. That's definitely a thing Mila would do - take money that is hers and hide it REALLY well so that nobody finds it. I could walk over right now and dig up a handful of candy wrappers because Mila hides things in her loft. It's one of her favorite pastimes.
Which is all to say, WHAT A WASTE. I could have skipped on all of my Tooth Fairy assigned duties and let the kid just find her own $5 and she never would have known. I didn't even need to grab the tooth because it is a very scary mess in her loft and she wouldn't have found it anyway.
Seriously, kids need to come equipped with flashing lights or something that tells you when you're allowed to ignore their weird traditions. I would LOVE to skip this one.
Monday, May 23, 2022
Reader Comments (6)
The first day you missed a post, I was like, A) I wonder if I'm having feed problems and then 2) I hope Michelle is OK! Then when the next post showed up I figured, "Oh, OK. She's tired of the grind. So where am I going to get my fix for nosing into other people's lives now?"
I noticed but thought either my computer was being weird or you needed a break.
I noticed, and first figured you were busy--then realized that after 16 years of posting daily you'd decided to slow down on posting.
I noticed too! You have a very loyal audience :p I miss them, they've always been part of my morning routine. I understand though, if you don't keep that up.
Me. I am still here, I noticed.
I noticed but I also understand why you stopped. But I think you posted it somewhere that you were going to stop posting daily shortly after I wondered if things were ok. So Hello!