We Won't Back Down
"Well, probably the most serious violation was when she told another child, 'Please stop being a pest and leave me alone.'" The words were delivered with the heavy tones of someone who was horrified to have to be the one to tell us about such a terrible offense.
I blinked. That's all I could do as I processed the statement. I blinked. ::blink::blink::blink::blink::
"So, another child was ... ? What exactly was going on?" I finally asked.
"There was a little boy who was following Alexis around during recess. I don't really know why she felt the need to call him a name." Judgment dripped from the teacher's voice.
"Oh," I replied. ::blink::blink::blink::blink::
There are three sides to every story, so later I asked Alexis what had happened. Her version was nearly identical to the story told by her kindergarten teacher, but with one important addition - the little boy was following her around and telling her she looked better without glasses.
::blink::blink::blink::blink::
Initially I was going to let the situation be, but through a conversation regarding another issue, I realized something. The teacher has a very different opinion on the role of women in this world. She feels that women can be leaders ... in the classroom and home.
That's when I decided to go to bat for my kid. The teacher could say what she wanted, but Alexis had handled the situation as well as any 6-year old possibly could. If she is being harassed? She ABSOLUTELY has my permission to stand up for herself. I was crazy proud that Alexis had decided she wasn't going to back down. That's exactly what I want her to do.
Alexis and I eventually discussed how she could have handled the situation better. She shouldn't have called the little boy a name, but otherwise? She did all right. I want her to know that she has to take care of herself. She has to do what is right and if that means fighting the system? I've got her back.
I've fought the system many times myself (sometimes with your help!) because the best
way to teach Alexis that she can't back down is to make sure I don't. Now that I've watched the trailer for Fox's Won't Back Down, I'm inspired to do even more. I know that a group of people can join together to change the world, and now I'm looking forward to this year's Christmas Crazy being bigger and better than ever.
Won't Back Down is coming to theaters September 28th. It stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis, who play two mothers who refuse to accept that their kids' school is failing. They set out to change the school, battling bureaucracy along the way. You can learn more about it at the official Facebook page. It's a feel-good movie with a fantastic message and a heavy dose of motivation. You can also buy group tickets.
What motivates you to make a change in your community? Answer below for a chance to win one of two $40 Fandango gift cards. If I were answering, I'd say that seeing Alexis' face when she gets a new toy motivates me. Every kid should get that feeling and every parent should have the opportunity to see it happen.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Reader Comments (65)
I think what motivates me the most is the need for us to put in the effort to see our kids what is necessary to be successful in many areas of their life. It does take a village many times.
tweet:
https://twitter.com/BBirdie2/status/243421641089093632
Thanks!
As a public health researcher, I see and study the impact that simple prevention strategies can have on lowering the risk of disease, yet, so many underprivileged people do not get these benefits. The numbers don't lie. Everyone deserved the same access to healthcare no matter where you are in life.
Tweet! https://twitter.com/akuipers/status/243438801282793472
My motivation for making small changes and not backing down is the hope that the small steps I take will affect my children and, in turn, affect their children. Every step matters, even if it's the most little-bitty-baby step. Why should we settle for status quo when our children are at stake?
What motivates me to not back down? When I see the benefit that whatever I am doing has on my daughter's life, and the lives of other kids. I also see myself as an example (or, I guess, a role model) of a strong woman who stands up for what she believes in. I especially won't back down when it comes to my daughter's education. She has mild special needs, but I work hard to work with (and sometimes stand up to) her school to make sure that she is getting the services that she needs to be successful.
"a pest"? They're concerned about her calling the boy a pest when he WAS clearly being a pest?
What happened to: don't act like a pest and you won't be called a pest!?
...I'm just sayin'.....
Before I tell you what motivates me, I have to say that I don't see it as Alexis called the boy a name--she was describing his behavior, which was "being a pest." She didn't say HE was a pest. Semantics, yes, but sometimes, you call a pest a pest, and sometimes you describe the pest's behavior as being a pest instead.
What motivates me? I want to be someone my daughter will look to and say, "I'm proud of you Mom." Whether it's volunteering at her school, or in my job, or with family. Being willing to speak up, to not just follow along, to make my own rules about what a woman can be, or do gives her permission to not have to follow along with all the other girls, or to change totally OK behaviors because the boys have said she's "not allowed to because you're a girl."
I really don't think that she could have handled the situation any better. Calling him a name? Well, if he doesn't want to be called a pest than maybe he shouldn't act like one. And I'm a little miffed that the teacher didn't ask Alexis about the situation before she decided to rat her out to you.
I say, "Right on, Alexis!" and "Way to go, Mama!" :)
I have worked in nonprofit for years and what motivates me is simply that we all need to take responsibility for the world we live in, to help shape the world as we would like it to be. Additionally, it's important for me to set a good example for my son and instill in him the importance of giving back.
I'm motivated by my kids, too. I want them to be able to be involved and active and safe in our community and won't hesitate to work my hardest to correct a wrong where they're involved. Bravo to you for your efforts with Alexis!
What motivates me?
My kids. I wouldn't be here today if they weren't. I'd have refused brain surgery. Yes, I'm clearly that stubborn.
if you see something you'd like changed, start with your county council
What motivates me is the reaction of unexpected happiness that you can bring to even one unsuspecting person. We gave a christmas ham to a very needy family of one of my husband's students once. He delivered it, but told me about how her mom cried because they were not even going to be able to have any kind of christmas dinner before receiving that ham. Though I didn't see their reactions, I think about that every time there's an opportunity to give, especially food, to the local area families.
Food. Food motivates me to make a difference in a community. My family wasn't exactly poor when I was growing up, but we weren't middle class either. We always had enough to eat, but other members of my very large extended family and even some neighbors did not.
In a different way, food is the very center of how my family lives today. Both of my children have multiple food allergies, so most of how we manage every day revolves around keeping them safe from what they eat and ensuring that they are getting enough nutrition from what they can eat. We are fortunate to be able to shop at grocery stores that cater to these alternatives.
We give to food banks because there are people who really need help in feeding themselves and their family. It's away to help others and a reminder of how fortunate we are that we can afford to feed ourselves.
My motivation for doing good is that being an example of the good is the best way to get others (and your children) to do the same. Like a drop in the lake - the ripples spread.
And I agree with mumple - describing a behavior is different than calling a name. That's how my kids actually get away with it around here.
My motivation is the smiles on my children's faces when they achieve something. My son struggled for 3 years with emotional/behaviioral problems --- this year HE MADE IT into "real" school. He made into public school and not a "special" school. He cried when I told him. I cried. My daughter made the travel softball team on her first tryout - we don't know anyone on this team or from this group, so she knew it was all about her ability that got her this spot. Hardwork, pride, respect will always get you far. That is what I teach them.
I'm motivated by the days when I see something I do make an impact- whether that's making a co-worker's day a little easier by stepping up on a project or helping dogs be adoptable by working on obedience in the shelter. I love seeing big-picture changes but those are so few and far between that I like to focus on the small battles.
Start with the appropriate elected official... and I find courage if I don't have to stand alone.
thanks
kmassman gmail
TWEET--https://twitter.com/CrazyItalian0/status/245177872782864384
gina.m.maddox (at) gmail (dot) com
If something isn't being done right then speak up about it. Nothing will change if no one says anything.
gina.m.maddox (at) gmail (dot) com
Volunteer, be informed, participate. Get to know my neighbors!
Driving through my once thriving small town motivates me. I hate that my kids aren't getting to experience the wonderful home town that I did, and it bothers me that so many people who don't live there anymore (and some who do) have written it off instead of trying to do something about it.
There is an empty field at the bottom/beginning of my street, which is almost always littered with, well, litter. I am motivated to pick it up because I cannot stand to see it, and it looks better without it. Plus people tend to keep littering a littered place, whereas a place without litter tends to get less litter. Unfortunately, the latter is not always true for that field, but by my (and a few other neighbors') cleaning it up, at least the field can look nice® for a day or two or three.
Thanks for sharing yet another endearing Alexis story! What a great kid you have and I must agree with the previous commenters that she handled herself beautifully. Nothing wrong with her telling another kid to stop harrassing her! By the way please make sure to tell her that your followers think that she is beautiful with glasses and without!
I am inspired daily by other strong women who aren't afraid to challenge themselves, overcome obstacles and try new things. I am motivated when I see a need not being met or am invited to participate in a community project by someone that feels that I have something to offer. I think that we are all more invested in those issues that impact us more closely. Start local, reach global.
As a side note, I was an extra on the set of "Won't Back Down". It was my first time working on a movie and I loved it. The energy and warmth of the cast and crew made it a very positive experience. You can actually see me in the trailer of the film. I can't wait to see it!:)
I'm motivated by the fact that I'm hoping to bring my first child into the world in the next 2 years, and I want him or her to be welcomed into a loving community that will help grow them into amazing human beings.
I am motivated by making sure my kids grow up in a crime free neighborhood by being a part of the neighborhood watch
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
tweet
https://twitter.com/ChelleB36/status/247922370390679553
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
If we want to make a change we have to go through the proper channels and keep going up the ladder or outside if need be.
Tweet-
https://twitter.com/saltysailors1/status/248120581776617472
I can be kind to those around me, even when I'm not treated well
tweeted
https://twitter.com/MelindaJoy926/status/248131126252666880
I work in an urban setting so Im always trying to change the way people think about underprivledged populations
seanm1999 at hotmail dot com
petty injustice
Tweet
https://twitter.com/OverMom/status/248816378293932032
tromano24 (at) hotmail (dot) com
Having watched my grandmother (successfully!) battle ovarian cancer and losing a family member lose her battle to young motivated me to get involved in spreading awareness about ovarian cancer. My involvement motivates me to share an experience with my children about doing something for the joy, not the money. It gives me joy to meet new survivors and support women through treatment but it also warms my heard to listen to my 5-year old organize her squinkies into "volunteer" groups and listen to my 8 year old ask when he can get more involved!
My kids definitely inspire me to get involved in the community. I want the world to be a good place for them!
i find courage in standing up for what's right
https://twitter.com/karinaroselee/status/249262313704660992
If something is wrong in your community, file a complaint with the department head.
What motivates me to make a difference in my community is that I grew up poor in the projects of Newark NJ. Anything other than paying rent and buying food was a luxury.
Other classmates who were better off would happily show off their toys or I would see kids getting their faces painted and whenever I asked my mom if I could too, I was told we couldn't afford that.
So now I do free facepainting and glitter tattoos for low-income area events.
It's a thrill to see the kids faces when they see themselves in the mirror, and the parents are so grateful that their kids can get a little taste of something other than bare-bones survival.
If you want to contribute to my Indiegogo campaign to raise money for supplies, here's the link:
indiegogo DOT com/free-facepainting-4-low-income-area-events?a=773035
What motivates me is knowing that I'm a role model to my son. I want to possess the kinds of characteristics that he'll find positive to find in a mate some day. I volunteer in my community, my church and in my little boy's school.
I Tweeted https://twitter.com/poohro/status/249635373972615169 Handle = @poohro (jojoecarol at gmail dot com) Thanks for this contest.
I can volunteer more and inspire others to do the same! That will promote good for the world. Seeing others take action and stand up for what is right gives me courage to do the same.
i tweeted here:
https://twitter.com/bellows22/status/249928109284024322
When I was younger, I used to volunteer at the emergency room at one of the busiest county hospitals in the country,Parkland, in Dallas, Texas.
When communication is not possible between 2 people and I had the chance to facilitate that communication, I knew that I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. Serving as a translator for immigrants from Spanish speaking countries makes me feel like I am making a difference in my community.
I also serve my community by teaching English as a Second Language. Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them to fish and feed them for life.
What give me courage is blogging, and the whole blogging community. We feed each other. We change each other. We inspire each other.
chambanachik@gmail.com
What motivates me is just watching my daughter do what she can to make people feel well.
EVERYTIME I SEE A NEGLECTED CHILD IN PERSON IT STIRS SOMETHING UP IN ME & GETS ME STARTED ON THE INTERNET SIGNING PETITIONS. I WILL SIT ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS THINKING ABOUT THE INCIDENT! FOR EXAMPLE, I SAW A CHILD PLAYING IN DIRTY CLOTHES WITH A DIRTY BARBIE DOLL IN JAMAICA, & EVERY SINCE IT'S STUCK IN MY MIND. THE MOTHER WAS SELLING BRACELETS TO TOURISTS TRYING TO MAKE A FEW CENTS! HOW SAD! =(
2ND ENTRY TWEET! https://twitter.com/kytah00/status/250870807922872320