Toddlers Are So Fun

Monday

Feb012016

If you happen to be teetering on the ledge between wanting to have kids and not having kids, know this before you read the rest of this post: it is going to push you towards running out to buy ALL of the birth control. I'm warning you because I am fully aware of how pitiful the thing I'm about to say is. Parents who have been there, though, will understand why I am over-the-moon excited about something so dumb.

So, want kids? Don't want a reality check? THEN LEAVE NOW.

Alrighty then, now that I'm surrounded by parents who are already well aware of the dark period that is the early toddler phase, let's celebrate the beauty and majesty that is I WENT TO THE MALL WITH MILA AND DIDN'T SWEAR! NOT EVEN ONCE! And I didn't lose her! And she didn't destroy anything! And there were no tears! She didn't cry either!

IT IS ALL SO EXCITINGGGGG!!!!!

I mean, I think maybe we're coming out of the fog. I think maybe common sense is starting to settle in between those two adorable little ears. One day setting her loose in the mall was a surefire way to see how many t-shirts she could throw on the floor while she stormed out of Gap and got lost in Macy's. The next day, she ...

you guys, I get a little choked up when I say this ...

The next day, I set her down and when she started to toddle her way to the other side of the store, I said, "Get back here," AND SHE DID.

IT WAS LIKE MAGIC.

BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL MAGIC.

Before you think I'm exaggerating the majesty of our time in the mall, you should know that it was just me and Mila. I didn't have an Alexis handy to play toddler wrangler. It was just Mila and me walking from store to store to store and WE WERE THERE OVER AN HOUR! AND NOBODY DIED! AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR ANY BROKEN MERCHANDISE!

I did, however, have to buy the kid a new pair of pants. It wouldn't be an outing with Mila if something didn't get ruined beyond repair, if you catch my drift.

My smelly, smelly drift.