This is Probably How Bernie Madoff Started
The kid has turned to a life of crime.
Once upon a time, you would never catch Alexis doing something she had been told not to do; her conscious wouldn't let her. However, it seems she has shoved her little conscious into a box and found a way to break free from the chains of guilt.
She is smuggling fruit snacks to the other kids at daycare.
It started out as an open request to perform an act of what could be considered kindness. "I want to bring fruit snacks to school for my friends." I told her that I appreciated that she wanted to be nice to her friends, but that it wasn't a good idea to give food to kids without asking their parents first.
Despite my request that she leave the fruit snacks at home, she grabbed a pack out of the pantry. I found the contraband packet of sugar and artificial colors clutched in her chubby hands when I went to get her out of the car at school. I asked her to leave them in the car. She wouldn't. It turns out that standing in the parking lot at daycare at 7:30am is the exact situation in which I don't have the patience or energy to fight with a 40-pound mound of determination and stubbornness. Instead, I drug the kid to the coat area in her classroom and insisted that she stick the fruit snacks in her coat pocket RIGHT THAT SECOND OR ELSE. AND LEAVE THEM THERE.
She kinda listened. She put them in her pocket. But, when I picked her up at the end of the day, the fruit snacks were gone. She had smuggled them out of her coat and into the hands of her first customer.
The next day, she tried to head off a disagreement by smuggling a pack of fruit snacks into her coat pocket while I was putting on my shoes. I told her I knew about them, to which she earnestly declared that she HAD to give them to a different friend. SHE HAD TO. I stole the fruit snacks out of her coat before we left. Yet, somehow, she managed to smuggle another pack past me. I only found out because when I picked her up later in the day, she confessed her sins.
People, she managed to go through an entire box of fruit snacks over the course of the week. I'm not sure what the other kids are paying her with, but the kid is apparently running some sort of elaborate fruit snack ring. And don't even get me started on how she's pulling off this caper without teachers catching wind of it. That's a whole other level of baffling and frustrating.
All I know is that I have instituted a ban on any and all fruit snacks. Period.
Of course, Alexis keeps telling me that she'll find some by herself. Apparently, she has secured other sources. UGH.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Reader Comments (19)
LOVE this post. My son once did something similarly, um, "charitable" when he was younger. On the last day of the school year we gave him envelopes for each of his teachers, each envelope containing a note and a gift card. That evening we started getting calls from his friends' parents, saying how nice it was for our son to give their kids gift cards. Alex had opened the envelopes, pitched the notes into the trash, and given away the gift cards because he "knew his friends would really, really, really like them." And they did.
Is it wrong to laugh at your expense? Because I really am, and I can't help it.
Stinker. She's learned the joy of giving and it's not even Christmas.
"Hey... kid... want a fruit snack? This one's free... if you like it, see me in the coat room tomorrow and bring 50 cents..."
She's like the Robin Hood of chewy candy goodness.
Sounds like you don't have to worry about Alexis being the kid who won't share. It's really sort of sweet... no pun intended.
She could make a ton of money off of Em - we put the kibosh on fruit snacks when her teeth started rotting out of her head, but oh how she loves them...
This is hilariously written stuff! What's even funnier is that I can SEE it happening just as you've written it! I thank you for sharing this story as it is just what I needed on this otherwise typical Monday! Thank you! I do hope you get this under wraps before a true intervention is needed! :)
What a sneak! We had to give up fruit snacks in this house due to cavities, and I was shocked when my then 6 year old went to a playdate and when her friend offered her fruit snacks she told them "she wasn't allowed to have them anymore." I hadn't banned them completely but I told her I would buy them often and when I did, they would be considered a once in a while treat. So I was really surprised she told her friend she couldn't have them! I thought for sure she'd find anyway she could to get her "fix."
I know I shouldn't laugh but... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Your kid is so awesome.
this is why i don't have kids...my child would have had my hand print on her butt when she didn't do what i told her to do. not a cys call waiting to happen beating or anything crazy, but my hand print nonetheless.
although i frikken love that she is sharing with her friends. or bribing them.
:)
Hoho, I'm not in the States so my impression upon first reading this was even funnier - I thought she was smuggling little bags of cut up pieces of FRUIT to the kids!
You're going to have to keep watching that one now! It's starts by learning how to sneak the contraband. Next, she learn how to not confess her sins! Then you are in for it. Good luck to us all!
ha! Loved this! If she were in daycare with my son, they would be fast friends! He is all about his fruit snacks!
This sounds like the time, okay let's be honest, the year that The Chicken began taking the flavor packets for the water bottles and selling them to her classmates at lunch. If you were a friend she only charged you 50 cents, if not well you had to pay 75 cents. And the kids PAID it! (I only paid a dollar for each box of packets) So aside from the shakedown she was putting to the kids, when I tried to get my cut as the supplier, she refused.
And this is funny.
Aw, let her take the kids fruit snacks once in a while. IT'S IMPORTANT!!
I have TEARS rolling down my cheeks. Hilarious!! Tell Alexis that when she branches out into chocolate, I'm always looking for new "associates." ;-)
It is a good thing we live nowhere near each other, as I suspect Miss Alexis could find a heavy demand in Cooper! The no-red-dye thing is painful for him when it comes to the chewy goodness of fruit snacks!
Maybe fruit snacks are to pre-school what smokes are in the joint. Hehe.