Whichever.
This is the post where I should be telling you about all the fun that Alexis had at Kennywood. I should be showing you cryptic photos that may or may not show the kid having fun:
Did she like the giant pirate ship. Maybe? It's hard to tell.
I should also be telling you how crazy it is that they installed new swings in Kiddieland. Really small swings, at that. They had these ones in 2007:
But now the new ones are a LOT smaller:
(You can try to tell me that they just painted the old one, but clearly the photographs show that the ride has shrunk. Ahem.)
But I'm not telling you all about Kennywood because all I can think about is The Toad. The Toad that tried to murder me tonight.
I was minding my own business, just doing a little yard work. I lifted up something in the yard, and there it was. A GIANT toad, easily the size of my head (Or my fist. Whichever.). It stared at me with its dark, evil, soul-sucking eyes for a moment, not even considering that it should maybe MOVE OUT OF MY WAY. I needed to stick my hands exactly where it was, but The Toad was willing to wage war.
So, I went over to another part of the yard to do some work. What can I say? I'm a chicken.
Twenty minutes later, I surveyed my original crime scene. Finding no evidence of The Toad, I went back to work. I was happily minding my own business, finally making a little progress when it happened.
The Toad tried to murder me.
It appeared out of nowhere and lunged towards my face (Or my foot. Whichever.), narrowly missing a chance to sink its scary fangs (Do toads have teeth? They must.) into my skin (Or my shoe. Whichever.). I demanded that The Toad move away from me (Or screamed like a girl. Whichever.), but it just sat there. Challenging me.
I grabbed my shovel and began smashing The Toad (Or gently nudging it. Whichever.), but it was far too strong. It grabbed my shovel out of my hands and hurled it at me (Not really.).
I abandoned the battlegrounds, but I will return. The Toad may have won that battle, but once I assemble an army, I shall win the war.
Right after I figure out how the heck Kennywood shrunk those swings so much.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Reader Comments (16)
Be kind to the sweet, cute, mosquito-eating toad! We have singing toads in both our ponds and every year they sing in spring around the clock. Well, at least the boy toads do, until the girl toads come and they make a bazillion tadpoles!
we have a toad that likes to sit right on the top step of our porch every time it rains. The sneaky little thing blends right in with the step and i almost squish it everytime. I too squeal like a little girl. Then I run in the house and lock the door like it has hands and thumbs and could possibly unlock that sucker! Its true i swear.
You don't just pick toads and relocate to a garden? Huh. And neither did you call Mr. I'll Relocate Any Wildlife Myself, I'm Trained? Huh-er.
I love the pirate ship pictures!
You obviously need to appease the Toads. What would toads take as a sacrifice? Dead flies? Some moths. You need to get on that ASAP.
I will send Kate over to terrorize the toad. Kate LOVES toads. She will pet it and pick it up and snuggle it and follow it when it hops away. That Toad'll be running for the hills in no time.
Those pictures are adorable. Wow!
I can remember as a kid, catching frogs and toads at my grandparents farm. Now? I wouldn't touch a toad if you paid me to. (Okay, maybe if you paid me to, I would)
I think you should get a house for the toad.
http://www.improvementscatalog.com/product/toad-house.do
I found a newborn premie diaper the other day in one of the kid's drawers.
It's impossible it was that tiny. everything else in the world must be growing. Thats the only explanation.
I love the storytelling. You're great at it.
Gotta figure out those shrinking rides before she just can't fit in them at all anymore! ;-)
@mattieflap-Apparently toads don't care for houses. We have one and yet they live everywhere but in the actual house.
I think you're confusing soul-sucking Toad with the vampire bunny Bunnicula. Who...umm...now that I think about it, might be living in my yard. Crap. Back to Toads, please.
I feel the same way when I go to Kennywood. Although I am seriously pregnant this year so I will be throwing my hands up wildly at the Merry-go-round and the train. I may scream happily when I see the Potato Patch....
Um, the swings shrunk the same way that toad will turn into a prince. It's simply magic. But on the off chance that toad doesn't not transform as every last fairytale will have you believe, take that shovel and beat the junk out of him. He deserves it for winning round 1.
Love the pic before the swings shrunk. It's funny how that seems to happen.